A lot has been happening around here. There is a lot to catch up on and I don't know connected my thoughts will be so bear with me.
Last Saturday, Kane and the kids hit a deer while driving on the highway to Vernon to help our sister-in-law put in a fence. I was at home baking with banana bread in the oven when the phone rang. When the voice identified himself as a member of the Vernon RCMP and told me that my husband had been in an accident my heart was seized by fear. A friend drove me to the Vernon hospital, brought me tea, kept me grounded, and brought my kids back home. Everyone was fine, but it was an experience that I don't want to go through again anytime soon. Kane has had some stiffness and pain in his neck and back but is healing quickly. The kids handled the whole thing much better than I had expected they would. Sam was thrilled to ride in the front of the ambulance and got a kick out of sharing a birth date with the RCMP officer asking him questions. Abby was worried about the deer suffering and wondered why it had a blue tongue. Casey found reason to boast about being the only one in the family to have been in two accidents. I was the one most upset by the whole situation, because I wasn't there and didn't know how everyone was until I arrived at the hospital. It was a long day!
Our sister-in-law was very helpful through it all. She made some phone calls for us to the tow yard and drove us to the tow yard and to a car rental agency. It was rather disappointing and frustrating then to have her ignore our phone calls over the next few days. She finally talked to Kane on the phone the other day and let him know how disappointed she was in us! She was upset that the kids didn't want to go to her house but chose to be taken home. I appreciated her offer to take the kids to her house while I waited at the hospital for Kane to have x-rays taken and to be released, but when I asked the kids their preference they chose to go home. Honestly, I can't say that I blame them. They had just had a rather traumatic experience and just wanted to be where they would feel safe and comfortable, and the sister-in-law only had one bench in her van so transporting all five of us would have been a problem. She also went on about the fact that we don't spend enough time with her.
This is a soap opera in the making, but it doesn't make much sense without a bit of history first. Brent and Pat have a rocky relationship and have never lived too close to Kelowna. They just bought a house in Vernon in March in anticipation of Brent's retirement from the air force. Brent is not quite finished yet though, so he is still working in Victoria while Pat and their daughter now live in Vernon. That is the extremely condensed Reader's Digest version, sanitized and censored.
Pat is weird. I think that there are some mental health issues going on there, too. I don't know but spending a lot of time with the in-laws isn't high on my list of things to do. It doesn't help that they once told Kane that they didn't like me, didn't want to get to know me, and thought that I had to change to make them feel comfortable and jump through whatever hoops they wanted me to. Still, I'm mature enough to suck it up and spend time with the in-laws, to bite my tongue and swallow my pride. I knew this would happen when she moved to Vernon...that she would expect us to spend a lot of time with her. She just doesn't seem to understand that we have busy lives and we really don't have free time from April to the end of June. This isn't something new this year; we've been involved with baseball for years now and if she paid attention to us at all she would realize that. Instead, she is upset that we don't just cancel a practice in order to have dinner with her. I'd shake my head but it hurts too much to do that. We don't have all that many practices now, but we have games almost every night. We let her know when we had games in Vernon so she could come and watch and spend some time with us, but she backed out at the last minute.
I'm really trying not to let her upset me too much, but her attitude about last Saturday is quite frustrating. We appreciated everything she did for us, and we thanked her many times. It isn't our fault that she bought all sorts of things for Kane and the kids for a breakfast that they never got to eat. They never asked for a deer to jump in front of the van. The kids like their aunt and cousin well enough, but there is not a super-tight relationship there. Who wouldn't want to go home in this situation? They were driven home by someone who has been my friend for 19 years and knows my kids better than their aunt and uncle. I'm sorry that I wasn't in a position to be thinking very clearly, but I had a bit of a shock to my system, too.
It's been a long and stressful week. Kane has been off work all work on doctor's orders, but I am so glad that he is feeling better every day. I found it extremely frustrating that our doctor seemed to be more sympathetic and proactive about Kane's accident injuries than he was or has been about mine.
I had to call my insurance adjuster on Tuesday to let her know what I thought was a fair and reasonable settlement amount. She didn't laugh at me, but she did say that it was significantly more than she was prepared to pay out. She said she'd review my file and get back to me on Thursday. So, she called me at work on Thursday to tell me what the management team felt my claim was worth. $10, 000 plus receipted expenses which would bring the total to about $12, 000. I think I feel insulted and most definitely depressed by that offer. How much is 8 months of constant headaches and recurring back pain worth? How much more is it worth when the headaches and back pain are still occurring? Certainly it should be worth more than what they offered. I told her that I'd have to think about it, and she expects me to call her back next week. I'm thinking that I should talk to a lawyer and get some experienced advice; I just don't know when I'll have time to do that.
My work schedule last week and for the coming week is heavier than what I am used to and really wanting. A week and a half ago, I worked a couple of hours on the sandwich bar station which is something that I have gone to great lengths to avoid since my accident. There is a reason that I have avoided that task...it makes my back hurt! I should have known better but I did it anyway, because I get weary of trying to avoid those tasks and sometimes I just can't avoid it. I've been paying for it ever since. This past Wednesday my back was in so much pain that I went home from work after only an hour and a half. I managed to work a full shift on Thursday, but my headache spiralled out of control and was the worst it has been for a while. As a result, I called in sick for Friday, took a muscle relaxant to help me sleep, and spent most of Friday sleeping it off. That's another thing...I haven't been sleeping well for quite a while either. It doesn't matter how tired I am. I am so physically exhausted. It isn't uncommon for me to go to my chiropractor appointment in the middle of the afternoon and to nearly doze off while laying on the bed waiting for my turn. I am so tired but when I go to bed I lie awake for an hour, two hours and then sleep fitfully. The muscle relaxant seems to help me sleep sometimes, but it isn't something that I want to depend on. I guess I should go see my doctor again.
I have felt like I have been on the verge of becoming sick for weeks and weeks now. I'd wake up with a touch of soreness in my throat but nothing has ever come of it. It's quite surprising that I have stayed as "healthy" as I have since I have become battle weary from the constant headaches and the less than stellar sleep. However, I think I am finally losing the battle. The soreness in the throat is a little worse. My nose is a little stuffy today, and there's a touch of a cough. I just want normalcy, to be better and healthy and head-ache free! I can feel myself slipping into depression once again.
And tomorrow is Mother's Day. I try not to hold onto any expectations. We've had baseball tournaments every Mother's Day for the past 8 years and this year is no exception. I don't ask for much, just to have love and appreciation demonstrated in some way that shows intent and purpose. Mostly I am left disappointed. I don't expect anything different this year.
