It's the final day of 2009. I have been awake since roughly 4:30 this morning, and I have worked a long day. Once again we were a little short-staffed, and I wound up working on the sandwich bar station again, which really wasn't a part of my plans for the day. I don't mind working the sandwich bar, but back to back 8 hour days is simply not good for my back, especially when we're short on staff! I survived though. Two days down for the week, two more to go.
I would like to reflect on the year's highs and lows, but that will have to wait until sometime in January, when I have a little bit more time and energy to think that far back. NaBloPoMo's theme for January is BEST, so maybe I can do some posts on that topic.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Back to the Grindstone
In some ways my work day was both long and short. My body tells me that it was a long, long day, but the time seemed to fly by rather quickly. I guess that happens when you're working nearly non-stop mostly by yourself! My feet are sore, my back is achy, and I feel worn out. One day down and three long days to go!
I am dreading tomorrow's shift, well, at least the getting up at 4:45 AM! I will need to be in bed before 9pm, and that doesn't always work out too well for me. Natural night owls have trouble falling asleep that early in the evening! But, I am pretty tuckered out already and my little pill should help make me drowsy, so maybe it won't be as difficult as I fear. Of course, I might not be in such great shape for partying until the New Year.
I am dreading tomorrow's shift, well, at least the getting up at 4:45 AM! I will need to be in bed before 9pm, and that doesn't always work out too well for me. Natural night owls have trouble falling asleep that early in the evening! But, I am pretty tuckered out already and my little pill should help make me drowsy, so maybe it won't be as difficult as I fear. Of course, I might not be in such great shape for partying until the New Year.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Boxing Day Blues
Christmas is over, and it was a good day, I think. We opened presents, had brunch, relaxed, and enjoyed a good dinner with family. Later that night, I took Sam and his friend to a late showing of Sherlock Holmes.
The movie was very good. I think it lived up to my expectations and surpassed any qualms I might have had before viewing the movie. It felt strange to be at the theatre and sitting alone, and I did have to fight off fatigue at one pint. We didn't get home until shortly after midnight, which made it a very long day.
With the disruption to my regular routine, I forgot to take my pill and didn't remember that tidbit of information until we were driving home from the theatre. Seeing as how I need to take it about an hour before bed and that it was already so late, I decided not to bother taking it. I figured that I was exhausted enough that I wouldn't need that little extra help to sleep. I was wrong.
I did start to doze off very quickly, but then Kane started snoring and I was wide awake without a speck of sleepiness. After several futile attempts to nod off, I finally moved to the living room and the futon, where I did manage to fall asleep, though fitfully and uncomfortably. Actually, I haven't slept overly well, since Kane began trying to follow his new sleep plan to get himself sleeping better.
Yesterday was not so great a day for me. I was exceptionally tired, and in a way that I haven't felt since I started taking those little pills every night. I also had a headache and fuzz for brains. I was irritable, too. As far as mood goes, yesterday stunk!
Now I have to wonder why yesterday was the worst I have felt for over a week. Was it all because I forgot that little pill? Or was it simply a result of not enough quality sleep that night? Maybe a combination of both reasons? I don't know the answer, but I do know that I did not like how I felt yesterday. Not one little bit!
The initial depression diagnosis hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. I was crushed, upset and stubbornly opposed to the diagnosis, even though I was just realistic enough to realize how right the diagnosis felt. I didn't like it, but the symptoms fit all too well.
The little pill is an anti-depressant, but it wasn't prescribed as an anti-depressant! This pill has been found to be helpful with pain and difficulty sleeping, which is why my doctor prescribed it to me. It's a very low, low dose, so I don't really think that this little pill is the source for the change in my mood. Maybe it is more than I think.
All I know is that the first day or two from the diagnosis were still yuck days for me. I was exhausted, unmotivated, no energy, headaches and mental fuzziness, blah, blah, blah. And then, there was sunshine. Almost literally! I felt energized and alert. I wasn't exhausted. The headache was gone, and my brain felt clear. Until yesterday.
It could be six of one and a half dozen of the other. I suppose the real test will begin later this week, when I work four long and early morning days in a row!
The movie was very good. I think it lived up to my expectations and surpassed any qualms I might have had before viewing the movie. It felt strange to be at the theatre and sitting alone, and I did have to fight off fatigue at one pint. We didn't get home until shortly after midnight, which made it a very long day.
With the disruption to my regular routine, I forgot to take my pill and didn't remember that tidbit of information until we were driving home from the theatre. Seeing as how I need to take it about an hour before bed and that it was already so late, I decided not to bother taking it. I figured that I was exhausted enough that I wouldn't need that little extra help to sleep. I was wrong.
I did start to doze off very quickly, but then Kane started snoring and I was wide awake without a speck of sleepiness. After several futile attempts to nod off, I finally moved to the living room and the futon, where I did manage to fall asleep, though fitfully and uncomfortably. Actually, I haven't slept overly well, since Kane began trying to follow his new sleep plan to get himself sleeping better.
Yesterday was not so great a day for me. I was exceptionally tired, and in a way that I haven't felt since I started taking those little pills every night. I also had a headache and fuzz for brains. I was irritable, too. As far as mood goes, yesterday stunk!
Now I have to wonder why yesterday was the worst I have felt for over a week. Was it all because I forgot that little pill? Or was it simply a result of not enough quality sleep that night? Maybe a combination of both reasons? I don't know the answer, but I do know that I did not like how I felt yesterday. Not one little bit!
The initial depression diagnosis hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. I was crushed, upset and stubbornly opposed to the diagnosis, even though I was just realistic enough to realize how right the diagnosis felt. I didn't like it, but the symptoms fit all too well.
The little pill is an anti-depressant, but it wasn't prescribed as an anti-depressant! This pill has been found to be helpful with pain and difficulty sleeping, which is why my doctor prescribed it to me. It's a very low, low dose, so I don't really think that this little pill is the source for the change in my mood. Maybe it is more than I think.
All I know is that the first day or two from the diagnosis were still yuck days for me. I was exhausted, unmotivated, no energy, headaches and mental fuzziness, blah, blah, blah. And then, there was sunshine. Almost literally! I felt energized and alert. I wasn't exhausted. The headache was gone, and my brain felt clear. Until yesterday.
It could be six of one and a half dozen of the other. I suppose the real test will begin later this week, when I work four long and early morning days in a row!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Twas the day before Christmas and...
Kane is at the gym. Casey is still asleep. Sam and Abby have been awake for a while, had breakfast and showers. I am making lists and checking them twice, as I anticipate the big family dinner tomorrow night. We're expecting a brother-in-law and niece for a visit this afternoon. There is a church service this evening, followed by a family viewing of White Christmas, possibly. A few more presents yet to wrap and tuck under the tree. Stockings to fill once the kidlets are in bed...the problem with kids getting older is that they stay up later! And I must remember to charge the camera battery!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Happy Birthday, Casey!
Today is Casey's 14th birthday. He received his present from us a couple of weeks ago, because he had something quite specific in mind and simply could not wait until today to get it. What he wanted was a new pair of shoes, but not just any pair of shoes! No, they had to be expensive and stylin', at least according to his sense of fashion. I personally think his new shoes are rather ugly, but that probably speaks more to my age than actual style. When I was his age, I just might have thought they were cool, too! The cake has been made and decorated and awaits the ritual candles and song later this evening. Casey has requested lasagna for supper, so that is what I am making, along with garlic bread and Caesar salad and raw veggies.
Happy birthday, dude!
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike2.5 Canada License.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Bounce Back
My doctor referred me to a program called Bounce Back. It is a self-help program to help those with mild to moderate depression. The doctor gave me a DVD which introduces the program and outlines some helpful steps for changes in lifestyle and ways of thinking. I have also been contacted by phone by a "coach" who will talk with me several times over the course of the program, guiding me along and answering questions. A big part of the program seems to be a series of workbooks that I can work through on my own. The first two workbooks arrived in the mail today.
Normally a workbook would take a week to work through but, because of the busyness of the holidays, my coach is giving me some extra time before we talk again.
The program looks interesting and helpful. I suppose the hard part is putting everything into place in one's life. It's easy to watch a video that tells you it is okay to say 'no' to people, but it is something entirely different to actually pull it off with confidence when the expectation of a 'yes' is high.
Normally a workbook would take a week to work through but, because of the busyness of the holidays, my coach is giving me some extra time before we talk again.
The program looks interesting and helpful. I suppose the hard part is putting everything into place in one's life. It's easy to watch a video that tells you it is okay to say 'no' to people, but it is something entirely different to actually pull it off with confidence when the expectation of a 'yes' is high.
Monday, December 21, 2009
4 More Sleeps!
It's hard to believe that Christmas is only a few more days away! I can confidently state that I am virtually ready for the big day. All that I have left to do is take care of one last present and a couple of Christmas cards, wrap two gifts, buy the last necessary grocery items, and take care of food prep for Christmas dinner!
The vertigo is fading, although I feel a little dizzy today. I feel a little more energetic and motivated and hopeful.
The turkey is defrosting in the fridge. The house is basically tidy and clean. All is good.
The vertigo is fading, although I feel a little dizzy today. I feel a little more energetic and motivated and hopeful.
The turkey is defrosting in the fridge. The house is basically tidy and clean. All is good.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
"In health news today..."
The official diagnosis on my dizziness is benign paroxysmal positional vertigo caused by a viral infection in the ears. It's a mouthful and can last a week or more. Sadly, someone who gets bppv once is more likely to get it again and again. Isn't that lovely!
I had my requested blood work done but, much to my dismay, everything came back normal. Really, it is a good thing to have no issues with my thyroid, blood sugars, or what-have-you, but I admit to feeling rather crushed to feel the way I do without a discernible cause. And then the doctor said that he felt I was depressed. The emotional dam broke. All the symptoms fit that diagnosis, even though it wasn't a diagnosis that I wanted to hear, not for myself.
As imperfect as I am, I strive to project an image of someone who is calm, cool, collected and in control of her life. Accepting a diagnosis of depression makes me feel like someone who is none of those things, and I feel embarrassed and ashamed. The logical and wise part of me knows that I am not a failure for being depressed, but the emotional part of me isn't ready to accept that as truth. The emotional part of me is a wreck right now, wounded by the diagnosis and resistant to being placed under the microscope.
I suspect that my journal and this blog could see a lot of emotional garbage over the next few months. Consider yourself warned!
I had my requested blood work done but, much to my dismay, everything came back normal. Really, it is a good thing to have no issues with my thyroid, blood sugars, or what-have-you, but I admit to feeling rather crushed to feel the way I do without a discernible cause. And then the doctor said that he felt I was depressed. The emotional dam broke. All the symptoms fit that diagnosis, even though it wasn't a diagnosis that I wanted to hear, not for myself.
As imperfect as I am, I strive to project an image of someone who is calm, cool, collected and in control of her life. Accepting a diagnosis of depression makes me feel like someone who is none of those things, and I feel embarrassed and ashamed. The logical and wise part of me knows that I am not a failure for being depressed, but the emotional part of me isn't ready to accept that as truth. The emotional part of me is a wreck right now, wounded by the diagnosis and resistant to being placed under the microscope.
I suspect that my journal and this blog could see a lot of emotional garbage over the next few months. Consider yourself warned!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Round & Round
Over the past several months, I have had moments of dizziness, but it has never been so prolonged as what I have been experiencing since yesterday afternoon. It's a little wearisome.
Nearly every head or upper body movement leaves me feeling as if the room is moving in the same direction, only lagging a second behind. At times, even my walking is affected, and I find myself leaning as I walk down the hall, unbalanced. Sometimes, just moving my eyes is enough to start the room spinning.
This is not a pleasant feeling, although I feel no ill-effects otherwise. There is no nausea, no vomiting, no actual falling has taken place yet...just weebling and wobbling and a sense of a slowly spinning walls and furniture.
I cannot believe that I am actually eager for Wednesday's doctor appointment.
Nearly every head or upper body movement leaves me feeling as if the room is moving in the same direction, only lagging a second behind. At times, even my walking is affected, and I find myself leaning as I walk down the hall, unbalanced. Sometimes, just moving my eyes is enough to start the room spinning.
This is not a pleasant feeling, although I feel no ill-effects otherwise. There is no nausea, no vomiting, no actual falling has taken place yet...just weebling and wobbling and a sense of a slowly spinning walls and furniture.
I cannot believe that I am actually eager for Wednesday's doctor appointment.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
15 Days and Counting
Fifteen days until Christmas, a day over two weeks! In some ways I am ready, and in other ways I am not.
The baking is finished! Aside from a birthday cake for Casey, I do not plan on doing any more baking for the rest of the year. I cannot believe that I am saying this, but I am seriously considering NOT even baking any pumpkin pies for Christmas dinner! Sacre bleu!
Okay, that will be a difficult decision to stick to. I love pumpkin pie. I love MY pumpkin pie, especially for left-overs, but I am baked out. Over the course of the past few weeks, I have baked: chocolate pistachio biscotti, white chocolate biscotti, rosemary nut shortbread, plain ol' regular shortbread, chocolate sugar cookies, sugar and spice cookies, coffee finger cookies, Earl Grey truffles, Chai truffles, and royal icing for decorating the chocolate sugar and spice cookies. I'd say I have more than met my baking quota for the holidays and beyond.
Most of my Christmas gift shopping is finished, and everything that I have has now been wrapped. I still need to get Casey's main gift and a little something for Sam, and maybe a few more stocking stuffers. There will be grocery shopping in my future though, for every day essentials and turkey and trimmings.
The tree was selected, put up and decorated last week. Poinsettias are adding ambiance to the living room, even if the mood is interrupted by unclaimed piles of clean laundry and random junk left to gather dust in the corners.
Tomorrow and Saturday are Abby's performances in Christmas Shop Around the Corner put on by our church's children's music program. Dress rehearsal is today, and I will be glad when this is over and done! As much as Abby loves the program, I get a little weary of shuttling her back and forth between church and home, especially this week with the extra practices. I know she will do a great job and pictures will follow. I'd like to say that I will have photos up Saturday night, but I highly doubt it.
I have only four more shifts before my week off for the holidays! My staff party is next week, and I am almost looking forward to it. Traditionally, we have gone bowling for the staff party, but this year we are going for a Chinese buffet. It's quite a change of pace; however, I think it might even be more enjoyable this way.
The pressure of finding Casey a birthday present has been removed by his very strong request for an expensive (and ugly) pair of DC shoes from West 49. It goes against my better judgement to put a $100 towards a pair of shoes for a rapidly growing teenage boy, but I appreciate how much he wanted these shoes and the desire to be as cool as his peers. I can roll my eyes at the oddity of being cool for owning a pair of ugly shoes, because I can remember being a teenager and having my own opinion on what was cool or not. I'm sure my parents didn't get it either; it's just the way of the world. So, Casey has his ugly/cool shoes. His friends have all expressed their delight in his cool shoes. Casey is happy...although he is still 13 for another 13 days!
The baking is finished! Aside from a birthday cake for Casey, I do not plan on doing any more baking for the rest of the year. I cannot believe that I am saying this, but I am seriously considering NOT even baking any pumpkin pies for Christmas dinner! Sacre bleu!
Okay, that will be a difficult decision to stick to. I love pumpkin pie. I love MY pumpkin pie, especially for left-overs, but I am baked out. Over the course of the past few weeks, I have baked: chocolate pistachio biscotti, white chocolate biscotti, rosemary nut shortbread, plain ol' regular shortbread, chocolate sugar cookies, sugar and spice cookies, coffee finger cookies, Earl Grey truffles, Chai truffles, and royal icing for decorating the chocolate sugar and spice cookies. I'd say I have more than met my baking quota for the holidays and beyond.
Most of my Christmas gift shopping is finished, and everything that I have has now been wrapped. I still need to get Casey's main gift and a little something for Sam, and maybe a few more stocking stuffers. There will be grocery shopping in my future though, for every day essentials and turkey and trimmings.
The tree was selected, put up and decorated last week. Poinsettias are adding ambiance to the living room, even if the mood is interrupted by unclaimed piles of clean laundry and random junk left to gather dust in the corners.
Tomorrow and Saturday are Abby's performances in Christmas Shop Around the Corner put on by our church's children's music program. Dress rehearsal is today, and I will be glad when this is over and done! As much as Abby loves the program, I get a little weary of shuttling her back and forth between church and home, especially this week with the extra practices. I know she will do a great job and pictures will follow. I'd like to say that I will have photos up Saturday night, but I highly doubt it.
I have only four more shifts before my week off for the holidays! My staff party is next week, and I am almost looking forward to it. Traditionally, we have gone bowling for the staff party, but this year we are going for a Chinese buffet. It's quite a change of pace; however, I think it might even be more enjoyable this way.
The pressure of finding Casey a birthday present has been removed by his very strong request for an expensive (and ugly) pair of DC shoes from West 49. It goes against my better judgement to put a $100 towards a pair of shoes for a rapidly growing teenage boy, but I appreciate how much he wanted these shoes and the desire to be as cool as his peers. I can roll my eyes at the oddity of being cool for owning a pair of ugly shoes, because I can remember being a teenager and having my own opinion on what was cool or not. I'm sure my parents didn't get it either; it's just the way of the world. So, Casey has his ugly/cool shoes. His friends have all expressed their delight in his cool shoes. Casey is happy...although he is still 13 for another 13 days!
Monday, December 07, 2009
GettingitalldonebeforeChristmas
This week is looking a little crazy, a little busy, and I feel almost overwhelmed by all that needs to be done, whether errands, household stuff, kid stuff, or Christmas stuff. The tired, energy-less me wants to crawl into a cave and hibernate, while the 'has-it-all together' me wants to get it all done, and in style, too! The temptation to cut corners or 'put off until another time' is very strong, but I want to persevere and get it all finished.
I am taking off from December 19th to the 27th, and since Christmas day isn't until the end of the week, I really do not want to waste my week off doing all sorts of things at the proverbial last minute. Those are the days that I can sleep in, do fun things with the kids, and see to the actual last minute details.
So, I will work like mad this week to finish up the baking and truffle making. I will drive Abby here and there and back and forth to rehearsals and parties and such. I will attend Abby's class/parent party and her church drama performances. I will do my shopping, laundry, and as much housework as I can manage in the gaps. I will work on Friday and Saturday this week and whatever days I am scheduled for next week. I will wrap presents, mail parcels and those last few Christmas cards. I will make my lists, because I can't function without my lists. I will fax off a registration form for an after-school ski program. I have a doctor's appointment, which I hope will be followed by a trip to the lab for blood work. I will drink copious amounts of tea in an effort to stay somewhat alert; it is suddenly much too cold for drinking Diet Coke.
In two weeks, I will sleep in.
I am taking off from December 19th to the 27th, and since Christmas day isn't until the end of the week, I really do not want to waste my week off doing all sorts of things at the proverbial last minute. Those are the days that I can sleep in, do fun things with the kids, and see to the actual last minute details.
So, I will work like mad this week to finish up the baking and truffle making. I will drive Abby here and there and back and forth to rehearsals and parties and such. I will attend Abby's class/parent party and her church drama performances. I will do my shopping, laundry, and as much housework as I can manage in the gaps. I will work on Friday and Saturday this week and whatever days I am scheduled for next week. I will wrap presents, mail parcels and those last few Christmas cards. I will make my lists, because I can't function without my lists. I will fax off a registration form for an after-school ski program. I have a doctor's appointment, which I hope will be followed by a trip to the lab for blood work. I will drink copious amounts of tea in an effort to stay somewhat alert; it is suddenly much too cold for drinking Diet Coke.
In two weeks, I will sleep in.
Sunday, December 06, 2009
More Baking
I chose not to post yesterday, and it felt a little strange. I was so cold, so tired that I resisted the urge to post simply to post. Besides, I had nothing to say.
I made it to church today. Well, I really had no excuse not to go to church, especially since Abby was performing in both services. It was mostly good. I bumped into a precious friend, which is always a blessing in itself. The sermon was good, I think, but I confess that I lost mental focus in spots and found myself having difficulty putting all the parts together. I was also a little disappointed that more Christmas music wasn't sung in worship, because that is one of my favourite parts of celebrating Christmas at church. Oh well.
The rest of the day was spent doing Christmas baking with my girlfriends for our annual bake & exchange day. The new recipe that I tried turned out well, and I like it even if it has coffee in it! My cookie supply is now overflowing, and yet I think I still want to bake more. I do need two dozen nut-free cookies to drop off for a Christmas program on Thursday, and most of my cookies do have nuts. More baking required! Plus, I plan on making my Earl Grey truffles this week, and quite possibly even the variant, Chai truffles. It all depends on my supply of chocolate and energy.
I made it to church today. Well, I really had no excuse not to go to church, especially since Abby was performing in both services. It was mostly good. I bumped into a precious friend, which is always a blessing in itself. The sermon was good, I think, but I confess that I lost mental focus in spots and found myself having difficulty putting all the parts together. I was also a little disappointed that more Christmas music wasn't sung in worship, because that is one of my favourite parts of celebrating Christmas at church. Oh well.
The rest of the day was spent doing Christmas baking with my girlfriends for our annual bake & exchange day. The new recipe that I tried turned out well, and I like it even if it has coffee in it! My cookie supply is now overflowing, and yet I think I still want to bake more. I do need two dozen nut-free cookies to drop off for a Christmas program on Thursday, and most of my cookies do have nuts. More baking required! Plus, I plan on making my Earl Grey truffles this week, and quite possibly even the variant, Chai truffles. It all depends on my supply of chocolate and energy.
Friday, December 04, 2009
Cold, Tired, Ick!
I am cold and tired. My feet feel like ice cubes, my hands are chilled, and all I want to do is curl up with a heating pad and my thick, fleecy blanket and sleep. But I can't.
There is supper to make...or at least reheat! Add a bag of salad mix and maybe some nachos or frozen chicken cordon bleu...it will be a mixed bag, but I don't care.
I woke up exhausted beyond belief, even more than normal for me, and my mind and body has stayed in that weary/mental fog state all day. It might not have been noticeable to my co-workers, but I had a difficult time focusing on my tasks and I made many minor mistakes. I made it through my shift and took Abby for an overdue haircut.
There is an eight hour shift ahead of me tomorrow, and I am cringing on the inside at the prospect of my alarm buzzing at 6:15am. The fact that tomorrow is Saturday is some consolation, at least, because it will be a busier, more enjoyable day, and the time should fly fairly quickly.
But I also feel kind of icky...and I don't like feeling icky at work, or any day!
I am rambling, which means that I am tired. At least I can go to bed early tonight.
There is supper to make...or at least reheat! Add a bag of salad mix and maybe some nachos or frozen chicken cordon bleu...it will be a mixed bag, but I don't care.
I woke up exhausted beyond belief, even more than normal for me, and my mind and body has stayed in that weary/mental fog state all day. It might not have been noticeable to my co-workers, but I had a difficult time focusing on my tasks and I made many minor mistakes. I made it through my shift and took Abby for an overdue haircut.
There is an eight hour shift ahead of me tomorrow, and I am cringing on the inside at the prospect of my alarm buzzing at 6:15am. The fact that tomorrow is Saturday is some consolation, at least, because it will be a busier, more enjoyable day, and the time should fly fairly quickly.
But I also feel kind of icky...and I don't like feeling icky at work, or any day!
I am rambling, which means that I am tired. At least I can go to bed early tonight.
Thursday, December 03, 2009
It's Crystal's Fault
I have been hooked on journaling since June 1990, when a dear friend gave me a journal as a graduation gift. That would be the red journal at the bottom of the stack. Nineteen and a half years and more than a dozen journals later, I am still putting my thoughts, heart and soul onto paper. Some entries are fluffy, while others are whiny, and yet others are the ramblings of a broken heart. The words written within those pages might not interest most people, nor will they win me any awards, but I find the entire process of writing and re-reading my own life story very rewarding. I am always excited to start fresh in a new journal. Choosing a new journal can be a challenge. I am too reluctant to spend lots of money on a fancy book with leather cover, but I still want my journal to have some character. My newly purchased journal is sitting on the top of the stack, and I cannot wait to open to the first page and put pen to paper.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike2.5 Canada License.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike2.5 Canada License.
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
O Christmas Tree
The tree is up and decorated, looking lovely now that we have wrestled and struggled and figured and spent more money! It seems that the plastic tree stand that I bought last year, to replace our lovely, old and rusted iron stand, was simply more hassle than it was supportive. After numerous attempts last night and a trip to Home Depot for washers and shims, we still had a tree that was ever attempting to topple over. So, we took it in the wallet and found a new stand this morning.
It is not the lovely iron sort that I hoped to find, and it was more money than Kane wanted to spend on a replacement item. In the end though, I think it was money well-spent. After all, a good tree stand will last for years and years, so if it lasts us even only 5 years, then it is only costing us $8.00 a year!
And you know, as much as esthetically I wanted an iron stand, this one is absolutely perfect! It was a breeze to assemble (and it can be easily taken apart and tucked into the box!), and there are no irritating screws to turn endlessly and hopelessly, as you dig into the tree trunk in a vain effort to effectively anchor the tree. Easy-peasy, done! I love it.
So, we had an adventure with the tree this Christmas. It isn't easy to keep fiddling with the stand or even to completely change stands when the tree is completely decorated, but we did it. The tree is upright, not leaning like the Tower of Pisa, and there isn't even a hint that tipping is in its' future.
If anyone wants a green plastic Christmas tree stand, then I have got one for you! Only used for last Christmas and about 18 hours this year.
It is not the lovely iron sort that I hoped to find, and it was more money than Kane wanted to spend on a replacement item. In the end though, I think it was money well-spent. After all, a good tree stand will last for years and years, so if it lasts us even only 5 years, then it is only costing us $8.00 a year!
And you know, as much as esthetically I wanted an iron stand, this one is absolutely perfect! It was a breeze to assemble (and it can be easily taken apart and tucked into the box!), and there are no irritating screws to turn endlessly and hopelessly, as you dig into the tree trunk in a vain effort to effectively anchor the tree. Easy-peasy, done! I love it.
So, we had an adventure with the tree this Christmas. It isn't easy to keep fiddling with the stand or even to completely change stands when the tree is completely decorated, but we did it. The tree is upright, not leaning like the Tower of Pisa, and there isn't even a hint that tipping is in its' future.
If anyone wants a green plastic Christmas tree stand, then I have got one for you! Only used for last Christmas and about 18 hours this year.
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Did It!
Not only did I manage to blog every day for the entire month of November, but I also managed to figure out how to put a NaBloPoMo badge on my blog! Yeah me! (And isn't it just the cutest! In a dark side kind of way.)
In all the years that I have been blogging, I have never once, before now, posted so many consecutive entries. It feels amazing to have succeeded, and I found the entire process to be much easier than I had anticipated. Sure some entries were short or uninteresting to everyone but myself, but the act of forcing myself to write something every day was a wonderful stretch of the mental muscles.
The NaBloPoMo theme for December is MITZVAH. When I first saw the theme, I was stumped and decided that I just wouldn't follow the theme. What is a mitzvah anyway? All I really know is that Jewish boys celebrate a bar mitzvah and girls a bat mitzvah, but what those celebrations are is even an elusive generalization rather than concrete fact. So, I googled it.
According to Wikipedia, mitzvah means commandment and is used in Judaism to refer to the 613 commandments given in the Torah and the seven rabbinic commandments added later.
Oh joy! I'd love to blog about rules and laws and commandments...not so much! But wait-there is more.
Mitzvah has also come to express an act of human kindness.
Ah, now that is a big and juicy topic to chew on for the month of December!
In all the years that I have been blogging, I have never once, before now, posted so many consecutive entries. It feels amazing to have succeeded, and I found the entire process to be much easier than I had anticipated. Sure some entries were short or uninteresting to everyone but myself, but the act of forcing myself to write something every day was a wonderful stretch of the mental muscles.
The NaBloPoMo theme for December is MITZVAH. When I first saw the theme, I was stumped and decided that I just wouldn't follow the theme. What is a mitzvah anyway? All I really know is that Jewish boys celebrate a bar mitzvah and girls a bat mitzvah, but what those celebrations are is even an elusive generalization rather than concrete fact. So, I googled it.
According to Wikipedia, mitzvah means commandment and is used in Judaism to refer to the 613 commandments given in the Torah and the seven rabbinic commandments added later.
Oh joy! I'd love to blog about rules and laws and commandments...not so much! But wait-there is more.
Mitzvah has also come to express an act of human kindness.
Ah, now that is a big and juicy topic to chew on for the month of December!
Monday, November 30, 2009
The End of November
Headaches suck!
And I have a major, full-blown, nasty one right now.
Thinking is too difficult in such a state, but I have my final post for the month of November. I'm in too much pain to feel much excitement about successfully posting every day for the entire month...maybe tomorrow I can cheer.
And I have a major, full-blown, nasty one right now.
Thinking is too difficult in such a state, but I have my final post for the month of November. I'm in too much pain to feel much excitement about successfully posting every day for the entire month...maybe tomorrow I can cheer.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Doctor, Doctor
I did it. I called to make an appointment with my doctor, although I can't get in until December 16th. The reception did say that I was welcome to drop in and see another doctor though if I didn't want to wait that long, and such an offer is rather tempting to me.
I have a love/hate relationship with my doctor, at least on my end. My doctor is a nice guy, laid back, down to earth, and a fellow believer. In fact, we used to attend the same church, so there is a level of relationship there, even if it is quite minimal.
On the other hand, I find myself frequently frustrated with my doctor, because he seldom seems to take my ailments seriously. I don't mind not having pills pushed on me for every cough, sneeze or ache, but I do mind having real aches and pains casually dismissed.
I am not the sort of person who sees the doctor on a revolving door basis. It might not be the best practice, but I generally wait until I am desperate before going to see the doctor, any doctor, not just this one. So, if I go to the doctor with ankle pain that has been going on for six months, please don't tell me that it is only a sprain and sprains can take six weeks to heal! There is a bit of a difference between six weeks and six months, and I think I can figure that out on my own. He didn't even touch my ankle! I waited forever in the waiting room only to be quickly "seen" and told to rest and ice my "sprained" ankle. I figured out on my own that what I needed was a new pair of shoes for work...no more pain! Now why couldn't my doctor take a couple of minutes to take my concern seriously and maybe think outside the box to find the reason for the pain?
Such is only one experience, but it illustrates so clearly why I am reluctant to see my doctor unless I am nearly on death's door. But I have questions and concerns that I would like answers for, and I will never truly know unless I ask. It just sucks that I have to ask my doctor.
I made an appointment with my doctor, because I assumed that the clinic doctors would prefer I see my own doctor since this isn't a desperate situation. Call me a coward for not wanting to discuss this with my doctor, but I really do feel it is easier to see one of the clinic doctors instead. I just might take the receptionist up on her offer to drop in this week.
It could all be nothing, at least nothing but getting older, but I have been wondering about hormones and thyroid issues. I have headaches very often, and I attribute that to being rear-ended two years ago, but it could be something more. I am tired all the time, even after a solid, good night's sleep! My motivation and energy are frequently lacking or easily zapped. I lose a lot of hair on a daily basis. It's not noticeably thin, but I don't know if it is normal to lose that much. Some of my hair is becoming quite coarse, and I have dark facial hair growing on my chin and jaw. My cycle used to be like clockwork but has been rather wonky for the past couple of years. My weight has been slowly creeping upward and nothing I do brings it back down. Quite often my mind seems a little fuzzy, and I seem to forget minor details more often than normal.
It could be nothing! And part of me is afraid that it really is nothing but a normal part of aging. I certainly don't want to waste my time or the doctor's time on something that is nothing, but it would be nice to know whether this is normal or not. Some of my "symptoms" can point towards hypothyroidism just as easily as they could point towards the fact that I am not so young anymore. I just want to know.
I have a love/hate relationship with my doctor, at least on my end. My doctor is a nice guy, laid back, down to earth, and a fellow believer. In fact, we used to attend the same church, so there is a level of relationship there, even if it is quite minimal.
On the other hand, I find myself frequently frustrated with my doctor, because he seldom seems to take my ailments seriously. I don't mind not having pills pushed on me for every cough, sneeze or ache, but I do mind having real aches and pains casually dismissed.
I am not the sort of person who sees the doctor on a revolving door basis. It might not be the best practice, but I generally wait until I am desperate before going to see the doctor, any doctor, not just this one. So, if I go to the doctor with ankle pain that has been going on for six months, please don't tell me that it is only a sprain and sprains can take six weeks to heal! There is a bit of a difference between six weeks and six months, and I think I can figure that out on my own. He didn't even touch my ankle! I waited forever in the waiting room only to be quickly "seen" and told to rest and ice my "sprained" ankle. I figured out on my own that what I needed was a new pair of shoes for work...no more pain! Now why couldn't my doctor take a couple of minutes to take my concern seriously and maybe think outside the box to find the reason for the pain?
Such is only one experience, but it illustrates so clearly why I am reluctant to see my doctor unless I am nearly on death's door. But I have questions and concerns that I would like answers for, and I will never truly know unless I ask. It just sucks that I have to ask my doctor.
I made an appointment with my doctor, because I assumed that the clinic doctors would prefer I see my own doctor since this isn't a desperate situation. Call me a coward for not wanting to discuss this with my doctor, but I really do feel it is easier to see one of the clinic doctors instead. I just might take the receptionist up on her offer to drop in this week.
It could all be nothing, at least nothing but getting older, but I have been wondering about hormones and thyroid issues. I have headaches very often, and I attribute that to being rear-ended two years ago, but it could be something more. I am tired all the time, even after a solid, good night's sleep! My motivation and energy are frequently lacking or easily zapped. I lose a lot of hair on a daily basis. It's not noticeably thin, but I don't know if it is normal to lose that much. Some of my hair is becoming quite coarse, and I have dark facial hair growing on my chin and jaw. My cycle used to be like clockwork but has been rather wonky for the past couple of years. My weight has been slowly creeping upward and nothing I do brings it back down. Quite often my mind seems a little fuzzy, and I seem to forget minor details more often than normal.
It could be nothing! And part of me is afraid that it really is nothing but a normal part of aging. I certainly don't want to waste my time or the doctor's time on something that is nothing, but it would be nice to know whether this is normal or not. Some of my "symptoms" can point towards hypothyroidism just as easily as they could point towards the fact that I am not so young anymore. I just want to know.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
A Good Day
Today was one of those days when virtually everything goes the way it should, and days like that simply do not happen all that often, especially at work, which is where my wonderful day occurred! It feels strange to say that work was so great today in light of how terrible the environment has been there lately, but it was a super sweet day.
Nobody called in sick. Everyone showed up for their shift on time. There was no boss to get in the way and ruffle feathers. The usual Saturday morning manager had the day off, which meant that my stress load was reduced as I didn't need to pick up her slack. The day started off slow, as far as customers go, but it soon picked up and was actually a busier day than it seemed to be. Breaks and chores were done in a timely fashion.
Now if only every day was so good!
Nobody called in sick. Everyone showed up for their shift on time. There was no boss to get in the way and ruffle feathers. The usual Saturday morning manager had the day off, which meant that my stress load was reduced as I didn't need to pick up her slack. The day started off slow, as far as customers go, but it soon picked up and was actually a busier day than it seemed to be. Breaks and chores were done in a timely fashion.
Now if only every day was so good!
Friday, November 27, 2009
Welcome to the Jungle
I really enjoyed my three days off work. I accomplished a fair bit: lots of baking, some cleaning, crafts. It was so good!
Then today I had to work, and it was not so good. Apparently, work has not been a nice place all week long. I am glad to have missed the worst of it! Today was somewhat more mellow than the previous days; however, there was no joy in going to work, only dread. There was also little joy to be found in the work itself, and that truly bothers me.
Most of the time I am relatively protected from the drama and turmoil that tends to break out amongst the full-time staff, mainly because I seldom do anything to put myself between the cross-hairs. But storms cause a lot of damage, even to areas not directly in their paths, and so it is with metaphorical storms! I might not take a direct hit, but I am still pelted by flying debris as I struggle to move against the wind.
There are a lot of metaphors which would apply for my workplace these days...storm, jungle, day-care/preschool, hell...you get the idea. Nobody wants to be there. Nobody.
And yet, tomorrow will be a better day! I can say that with completely confidence only because tomorrow is Saturday. My boss is out of town. A manager has the day off. The problem employees do not work on Saturdays. I will be running the show, and I am so excited! We could end up being utterly short-staffed and crazy busy, but it will still be a better day than most working weekdays!
Then today I had to work, and it was not so good. Apparently, work has not been a nice place all week long. I am glad to have missed the worst of it! Today was somewhat more mellow than the previous days; however, there was no joy in going to work, only dread. There was also little joy to be found in the work itself, and that truly bothers me.
Most of the time I am relatively protected from the drama and turmoil that tends to break out amongst the full-time staff, mainly because I seldom do anything to put myself between the cross-hairs. But storms cause a lot of damage, even to areas not directly in their paths, and so it is with metaphorical storms! I might not take a direct hit, but I am still pelted by flying debris as I struggle to move against the wind.
There are a lot of metaphors which would apply for my workplace these days...storm, jungle, day-care/preschool, hell...you get the idea. Nobody wants to be there. Nobody.
And yet, tomorrow will be a better day! I can say that with completely confidence only because tomorrow is Saturday. My boss is out of town. A manager has the day off. The problem employees do not work on Saturdays. I will be running the show, and I am so excited! We could end up being utterly short-staffed and crazy busy, but it will still be a better day than most working weekdays!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Bake Off
Well, my Christmas shopping list might not be dwindling, but I am making headway on the baking! Yesterday I made chocolate sugar cookies, which will be decorated with royal icing at some point in the near future. Today I am working on three different cookies: rosemary nut shortbread, white chocolate biscotti, and chocolate-pistachio biscotti. At some point I want to make my Earl Grey chocolate truffles and maybe some other cookies, too.
The sad part of it all, or the good part depending on the point of view, is that I am doing all this baking, and it is not even for my cookie exchange in a couple of weeks, the baking needed for Abby's class Christmas party, or for the two dozen cookies I promised to provide for Abby's drama production in mid-December! There is still lots of baking in my future! I have not done so much holiday baking for years.
And it isn't just the quantity that boggles my mind! I am also baking things that I tend to avoid, like rolled cookies. I've never even made royal icing before, but now I am planning on doing exactly that to decorate the rolled cookies already made and the ones I still plan on making. Rosemary nut shortbread? Sounds a little gourmet for my normal baking habits, but it sounds delicious and easy. How could I resist? Although the price of pine nuts is almost enough to swear me off that recipe for the rest of my life! The same goes for the pistachios, too.
But, they'll all taste good!
The sad part of it all, or the good part depending on the point of view, is that I am doing all this baking, and it is not even for my cookie exchange in a couple of weeks, the baking needed for Abby's class Christmas party, or for the two dozen cookies I promised to provide for Abby's drama production in mid-December! There is still lots of baking in my future! I have not done so much holiday baking for years.
And it isn't just the quantity that boggles my mind! I am also baking things that I tend to avoid, like rolled cookies. I've never even made royal icing before, but now I am planning on doing exactly that to decorate the rolled cookies already made and the ones I still plan on making. Rosemary nut shortbread? Sounds a little gourmet for my normal baking habits, but it sounds delicious and easy. How could I resist? Although the price of pine nuts is almost enough to swear me off that recipe for the rest of my life! The same goes for the pistachios, too.
But, they'll all taste good!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Bump, Set, Spike, or Something Like That
These photos are from a couple of weeks ago, when Abby's grade 6 "team" played volleyball against another elementary school. From a spectator's point of view, the games were entertaining, although not on the same level as watching Casey's grade 9 team play, but fun, nonetheless. There is something about watching young kids just learning a game that warms the heart in all the right places, even if you feel like cringing. This afternoon is another game at another school. I sure wish the girls had some home games, but somehow the boys team seems to have snagged them all.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike2.5 Canada License.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike2.5 Canada License.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Self-Portrait
I hate having my picture taken. Really. I do. The problem is that my self-image is weak and my insecurities strong. However, there are moments, here and there, where I feel like I belong in this skin, and I am comfortable. Those moments are rare, but that feeling of knowing exactly who I am is a powerful one. I like it.
And so I am challenging myself to find more of those 'Ta-Da!' moments when everything is perfectly aligned within me. I am challenging myself to drop some of the masks that I hide behind, to show the real me. It is time to step in front of the camera.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike2.5 Canada License.
Monday, November 23, 2009
The Final Countdown
It is one month until Casey's 14th birthday and very nearly one month until Christmas! I feel so incredibly unprepared.
Ideally, I like to plan ahead, make my lists and work on tucking away gifts in advance, but I have found my response time slowing down over the past few years. Whether or not this is the furthest behind I've ever been, I do not know, but it feels as if I am so far behind that I am almost back at last Christmas!
Of course, perception is typically a lot more frightening than reality, just like objects appear closer in the side mirrors! Sure, I have a lot to do before the big day, but I am further out of the starting gate than I give myself credit for. I do have a couple of gifts tucked away, and I have just about completed my gifts for my friends. Still...
A couple of gifts tucked away is a far cry from what I actually need to get! Christmas cards need to be made and written in and mailed. Decorations need to be dragged out of storage and space found for the tree. Oh, and baking!
I guess I had better get started on my lists!
Ideally, I like to plan ahead, make my lists and work on tucking away gifts in advance, but I have found my response time slowing down over the past few years. Whether or not this is the furthest behind I've ever been, I do not know, but it feels as if I am so far behind that I am almost back at last Christmas!
Of course, perception is typically a lot more frightening than reality, just like objects appear closer in the side mirrors! Sure, I have a lot to do before the big day, but I am further out of the starting gate than I give myself credit for. I do have a couple of gifts tucked away, and I have just about completed my gifts for my friends. Still...
A couple of gifts tucked away is a far cry from what I actually need to get! Christmas cards need to be made and written in and mailed. Decorations need to be dragged out of storage and space found for the tree. Oh, and baking!
I guess I had better get started on my lists!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Dutch Blitz
Since September, Sunday nights have been Family Fun Nights at the Thompson house. I came up the plan as a way to keep our family connected in a fun, easy-going manner. With the kids getting older, and busier, quality family time sometimes feels elusive or, at best, a struggle to fit into the crowded schedule. Sunday nights are the one night of the week that is mostly free, and so we began a new tradition. I expected some resistance. Abby was keen on the idea as I knew that she would be. The boys grumbled and whined just a little that first Sunday night, but they were soon caught up in the fun of playing a card game together. And the kids have never looked back! In fact, I would go so far as to say that the kids look forward to Family Night, and the prospect of cleaning the kitchen together after supper before playing our games doesn't even phase them overly much. Okay, so they might not be loving the clean up part of the night, but I figure that the family that plays together can also clean together, at least for 10 minutes one night a week!
We have done a variety of things on our Sunday nights. We have played board games and card games. We played games together on the Wii. We went to the EnergyPlex.
Since we began our Family Nights, I have been eager to find a Dutch Blitz card game. I looked at Toys 'R Us and Wal-Mart and a couple other game type stores with no success. Until today! Yeah!
I grew up playing Dutch Blitz and was eager to teach it to my kids, so tonight we played it. It was so much fun. Casey wound up being the ultimate winner at the end of the night, but we all had moments of success and humiliating failure.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike2.5 Canada License.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Charlie Brown's Christmas
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike2.5 Canada License.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Frantic Friday
I have been dreading this day all week, simply because it is jam-packed with little room for breathing, and I don't really like days like that too much.
Here is what the day looks like:
6:30am-alarm rings (waaaay too early, but it had to be done)
-wake up Abby and Sam, let Casey sleep for another half hour
7:00am-apply heavy make-up to Abby's face and make sure she has everything she needs for the day
7:05 ish-Kane leaves with Sam and Abby
-first stop Tim Horton's for a coffee, then to drop Sam off at his school for an early band rehearsal, and then to drop Abby off at the community theatre for her school dress rehearsal
7:30is-the phone rings. It is my boss asking if I can come in to work at 8:30 instead of at 10am. I agree. Reluctantly.
7:55am-Casey leaves for school.
8:00am-I leave for work.
2:00pm-I finished work and stopped at IGA for more milk (the third gallon in three days!) Before leaving work, I called Kane to ask him to pick up Sam from school, as Sam had a spare last block.
2:30ish-I arrive at home, change, chug a Diet Coke (need the caffeine), and catch up on email/Facebook/blog. Okay, so I did have a bit of breathing room in the day; it's just not enough!
4:00pm-Sam has his tennis lesson.
5:00pm-Sam is finished tennis and needs to be picked up.
6:00pm-Abby needs to be at the community theatre, in costume and make-up. Doors open for the show.
6:30pm-the first performance of Charlie Brown's Christmas presented by Abby's school with Abby playing the role of Pigpen
7:30pm-second performance with Abby in the choir this time around. Maybe I can be dropped off at home, but someone will need to pick Abby up once the show is over around 8pm.
9:00pm-hopefully I am about to tuck myself into bed, so that I can hopefully get a good night's sleep for my full work day tomorrow
Thankfully, I made a pot of lentil barley soup yesterday, and since Kane didn't get home from work until 11pm last night, there is lots of soup left to reheat for supper tonight. The kids won't eat it, but there are fixings for sandwiches.
Here is what the day looks like:
6:30am-alarm rings (waaaay too early, but it had to be done)
-wake up Abby and Sam, let Casey sleep for another half hour
7:00am-apply heavy make-up to Abby's face and make sure she has everything she needs for the day
7:05 ish-Kane leaves with Sam and Abby
-first stop Tim Horton's for a coffee, then to drop Sam off at his school for an early band rehearsal, and then to drop Abby off at the community theatre for her school dress rehearsal
7:30is-the phone rings. It is my boss asking if I can come in to work at 8:30 instead of at 10am. I agree. Reluctantly.
7:55am-Casey leaves for school.
8:00am-I leave for work.
2:00pm-I finished work and stopped at IGA for more milk (the third gallon in three days!) Before leaving work, I called Kane to ask him to pick up Sam from school, as Sam had a spare last block.
2:30ish-I arrive at home, change, chug a Diet Coke (need the caffeine), and catch up on email/Facebook/blog. Okay, so I did have a bit of breathing room in the day; it's just not enough!
4:00pm-Sam has his tennis lesson.
5:00pm-Sam is finished tennis and needs to be picked up.
6:00pm-Abby needs to be at the community theatre, in costume and make-up. Doors open for the show.
6:30pm-the first performance of Charlie Brown's Christmas presented by Abby's school with Abby playing the role of Pigpen
7:30pm-second performance with Abby in the choir this time around. Maybe I can be dropped off at home, but someone will need to pick Abby up once the show is over around 8pm.
9:00pm-hopefully I am about to tuck myself into bed, so that I can hopefully get a good night's sleep for my full work day tomorrow
Thankfully, I made a pot of lentil barley soup yesterday, and since Kane didn't get home from work until 11pm last night, there is lots of soup left to reheat for supper tonight. The kids won't eat it, but there are fixings for sandwiches.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Beginning to Look Like Christmas
I am not ready for Christmas. November is winding down, and I have barely even given Christmas shopping a moment of consideration. I am not ready. I am not yet in the mood.
Abby, on the other hand, has been thinking about Christmas since spring. She has been rehearsing for Charlie Brown's Christmas since early September, and she has even completed some of her Christmas gift shopping/making.
In a way, our two worlds will collide tomorrow with the Charlie Brown's Christmas performances. I loved watching this television classic as a child, and I love it still as an adult. It ranks right up there with the classic How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
Abby will be Pigpen in the first performance and part of the choir in the second show. I will sit in the audience, taking photos and enjoying every minute of the show. I'll be reminded once more of the true meaning of Christmas, and the Charlie Brown inside of me will find a bit of joy as we head into the holiday season.
Abby, on the other hand, has been thinking about Christmas since spring. She has been rehearsing for Charlie Brown's Christmas since early September, and she has even completed some of her Christmas gift shopping/making.
In a way, our two worlds will collide tomorrow with the Charlie Brown's Christmas performances. I loved watching this television classic as a child, and I love it still as an adult. It ranks right up there with the classic How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
Abby will be Pigpen in the first performance and part of the choir in the second show. I will sit in the audience, taking photos and enjoying every minute of the show. I'll be reminded once more of the true meaning of Christmas, and the Charlie Brown inside of me will find a bit of joy as we head into the holiday season.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Life as an Amputee
I think about C a lot. It isn't that my thoughts are consumed by C, because they aren't. There is enough water under that bridge now, so that I can sometimes go an entire day without my thoughts drifting in her direction. It is just that I find it impossible to expunge her completely from my heart.
How does one go about that anyway? Is it even possible to erase a former best friend's existence from the very centre of what makes you YOU? When does a decade of memories cease to be remembered?
Throughout my house are little tangible reminders of the one who was once such an important part of my life.
-my very first Willow Tree figure given to me on my 30th birthday
-a little clay bowl handmade given to me one Christmas
-a diffuser with vanilla and gingerbread oils from another Christmas
-a throw blanket from a birthday
-Coca-Cola canisters given just because
-various mugs
-a group photo sitting on the bookshelf
-a memory box full of cards and notes, handwritten words of friendship and love
Even if I could box up all those objects and throw them away, I still would not be free of my memories of C. I am thankful, at least, that time softens the rough, sharp edges of pain. Sadness remains, and always questions and wondering.
Does she ever find her thoughts drifting my way, the way my thoughts drift towards her? Does she still cling to her own tangible mementos of our history, or has she tossed them away like she discarded me? Does she ever question her decisions, her actions?
Of course, I do not know the answers to those questions. I may never know, and I think I am okay with that. The past cannot be changed, and, although I may sometimes doubt myself, I don't think I would make too many changes if I could go back in time. There is a broader purpose here, even if I am at a loss to understand it. Someday I might have an "Aha!" moment, but that is not today. I do not understand how someone could completely turn her back on those who were her closest friends. Hitting a few potholes I can understand. Going through a rough patch I can understand. But this, this is something different. It is an amputation.
Amputees are said to experience phantom pains in their missing limbs. I guess I could say that phantom pains are what I am experiencing. This pain is not real. It hurts but not deeply, not anymore. There is sorrow over what has been lost and cannot be replaced, but there is also adaptation, moving on with life. I have learned to function, to live without C in my life. It doesn't feel quite right, but a casual observer would be hard-pressed to spot the difference. Maybe there is a psychological limp in my step...
Maybe, just maybe, there is a limp in C's step, too.
How does one go about that anyway? Is it even possible to erase a former best friend's existence from the very centre of what makes you YOU? When does a decade of memories cease to be remembered?
Throughout my house are little tangible reminders of the one who was once such an important part of my life.
-my very first Willow Tree figure given to me on my 30th birthday
-a little clay bowl handmade given to me one Christmas
-a diffuser with vanilla and gingerbread oils from another Christmas
-a throw blanket from a birthday
-Coca-Cola canisters given just because
-various mugs
-a group photo sitting on the bookshelf
-a memory box full of cards and notes, handwritten words of friendship and love
Even if I could box up all those objects and throw them away, I still would not be free of my memories of C. I am thankful, at least, that time softens the rough, sharp edges of pain. Sadness remains, and always questions and wondering.
Does she ever find her thoughts drifting my way, the way my thoughts drift towards her? Does she still cling to her own tangible mementos of our history, or has she tossed them away like she discarded me? Does she ever question her decisions, her actions?
Of course, I do not know the answers to those questions. I may never know, and I think I am okay with that. The past cannot be changed, and, although I may sometimes doubt myself, I don't think I would make too many changes if I could go back in time. There is a broader purpose here, even if I am at a loss to understand it. Someday I might have an "Aha!" moment, but that is not today. I do not understand how someone could completely turn her back on those who were her closest friends. Hitting a few potholes I can understand. Going through a rough patch I can understand. But this, this is something different. It is an amputation.
Amputees are said to experience phantom pains in their missing limbs. I guess I could say that phantom pains are what I am experiencing. This pain is not real. It hurts but not deeply, not anymore. There is sorrow over what has been lost and cannot be replaced, but there is also adaptation, moving on with life. I have learned to function, to live without C in my life. It doesn't feel quite right, but a casual observer would be hard-pressed to spot the difference. Maybe there is a psychological limp in my step...
Maybe, just maybe, there is a limp in C's step, too.
Sweatshop
What does it mean when I am sweating buckets after a mere half hour of rather light cleaning in Sam's room? I mean really! All I did was put a clean sheet on his bed, picked up a few clothes, threw a few things into the recycling bin or the garbage bin, and did a little shuffling around. I don't think I even broke a sweat cleaning Casey's room, and I put a lot more effort into that room! I've been sitting for ten minutes already, and I still feel overly hot and sweaty, like I just ran a marathon.
I didn't sleep well last night, so I am uber tired. There is the ever-present cough/phlegm/stuffy nose, but I don't "feel" sick. Except that my sweat glands are working overtime with so little to show for it but a sheen on my skin. Weirdness!
I didn't sleep well last night, so I am uber tired. There is the ever-present cough/phlegm/stuffy nose, but I don't "feel" sick. Except that my sweat glands are working overtime with so little to show for it but a sheen on my skin. Weirdness!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Sleepyhead
It figures! I have three consecutive days off and lots to do around the house, and I am so incredibly tired and unmotivated this morning. The phone rang at 5:20 AM, ripping me from a very good sleep.
It was a manager from work wondering where I left the key for the cupboard where the extra cash drawers are kept. Unfortunately for me, I think she forgot that I was not the last person to use the key, because the tills get changed again late at night. Then she asked if I wanted to work today. Uh, let me think about it in my half-asleep state of mind...no!
A return to slumber land did not come easily, and the ring of the alarm came way too soon. I feel like I have been dragging my hacking carcass around all morning, while all I want to do is veg out on the sofa with a comfy throw blanket and season 2 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I could do that, but I have things to do.
Laundry is a work in progress. I've already made a trek to Wal-Mart for milk, a few groceries, and the new Star Trek DVD. The kitchen, dining room and living room have been tidied a bit, but there is still more to be done.
Sam's room needs purging and cleaning, although I probably won't get to it today. Tomorrow. I have the brilliant (or stupid) idea to make scalloped potatoes and ham for supper, which would be super yummy and fine, except for the actual process of 'making' the scalloped potatoes. Oh, am I feeling lazy today!
I could put off some of these things for tomorrow or Thursday. Really, I could and without stressing about it overly much, but the trouble with postponement is that the result is always accumulation. Little bites are easier to swallow than big ones, or so they say, whoever 'they' are. Also, the feelings of laziness and being tired seldom evaporate so quickly. I am much more likely to wake up tomorrow just as tired as I did today, especially since I am still under the weather, so to speak.
So, I will attempt a compromise of sorts. I've got the laundry and I've done some tidying done. I'll even make the big dinner. I might even do more purging somewhere, maybe even start in Sam's room. Then, in the morning, I will finish Sam's room, and the afternoon can be for curling up in front of the TV.
Sounds like a plan!
It was a manager from work wondering where I left the key for the cupboard where the extra cash drawers are kept. Unfortunately for me, I think she forgot that I was not the last person to use the key, because the tills get changed again late at night. Then she asked if I wanted to work today. Uh, let me think about it in my half-asleep state of mind...no!
A return to slumber land did not come easily, and the ring of the alarm came way too soon. I feel like I have been dragging my hacking carcass around all morning, while all I want to do is veg out on the sofa with a comfy throw blanket and season 2 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I could do that, but I have things to do.
Laundry is a work in progress. I've already made a trek to Wal-Mart for milk, a few groceries, and the new Star Trek DVD. The kitchen, dining room and living room have been tidied a bit, but there is still more to be done.
Sam's room needs purging and cleaning, although I probably won't get to it today. Tomorrow. I have the brilliant (or stupid) idea to make scalloped potatoes and ham for supper, which would be super yummy and fine, except for the actual process of 'making' the scalloped potatoes. Oh, am I feeling lazy today!
I could put off some of these things for tomorrow or Thursday. Really, I could and without stressing about it overly much, but the trouble with postponement is that the result is always accumulation. Little bites are easier to swallow than big ones, or so they say, whoever 'they' are. Also, the feelings of laziness and being tired seldom evaporate so quickly. I am much more likely to wake up tomorrow just as tired as I did today, especially since I am still under the weather, so to speak.
So, I will attempt a compromise of sorts. I've got the laundry and I've done some tidying done. I'll even make the big dinner. I might even do more purging somewhere, maybe even start in Sam's room. Then, in the morning, I will finish Sam's room, and the afternoon can be for curling up in front of the TV.
Sounds like a plan!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Cough & Hack
I am tired of this cough, tired of only getting a good night's sleep with the aid of night-time cough & cold medication. The medication knocks me out, makes me loopy, and the morning "hangover" is no fun either. But on the other hand, I hate the feeling of a pound of phlegm stuck in my throat. I hate coughing so hard that my chest hurts, and I am gasping for breath. I don't like taking my own Kleenex box to work with me, but the cheap toilet paper is a little rough for frequent nose-blowing. I am keeping Neo-Citran, Kleenex, Tylenol, Strepsil and Halls in business, too. Most of all I hate being plagued by this cough, when I am otherwise hale and hearty.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Abby and I went to the big, annual craft sale today, and I must say that I came away rather disappointed. We went to the same event last year, and this year's seemed to be lacking in comparison. While I have no idea how many vendors were actually in attendance, I do know that there were a great deal less than the previous year. Even the crowd of people was significantly thinner than last year. After wandering past every table twice, I managed to spend only $7.50. Sure, there were several things that caught my eye, but in the end I would have been buying them for myself, which kind of defeats the purpose of going to a craft sale to do some Christmas shopping.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Party On
It was a pretty good day at work. I've been home for almost an hour. I've showered and prettified myself. I've even taken a few moments to relax, catch up on email and Facebook, and downed a Diet Coke. In a few minutes I am back out the door. To a birthday party for a co-worker. She is 25 today, going on 10. Seriously! But I like her, and so I am going to this party, even though it really isn't what I want to do on a Saturday night. It will be fine though.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Progress
So after posting to my blog yesterday, I decided to clean Casey's bedroom. At a glance his room was not too bad, but I knew that there was a lot of clutter lurking in nooks and crannies. I began in the closet by removing everything from the shelves and wiping out the dust. With my handy-dandy three bag system of garbage, recycling, and thrift store donations, it wasn't long before the closet was a lean, mean, organized machine! I am kind of envious, because there is still quite a bit of usable space in the closet.
I tackled the bed next. There are two drawers under the bed, so I emptied, purged and re-filled those. Plus, I also did some scoping under the bed, while I had one of the drawers pulled out from the bed. I was amazed by what I pulled out from that abyss, especially when I realized that those items could only be under the bed if they were intentionally put there. There is just no way that anything thicker than a marble can innocently lose itself under that bed! I pulled out from under the bed: a 10 lb dumbbell, a lunch bag (complete with empty juice box and two ziploc bags full of mouldy, unidentifiable food), two empty shoe boxes, several unopened juice boxes, a football, a soccer ball, and a ton of last year's school work.
I made good progress in that room yesterday, although I ran out of time and there are still a few minor details to finish. The bedding, blankets included, are being washed today. I still have to take out of a bunch of sports paraphernalia (golf balls, tennis balls, baseballs, soccer balls, footballs, tennis racket, bike helmets, bike tire pump) and put them in the shed outside. Why those things were in Casey's bedroom in the first place is beyond me!
His room looks a lot better already, and I hope that he can maintain such a state of cleanliness. Really, it shouldn't be that difficult of a task! Right?
I tackled the bed next. There are two drawers under the bed, so I emptied, purged and re-filled those. Plus, I also did some scoping under the bed, while I had one of the drawers pulled out from the bed. I was amazed by what I pulled out from that abyss, especially when I realized that those items could only be under the bed if they were intentionally put there. There is just no way that anything thicker than a marble can innocently lose itself under that bed! I pulled out from under the bed: a 10 lb dumbbell, a lunch bag (complete with empty juice box and two ziploc bags full of mouldy, unidentifiable food), two empty shoe boxes, several unopened juice boxes, a football, a soccer ball, and a ton of last year's school work.
I made good progress in that room yesterday, although I ran out of time and there are still a few minor details to finish. The bedding, blankets included, are being washed today. I still have to take out of a bunch of sports paraphernalia (golf balls, tennis balls, baseballs, soccer balls, footballs, tennis racket, bike helmets, bike tire pump) and put them in the shed outside. Why those things were in Casey's bedroom in the first place is beyond me!
His room looks a lot better already, and I hope that he can maintain such a state of cleanliness. Really, it shouldn't be that difficult of a task! Right?
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Beautiful Day
It's a beautiful day. The sky is blue, the sun is shining, and, although it is just a little on the chilly side, it is still nice enough to be outside and enjoy.
Okay, so I am not outside enjoying the day, but that is because I am too tired and have too much to do. Today and tomorrow are days off for me, and I really want them to be mostly productive days, even if they turn out to be not as productive as I want them to be.
I was up way too late last night, because of my nasty cough. It seems that a night without Neo-Citran is not a good thing. I do cough a fair bit during the day still, but the coughing goes to an extreme level once the sun goes down. I gave up on sleep somewhere around 1am, and made myself a cup of Neo-Citran in the hopes of being able to grab at least a few hours of restful sleep. About an hour later I was back in bed and managed to sleep until my alarm buzzed at 7am. It sure would have been nice if today was Sunday after all! Instead, I had to get up and get the kids up and moving towards school.
The problem with any sort of medication that makes me drowsy is the after-effect. The next morning has me feeling fuzzy and weak in the limbs, almost a little shaky, and this is usually the case even after a full night's sleep. So I was not feeling so hot this morning with slightly less than five hours of sleep. Shortly after the kids had all gone to school, I opted for a nap in my bed for a little more than an hour. That extra hour of sleep was so nice and so needed, but it wasn't nearly enough! Unfortunately, I couldn't sleep the day away and had to get up and moving.
I had a lunch meeting with my bosses today. They wanted to go over a bunch of things with me, just as they have been doing one-on-one with all the managers and supervisors over the past month. I am always a little nervous about such meetings, even when I know that there is nothing bad coming down the pipe, but it went well and all is good. It looks like I could be seeing a little bit more responsibility, which is both exciting and intimidating, but I can do it.
Now I am home and contemplating the next hour and a half or so until I need to pick Abby up from school and take her to her church program. It's really not enough time to get too immersed in any one project, because I find such interruptions are detrimental to my ultimate progress. However, I guess I can work on some purging and organizing.
I have also been thinking about the NaNoWriMo thing and how I just do not seem to be a novel writer. I like the concept behind NaNoWriMo, where you write like mad for one month, not to produce perfection but to simply be motivated to write. I dig that! It is the kind of motivation that I need and often thrive on, but I am not sure that a novel lies within me. I enjoy writing, though I may not be very good at it. I did manage to write over 5000 words, but it isn't a novel, per se, and I just can't see myself writing on that same vein for another 45, 000 words. But, I seem to be doing well with the NaBloPoMo!
Okay, so I am not outside enjoying the day, but that is because I am too tired and have too much to do. Today and tomorrow are days off for me, and I really want them to be mostly productive days, even if they turn out to be not as productive as I want them to be.
I was up way too late last night, because of my nasty cough. It seems that a night without Neo-Citran is not a good thing. I do cough a fair bit during the day still, but the coughing goes to an extreme level once the sun goes down. I gave up on sleep somewhere around 1am, and made myself a cup of Neo-Citran in the hopes of being able to grab at least a few hours of restful sleep. About an hour later I was back in bed and managed to sleep until my alarm buzzed at 7am. It sure would have been nice if today was Sunday after all! Instead, I had to get up and get the kids up and moving towards school.
The problem with any sort of medication that makes me drowsy is the after-effect. The next morning has me feeling fuzzy and weak in the limbs, almost a little shaky, and this is usually the case even after a full night's sleep. So I was not feeling so hot this morning with slightly less than five hours of sleep. Shortly after the kids had all gone to school, I opted for a nap in my bed for a little more than an hour. That extra hour of sleep was so nice and so needed, but it wasn't nearly enough! Unfortunately, I couldn't sleep the day away and had to get up and moving.
I had a lunch meeting with my bosses today. They wanted to go over a bunch of things with me, just as they have been doing one-on-one with all the managers and supervisors over the past month. I am always a little nervous about such meetings, even when I know that there is nothing bad coming down the pipe, but it went well and all is good. It looks like I could be seeing a little bit more responsibility, which is both exciting and intimidating, but I can do it.
Now I am home and contemplating the next hour and a half or so until I need to pick Abby up from school and take her to her church program. It's really not enough time to get too immersed in any one project, because I find such interruptions are detrimental to my ultimate progress. However, I guess I can work on some purging and organizing.
I have also been thinking about the NaNoWriMo thing and how I just do not seem to be a novel writer. I like the concept behind NaNoWriMo, where you write like mad for one month, not to produce perfection but to simply be motivated to write. I dig that! It is the kind of motivation that I need and often thrive on, but I am not sure that a novel lies within me. I enjoy writing, though I may not be very good at it. I did manage to write over 5000 words, but it isn't a novel, per se, and I just can't see myself writing on that same vein for another 45, 000 words. But, I seem to be doing well with the NaBloPoMo!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Time Warp
It feels like Saturday today, but it is only Wednesday. I think the reason for my confusion is the fact that I worked a 7am to 3pm shift, which is not a shift I normally work on a week day. Unless it is summer, I only work a full shift on Saturdays. As well, since today is a statutory holiday, most of my co-workers were students and other part-timers, instead of the week day full-timers. A couple of times someone would make a comment about seeing me on Saturday, and I had to pause each time to think about what day of the week it was. Silly me!
As long as I don't forget to set my alarm tonight, so that the kids are up for school on time!
As long as I don't forget to set my alarm tonight, so that the kids are up for school on time!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Motivation
I am always amazed by how quickly junk accumulates and reproduces within our home. Despite regular purging and organizing, we amass more stuff and my efforts to produce margins are trounced on by the growing clutter.
It is time to purge once again. Last week was supposed to be my area's thrift store donation pick-up, and I said that I would have my contribution ready. I over-estimated my motivation in the midst of my crazy work schedule and being sick. The truck pulled up outside my house last Thursday, but I had nothing set outside waiting for pick-up! In fact, I had nothing ready at all. I felt guilty for failing to be ready when I said that I would, but the timing just didn't work out the way that I thought that it would. How was I to know that I would be asked to start work early and come in on days off as often as I was the past two weeks?
Yesterday, after working all day, I came home and was surprised by a burst of energy and motivation to begin another round of purging/organizing. Kane put a bunch of things in storage for the winter, like fans and tennis rackets, while I packed up a bunch of puzzles destined for the thrift store.
There is a lot to do, and I would really like to get most, if not all, of it done before the end of November, so that the house is "ready" for the upheaval of Christmas decorating. Besides the routine removal of excess junk, we also have a few projects that have been on stand-by for some time. Sam's bedroom is still in need of drywall, a ceiling, and finishing. The rec room is in need of a ceiling and finishing. Casey has been promised a new paint job in his bedroom for some time as well. So much to do...
It is time to purge once again. Last week was supposed to be my area's thrift store donation pick-up, and I said that I would have my contribution ready. I over-estimated my motivation in the midst of my crazy work schedule and being sick. The truck pulled up outside my house last Thursday, but I had nothing set outside waiting for pick-up! In fact, I had nothing ready at all. I felt guilty for failing to be ready when I said that I would, but the timing just didn't work out the way that I thought that it would. How was I to know that I would be asked to start work early and come in on days off as often as I was the past two weeks?
Yesterday, after working all day, I came home and was surprised by a burst of energy and motivation to begin another round of purging/organizing. Kane put a bunch of things in storage for the winter, like fans and tennis rackets, while I packed up a bunch of puzzles destined for the thrift store.
There is a lot to do, and I would really like to get most, if not all, of it done before the end of November, so that the house is "ready" for the upheaval of Christmas decorating. Besides the routine removal of excess junk, we also have a few projects that have been on stand-by for some time. Sam's bedroom is still in need of drywall, a ceiling, and finishing. The rec room is in need of a ceiling and finishing. Casey has been promised a new paint job in his bedroom for some time as well. So much to do...
Monday, November 09, 2009
Energy!
Our church held a family event at EnergyPlex last night, and so we participated. The kids had fun, while the parents mostly sat around or chased after their children. Sam and Abby both gave the rock wall a try, although they did not make it all the way to the top. I think Casey could have made it if he had tried, but he didn't. The kids also had fun jumping into the foam pit. There was just a little too much speed and motion for my camera to focus properly for some of the pics, but that's okay. Someday I will get everything figured out!This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike2.5 Canada License.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Sleepy-head
I slept well last night, really well and for nearly ten hours!
Most of my sleep for the past week has been helped along with a dose of Neo-Citran before bed. While I generally do not like to take medication unless necessary, I do want to be able to sleep at night rather than keeping myself and everyone else awake with a persistent, hacking cough. The trouble with these 'sleep-inducing' medications is that they leave me feeling rather odd the next morning, sluggish and weak-limbed. Also, after a couple of consecutive uses, the sleep-inducing effects seem to stop working, leaving me with the dilemma of being wide-awake in bed.
I have survived the past week without too much coughing at night and still being able to get enough rest. If only there was something effective to use during the day that wouldn't make me feel ill, because there are a number of 'day-time' remedies that just do not agree with me!
Friday night was the odd night of the week. Kane and I were out for a fundraiser, so I was up later than I normally am on a Friday night. I am used to being in bed by 9:00pm in order to be reasonably conscious for my early morning Saturday work shift, but I sacrificed an early bed time to go have some fun and support a good cause. Because of the lateness of my arrival back home, I did not have any Neo-Citran that night, and I did not sleep well at all. I think I still actually had a decent number of hours of sleep, but my rest was fitful and not so restful.
Last night, I made myself a steaming cup of Neo-Citran by 7:30pm, and it wasn't long before the medication assaulted my already tired body. I crawled into bed sometime around 9:30pm and fell asleep very quickly.
Kane came into the bedroom around 11:30pm. I woke up feeling like I had already been asleep for half the night instead of only two hours! I went back to sleep and didn't wake up until my alarm buzzed at 7:45am! While I did get up at that point in time, I could have quite easily hit the snooze button and fallen back asleep.
It isn't very often that I get such a good night's sleep, so I am thankful and rested. I obviously needed it, especially after how busy I have been the past couple of weeks and my current not-so-healthy state.
Most of my sleep for the past week has been helped along with a dose of Neo-Citran before bed. While I generally do not like to take medication unless necessary, I do want to be able to sleep at night rather than keeping myself and everyone else awake with a persistent, hacking cough. The trouble with these 'sleep-inducing' medications is that they leave me feeling rather odd the next morning, sluggish and weak-limbed. Also, after a couple of consecutive uses, the sleep-inducing effects seem to stop working, leaving me with the dilemma of being wide-awake in bed.
I have survived the past week without too much coughing at night and still being able to get enough rest. If only there was something effective to use during the day that wouldn't make me feel ill, because there are a number of 'day-time' remedies that just do not agree with me!
Friday night was the odd night of the week. Kane and I were out for a fundraiser, so I was up later than I normally am on a Friday night. I am used to being in bed by 9:00pm in order to be reasonably conscious for my early morning Saturday work shift, but I sacrificed an early bed time to go have some fun and support a good cause. Because of the lateness of my arrival back home, I did not have any Neo-Citran that night, and I did not sleep well at all. I think I still actually had a decent number of hours of sleep, but my rest was fitful and not so restful.
Last night, I made myself a steaming cup of Neo-Citran by 7:30pm, and it wasn't long before the medication assaulted my already tired body. I crawled into bed sometime around 9:30pm and fell asleep very quickly.
Kane came into the bedroom around 11:30pm. I woke up feeling like I had already been asleep for half the night instead of only two hours! I went back to sleep and didn't wake up until my alarm buzzed at 7:45am! While I did get up at that point in time, I could have quite easily hit the snooze button and fallen back asleep.
It isn't very often that I get such a good night's sleep, so I am thankful and rested. I obviously needed it, especially after how busy I have been the past couple of weeks and my current not-so-healthy state.
Saturday, November 07, 2009
If You Give a Mouse Some Peanut Butter...
A week ago Friday I was sitting on the sofa, doing a Sudoku puzzle, while I had a few moments of down time before I had to pick up Sam from tennis and drop him and Casey off at the church. As I was sitting there, I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye in the area in the gap between the two sofa cushions not far from where I was sitting. I thought nothing of it, because I really was not focused on anything but my puzzle. Then there was another movement that made me think of a Whack-a-Mole game, and something finally clicked in my brain. In a heartbeat, I replayed the movements in my head and realized that whatever had been moving between the cushions was a blackish, greyish, brownish colour and had been literally popping up between the cushions. Having added the facts together, I let loose with a bit of a scream, while leaping from the sofa and landing on the coffee table!
Casey and Abby questioned my sanity, as I tentatively pulled the cushions from the sofa. Seeing nothing, I returned the cushions and moved from my perch on the table to the entry way across the room. The kids were still mocking me, until I screamed again when a little dark creature popped out from beneath the sofa! My scream must have frightened the mouse, because he darted back under the sofa. And so began a tedious game of "cat and mouse"! Pun intended.
Abby grabbed the cat, while Casey and I attempted to keep the mouse relatively contained. The mouse tried to escape from under the sofa to behind the bookshelf and back to the sofa and back to the bookcase and so on and so on. Maggie, the cat, took eager note of the mouse, but she was not quick enough to put me out of my misery.
It wasn't long until I had to leave. I called Kane to let him know of our little unwanted guest, so that he could deal with it when he got home...and hopefully before I got back home. Alas, the mouse was still at large by the time I returned, so we set a trap up behind the bookshelf and went out for dinner. When we returned, the mouse was caught!
I hate mice. I hate having mice in my house. I hate it even more when I can see the mice in my house!
I knew that there were mice before one attempted to kill me by cardiac arrest, because my parents had seen a mouse or two downstairs in their rooms. They set up a trap and had two successive kills before my mouse made its' appearance. So, I knew there were mice in the house. I didn't like it, but I was dealing with it...until I saw one inches from where I was sitting. I am still creeped out about that! Call me a wimp, but I won't sit on that sofa again for a long time!
In the meantime, there have been no more dead mice in any traps, nor any mouse sightings. I so hope that means that all the mice are gone from my house, but I can't be confident of that being fact. I can live with that, even if it makes me a little nervous about walking around without shoes on or opening drawers.
Casey and Abby questioned my sanity, as I tentatively pulled the cushions from the sofa. Seeing nothing, I returned the cushions and moved from my perch on the table to the entry way across the room. The kids were still mocking me, until I screamed again when a little dark creature popped out from beneath the sofa! My scream must have frightened the mouse, because he darted back under the sofa. And so began a tedious game of "cat and mouse"! Pun intended.
Abby grabbed the cat, while Casey and I attempted to keep the mouse relatively contained. The mouse tried to escape from under the sofa to behind the bookshelf and back to the sofa and back to the bookcase and so on and so on. Maggie, the cat, took eager note of the mouse, but she was not quick enough to put me out of my misery.
It wasn't long until I had to leave. I called Kane to let him know of our little unwanted guest, so that he could deal with it when he got home...and hopefully before I got back home. Alas, the mouse was still at large by the time I returned, so we set a trap up behind the bookshelf and went out for dinner. When we returned, the mouse was caught!
I hate mice. I hate having mice in my house. I hate it even more when I can see the mice in my house!
I knew that there were mice before one attempted to kill me by cardiac arrest, because my parents had seen a mouse or two downstairs in their rooms. They set up a trap and had two successive kills before my mouse made its' appearance. So, I knew there were mice in the house. I didn't like it, but I was dealing with it...until I saw one inches from where I was sitting.
In the meantime, there have been no more dead mice in any traps, nor any mouse sightings. I so hope that means that all the mice are gone from my house, but I can't be confident of that being fact. I can live with that, even if it makes me a little nervous about walking around without shoes on or opening drawers.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Falling Behind
I hate feeling sick. I hate being busy and feeling sick at the same time!
The things that I had hoped to do earlier in the week never got done. It is frustrating, because I would really like to be able to get everything done at once and I can't. I was supposed to have a bunch of stuff ready to be picked up yesterday for donations to a thrift store, but I never even got started. I feel bad about it. The pick-up driver came to the door yesterday, because nothing had been set outside, but I had nothing to give. Nothing ready to give anyway.
My house is a mess. Christmas is just around the corner, so I want to get cleaning and organizing and purging done before the decorations and tree come out. Will it happen? Possibly...
The things that I had hoped to do earlier in the week never got done. It is frustrating, because I would really like to be able to get everything done at once and I can't. I was supposed to have a bunch of stuff ready to be picked up yesterday for donations to a thrift store, but I never even got started. I feel bad about it. The pick-up driver came to the door yesterday, because nothing had been set outside, but I had nothing to give. Nothing ready to give anyway.
My house is a mess. Christmas is just around the corner, so I want to get cleaning and organizing and purging done before the decorations and tree come out. Will it happen? Possibly...
Thursday, November 05, 2009
So Far, So Good
I have written over 4500 words so far for NaNoWriMo, which is probably more words than I ever reached in the two previous years of attempting the contest. Four thousand words is still a far cry from the 50, 000 needed to be successful, but I am pleased with my progress. I do not think what I am writing would technically qualify as a novel, but I'll just go where I am led and see what happens in the end.
And today's blog entry is the fifth for the month of November, which means that I am doing well so far for NaBloPoMo. My biggest challenge is to remember to blog on any given day, because sometimes time gets away from me and I might not think about my commitment to daily blogging until I am already snugly tucked into my bed. So far, so good! Today's blog post is the latest of the month, being written at 6:45pm, but at least I wasn't in bed yet.
And today's blog entry is the fifth for the month of November, which means that I am doing well so far for NaBloPoMo. My biggest challenge is to remember to blog on any given day, because sometimes time gets away from me and I might not think about my commitment to daily blogging until I am already snugly tucked into my bed. So far, so good! Today's blog post is the latest of the month, being written at 6:45pm, but at least I wasn't in bed yet.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Take Your Kid to Work Day
Today was Take Your Kid To Work Day; a day for grade nine students to go to work with a parent or family friend and experience the workplace. Casey came to work with me for a four hour shift. We were busy over lunch, so Casey was kept hopping. He did a great job of cleaning the dining room and washing the dishes. He was even given a cut of the tips, so he made nearly $2!This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike2.5 Canada License.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Resistance is Futile
My body is succumbing to whatever this is that it has been fighting for more than a week now. The sore throat and cough have found a new ally in my stuffy/runny nose, and a headache has surfaced to tie everything together. I don't believe I slept too well last night between the coughing, the scratchy-dry throat, and the frequent nose-blowing requirements. I must remember to pick up some Neo-Citran today!
Monday, November 02, 2009
Monday Moanings
I am tired, my feet hurt, and it feels like I've already lived through a very long week and it is only Monday! As Mondays go this was not the worst I have ever lived through, but it has certainly been far from the best.
It started with Casey stumbling out of bed this morning and promptly falling back to sleep on the sofa, wrapped up in his fleece throw blanket. He had a good time at the youth camp out over the weekend, but he was complaining last night of not feeling well again. So, I called the school to record his absence. This was his third missed day of school since last Monday, but there is a lot of nasty stuff going around.
Then my phone rang, and I knew without looking at the call display that it was my workplace. Could I start at 8:00am instead of 9:00am? Normally, I cannot make it in until 8:30am, but things worked out well enough this morning for me to make it there at the requested time. Someone had called in sick late last night. I'm not sure why that was a last minute surprise, since this same person was sick all of last week and had a doctor's note to stay home. Go figure!
So we were short-staffed at work today to start with, and then another co-worker was sent home from work two hours into her shift, because she was experiencing major back pain. It's a good thing the two owners came in around lunch time, because we would have been down to 3 employees for a while!
As if being short-staffed wasn't bad enough, we were also forced to work around a couple of men and equipment for the entire day. We are getting new tills, so the guys were installing wires and cables and doing whatever it was they needed to do. Meanwhile, we tried our best to do our jobs, while dodging the boxes on the floor, the guy on the ladder in the doorway, and the ultra-expensive new till balanced on a stack of milk crates in the drive-thru corner. Fun, fun, fun.
The co-worker who called in sick late last night dropped by this afternoon to show a doctor's note excusing her from work for the rest of this week, too. Of course, that means that I was asked to once again give up a day off and come into work on Wednesday. As much as I wanted to say 'No', I couldn't. Wednesday is Take Your Child to Work Day, and I am taking Casey to work with me. Since I wasn't scheduled for that day, I was going to volunteer an hour or two of my time to do dishes and take care of the lobby with Casey. It's kind of hard to say no to a paid shift when you're going to be coming in anyway.
And lastly, I am fighting something. I've been dealing with a sore, scratchy, froggy throat for over a week, although some moments/days are better than others. I have also had a cough that can be persistent at times, like last Friday night when I coughed more than I slept. This morning I awoke to a stuffy nose, and it has been asking for attention most of the day. I am not sick enough to justify missing work, but if I continue to be pressed into extra hours of work, then I am going to have a difficult time fighting this thing off.
It started with Casey stumbling out of bed this morning and promptly falling back to sleep on the sofa, wrapped up in his fleece throw blanket. He had a good time at the youth camp out over the weekend, but he was complaining last night of not feeling well again. So, I called the school to record his absence. This was his third missed day of school since last Monday, but there is a lot of nasty stuff going around.
Then my phone rang, and I knew without looking at the call display that it was my workplace. Could I start at 8:00am instead of 9:00am? Normally, I cannot make it in until 8:30am, but things worked out well enough this morning for me to make it there at the requested time. Someone had called in sick late last night. I'm not sure why that was a last minute surprise, since this same person was sick all of last week and had a doctor's note to stay home. Go figure!
So we were short-staffed at work today to start with, and then another co-worker was sent home from work two hours into her shift, because she was experiencing major back pain. It's a good thing the two owners came in around lunch time, because we would have been down to 3 employees for a while!
As if being short-staffed wasn't bad enough, we were also forced to work around a couple of men and equipment for the entire day. We are getting new tills, so the guys were installing wires and cables and doing whatever it was they needed to do. Meanwhile, we tried our best to do our jobs, while dodging the boxes on the floor, the guy on the ladder in the doorway, and the ultra-expensive new till balanced on a stack of milk crates in the drive-thru corner. Fun, fun, fun.
The co-worker who called in sick late last night dropped by this afternoon to show a doctor's note excusing her from work for the rest of this week, too. Of course, that means that I was asked to once again give up a day off and come into work on Wednesday. As much as I wanted to say 'No', I couldn't. Wednesday is Take Your Child to Work Day, and I am taking Casey to work with me. Since I wasn't scheduled for that day, I was going to volunteer an hour or two of my time to do dishes and take care of the lobby with Casey. It's kind of hard to say no to a paid shift when you're going to be coming in anyway.
And lastly, I am fighting something. I've been dealing with a sore, scratchy, froggy throat for over a week, although some moments/days are better than others. I have also had a cough that can be persistent at times, like last Friday night when I coughed more than I slept. This morning I awoke to a stuffy nose, and it has been asking for attention most of the day. I am not sick enough to justify missing work, but if I continue to be pressed into extra hours of work, then I am going to have a difficult time fighting this thing off.
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Writer's Block
It is the first of November. Already! Yikes!
And so begins a month of frantic writing...at least that's the plan. November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and also National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo). A few days ago, I was thinking that I could do both, but now that November is here I feel inadequate and like a failure before I even begin.
This is my first time for attempting NaBloPoMo, but I have never yet posted a blog every day for a month. I think the blog challenge will be the most difficult for that reason. At least for the novel challenge there is no daily requirement; I just need to write a story with 50 000 words and submit it before the end of the month.
No sweat, right?
And so begins a month of frantic writing...at least that's the plan. November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and also National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo). A few days ago, I was thinking that I could do both, but now that November is here I feel inadequate and like a failure before I even begin.
This is my first time for attempting NaBloPoMo, but I have never yet posted a blog every day for a month. I think the blog challenge will be the most difficult for that reason. At least for the novel challenge there is no daily requirement; I just need to write a story with 50 000 words and submit it before the end of the month.
No sweat, right?
Monday, October 26, 2009
Wake Up Call
I am trying to look both behind and ahead, but it seems like I am constantly stuck on today. There is so much going on that I am afraid of missing something, so I push the pause button on so many tasks and goals. Staying organized is like trying to climb a steep sand dune, sliding two steps back for every step upward. All my lists, charts and planners can only keep me quasi-organized...so long as I can remember to look at them often. Unfortunately, the things that tend to fall through the cracks first are often the most important!
I stayed home from church yesterday, because Casey was sick. Kane brought home an envelope for me from a friend with a note inside. The message was brief, but it hit me right between the eyes. There was no condemnation, no anger, no finger pointing, just a request for a shoulder to 'cry' on, some friendly support. I suddenly realized that I am so busy living life that I haven't been a very good friend of late.
There have been times when I feel somewhat neglected or lost in the shuffle, especially when I am not in regular contact with my friends. One friend seldom reaches out to 'touch' me, even when I have made the effort to initiate contact, and so I no longer try too hard and attempt not to care too much that I am not in her loop. Still, my heart desires to be a good friend to all my friends, but I fall flat on my face sometimes.
I stayed home from church yesterday, because Casey was sick. Kane brought home an envelope for me from a friend with a note inside. The message was brief, but it hit me right between the eyes. There was no condemnation, no anger, no finger pointing, just a request for a shoulder to 'cry' on, some friendly support. I suddenly realized that I am so busy living life that I haven't been a very good friend of late.
There have been times when I feel somewhat neglected or lost in the shuffle, especially when I am not in regular contact with my friends. One friend seldom reaches out to 'touch' me, even when I have made the effort to initiate contact, and so I no longer try too hard and attempt not to care too much that I am not in her loop. Still, my heart desires to be a good friend to all my friends, but I fall flat on my face sometimes.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Blindsided
I was feeling rather good when I arrived at work this morning. When I saw the chaos surrounding me, I felt mostly good but a little frustrated, knowing that there doesn't need to be such disorder yet powerless to change it. So I plodded along, doing my job and trying to keep a firm grip on my good mood.
Toward the end of my shift I made a mistake. I innocently asked some questions about our new tip-sharing policies and was quickly snapped at. I tried to explain that I wasn't upset. I wasn't even completely disagreeing, but there are some flaws in the system which are benefiting only a few while leaving others with empty pockets. I do not think I deserve the same amount of tips as those that started work at 5am or 6 am. After all, I started work at 10am, but I went home with no tips at all. However, the employee who started at 8am and the employee that started at 9am both went home without tips, too. How is that fair? At the end of the day, I am not going to whine and complain or lose sleep over whether or not I get tips at my job. Honestly, even before this new sharing policy, there were more days where I got no tips than days that I got any tips worth getting excited about! It's just the nature of the fast food business. But, I didn't really appreciate the huffy response I got for raising a few questions.
So I left work feeling slightly deflated but generally fine. My head hurts, my back is sore, and I am not very excited about cleaning my kitchen or making supper.
I got home and gathered the mail from the mailbox. There was a greeting card-sized envelope with my name on it, hand-written, no less! Excitement bubbled up like an underground spring pushing up through the mud. No return address. Who could it be from? I so seldom get any personal mail I couldn't help but feel thrilled...until I opened it to find a card from a business trying to get my business. All that joy and excitement disappeared in the blink of an eye, leaving me vulnerable to sadness and self-pity.
Toward the end of my shift I made a mistake. I innocently asked some questions about our new tip-sharing policies and was quickly snapped at. I tried to explain that I wasn't upset. I wasn't even completely disagreeing, but there are some flaws in the system which are benefiting only a few while leaving others with empty pockets. I do not think I deserve the same amount of tips as those that started work at 5am or 6 am. After all, I started work at 10am, but I went home with no tips at all. However, the employee who started at 8am and the employee that started at 9am both went home without tips, too. How is that fair? At the end of the day, I am not going to whine and complain or lose sleep over whether or not I get tips at my job. Honestly, even before this new sharing policy, there were more days where I got no tips than days that I got any tips worth getting excited about! It's just the nature of the fast food business. But, I didn't really appreciate the huffy response I got for raising a few questions.
So I left work feeling slightly deflated but generally fine. My head hurts, my back is sore, and I am not very excited about cleaning my kitchen or making supper.
I got home and gathered the mail from the mailbox. There was a greeting card-sized envelope with my name on it, hand-written, no less! Excitement bubbled up like an underground spring pushing up through the mud. No return address. Who could it be from? I so seldom get any personal mail I couldn't help but feel thrilled...until I opened it to find a card from a business trying to get my business. All that joy and excitement disappeared in the blink of an eye, leaving me vulnerable to sadness and self-pity.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Family
This photo was taken after our Thanksgiving lunch this past Sunday. Most are members of my family, but one of Kane's brothers is also in the photo. It was good to have family over for a good meal and fellowship.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike2.5 Canada License.
Friday, October 09, 2009
Thanksgiving
It is the beginning of Thanksgiving weekend, which is one of my favourite times of the year. Okay, I like any excuse to cook a big turkey meal! What can I say? I love cooking the big meals.
The photo is of an apple pie that I baked earlier this week. Unfortunately, it is no longer with us, having been consumed by the ravenous masses that occupy our home. It was very good, even if the crust was store-bought! I did attempt to make some pie pastry for a second apple pie, but my results were less than wonderful, resulting in a 'wrapper' pie. It wasn't even worth taking a picture of...I can bake lots of things, but pie pastry just seems to be beyond my grasp.
It will be a bit of a busy, crazy weekend. I am off work today, which meant I had last minute running around to do along with regular household stuff. I work a full day tomorrow from 7am to 3pm. After work, I will need to bake pumpkin pies and do some other prep work, so everything is ready to get the turkey in the oven in the morning. No rest for the weary! Sunday is when we'll be digging into the turkey, followed by slipping into near coma-like states after lunch. Monday I am back to work with another full and early day, 6am to 2pm. The nice thing about working Monday is that it is a stat holiday, so I will be working with the part-timers and there is no manager on until later in the day. There is always potential for disaster or chaos on days like that, but I would rather work one of those days than some of the bad days with the full-timers.
Thanksgiving Dinner Menu:
roast turkey, of course!
mashed potatoes
stuffing
gravy
Brussels sprouts
carrots, although I haven't decided if they will be cooked or raw or both
crescent rolls
ham
pickles, an important food group for my kids
pumpkin pie
and possible another dessert option
and my mom will likely make sweet potatoes, not something I enjoy
I have no idea who we can expect for company, but that seems to be the way works with our extended families. We could have anywhere from 7 to 18, although I highly doubt that our numbers will reach that high. My best guess is that we'll have 10-12, including ourselves.
Edited to add:
It looks like we can expect to have 15-17! My bad! I forgot that one of my sisters was living in town again...but it will all be good. Maybe we can even get a family photo with most of the extended family...
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike2.5 Canada License.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
