3 Weeks Plus

I suppose it has been a while since I last posted here. To be honest, I haven't been up to it or up to much of anything really. I've managed to drag my carcass to work for my scheduled shifts, manipulated my body through the required motions to get the job done and dragged my carcass back home at the end of my shift, exhausted and in much pain. Within an hour at work my back is screaming in pain and I find myself leaning heavily on the counter at every opportunity. Through it all is the never-ending headache which refuses to be tamed by Advil, Tylenol, or even something a little stronger.

One co-worker is constantly asking if I'm okay and recognizes my little white lies when I tell her that I'm doing okay. Kane has been nagging me, telling me that I shouldn't be going to work, and hounding me about the hours I'm working. He is concerned and probably right. I know it, but it isn't so easy for me to throw in the towel and show weakness. I don't want to let anyone down. It is a busy time at work. We're busy but understaffed, so I feel guilty about being unable to perform the way I want to and the way I am needed to perform. I feel guilty about needing and wanting time off work to fully recover. The guilt is fuelled by the fact that I don't look injured. It wasn't until I brought photos of my broken van into work that some of my co-workers realized just how devastating the impact was! But, I am realizing that, as much as I am needed at work, my health has to come first and I truly am not up to working the hours that I am being given.
It doesn't matter if I work four hours or eight, when I am done work I spend the rest of the night laying on the futon with ice and a heating pad. In pain and completely wiped out.

I have a doctor's appointment after work on Monday, and I am going to see what he will say about taking more time off work. Massage has been lovely, most of the time, but I haven't noticed any difference. The physiotherapist has exhausted all his means of manipulating a headache and struck out with each one. He even resorted to acupuncture on my last visit which was a first for me. He's at a loss, unable to explain why I have this constant headache and puzzled as to why he can't do anything to affect it for good or bad. It's been a little more than three weeks now.

I've also begun having difficulties sleeping at night. I am tired, exhausted and ready for nap all the time, but the headache pain and now pressure in my head when I am laying down keeps me wide awake for hours. Tuesday night was the worst keeping me awake until after 4:00am! My alarm rang at 7:00am so that I could get the kids up and ready for school. I had to be up at 5:45 this morning for work, but I laid in bed unable to sleep until after midnight. The pressure is like sharp fingers pushing through my skull in the middle of my forehead and above my ears. Aaargh!

In happier news, we now have a "new" van. It is a 1996 Ford Windstar mini-van. The exterior is green, the interior a beige kind of colour. It seats seven with captain's chairs in the middle, and it has a CD player! It is clean and has been well maintained with an impeccable folder full of records and receipts! It even came with a set of new winter tires on rims. We picked it up last Monday night. The Aerostar had a truck chassis which the Windstar does not have, so it feels and drives very differently, but we're liking it.

It looks like we will continue to be a busy family. Everything is starting up again and plates are rapidly filling up.

Sam has had two hockey evaluation times already with another one tomorrow afternoon. It's a little disappointing to have learned that many of the players from his team last year will be playing rep this year, but all we are hoping for is a decent coach. Last year's team was amazing and I don't think that year will ever be replicated again; however, I am extremely glad that Sam had the opportunity to play with such great kids and to be taught by an amazing set of coaches. Last year was like a fairy-tale year for him. Hopefully, this year will be a good one, too.

Sam is also hoping to play ball hockey on Friday nights but that will depend upon his hockey schedule. He is also doing cross-country running at school, although he missed the first race because his knee has been giving him some trouble. Growing pains maybe? He took part in the second race but found it harder than he expected. Of course, being in grade 9 now, he also has to run nearly twice the distance!

Casey is also doing ball hockey (Monday nights) and cross-country running. He did very well in the first race with a time of 18:53 finishing in sixth place for grade 7 boys and about 19th overall. The distance was roughly 4km. I don't know his results for the second race, but he seems to be enjoying everything and finding many reasons to gloat over his brother. Casey has also begun volleyball at school which means fitting after school practices/games in with cross-country running practices/races and ball hockey and youth group!

Both boys are in junior high youth group this year which happens on Wednesday evenings for the most part.

Abby isn't as involved as the boys are which is perfectly fine by me, but she makes up for it in her social life. She is involved in Xplore at church which is a music/drama/crafts program. She spends a lot of time on the phone or playing with her friends from school.

Kane has been working on the renovations as often as he can. Most of the drywall has been installed, taped, mudded and sanded. I believe that he is ready to start painting. There is still a bit of electrical work to be done and the plumbing and venting also. Little by little, things are getting done.

I have been working, sleeping, applying ice and/or heat, eating ibuprofren like candy, reading, watching TV, tossing and turning, running to appointments, and basically doing as little as possible. What I haven't been doing is: scrapbooking, finishing off my big "to-do" list that I never did quite finish before the accident, washing dishes, scrubbing the tub, yard work, jogging, or any activity which requires a lot of effort or flexibility.

And I know that it is time to wrap this post up because my fingers keep hitting the wrong keys and I can't ignore them but have to go back and fix everything that I can, or at least the stuff that I can "remember" as being wrong.

So this will be disjointed and kind of random but such are the paths of my life these days...

1. Our van has officially been written off by ICBC. We kind of expected that and weren't too surprised with what they offered us, but we're hoping to get a little bit more.
2. I have mixed feelings about the loss of our van. It is exciting to get something *new*, but finding a vehicle that fits our needs and our budget is stressful and rather a hassle. Our van was in good shape and we had no plans to replace it in the near future. Instead, it has been ripped from our lives and we never really got to say good-bye. Silly, I know.
3. Kane and I spent a large portion of today searching for vans. We struck out at all the used car dealerships but found a promising van via the classified ads. We both really like this van even though it is a little more than what ICBC is offering at this point, but we could be prepared to come up with the difference. We're planning on taking this van to a mechanic for an inspection on Monday, but it is in far better condition than most of the others we saw today and the price is fantastic for the year and condition. I'm trying not to get too excited, but I am hopeful.
4. I used the last of my prescription anti-inflammatories this morning. :o( I don't know why I feel kind of bummed about it; I generally prefer to avoid taking medications and the anti-inflammatory didn't even begin to touch my headache. But, my neck is feeling better every day!
5. I haven't been sleeping well at night since Tuesday. The massage therapist said I should sleep on my back rather than my side because of muscle stiffness and limited range of motion in my shoulder, particularly the right one which is the side that I favour. There is a reason that I sleep on my side and that is because it is the way that I sleep the best! I cannot fall asleep on my back and, when I wind up on my back during the night, I wake up with a sore lower back. Still, I've been trying to listen and be obedient but I need more sleep!
6. I'm still napping every day which is quite out of character for me, but I guess that's what happens after being in an accident and having your head shaken rather than stirred. What will I do when I return to work on Wednesday? I won't have time for anymore naps...
7. All that housework and extra cleaning I did before the accident has fallen into a state of chaos. What would this family do if I were seriously hurt? Kane's made an effort but still...you'd never know that I did have the house fairly clean and organized. So frustrating.
8. Everything seems to be starting up this coming week. Casey has ball hockey. Sam and Casey have cross-country running practices and their first race. Abby has her church music program. Youth group must be starting soon, maybe this week...good thing we're going to church tomorrow! We heard that hockey evaluations should be happening this weekend which means Sam needs to see whether his gear still fits. Yikes! There's a parent meeting at the school regarding the laptop program. Casey has a dentist appointment to make up for the one we missed when we were rear-ended. I have a doctor's appointment and three massage appointments. I work Wednesday through Saturday. We have to take care of inspecting this potential van and dealing with ICBC. And I will probably want nothing more than to crawl into bed with some extra strength ibuprofen.
9. I have an AGM report newsletter to prepare for our baseball association, but I've only received one submission so far and the deadline was supposed to be yesterday. Another thing on my plate...
10. School fees are ridiculously expensive! Just for the boys, including 2 yearbooks and a somewhat mandatory laptop backpack, I paid $215 and still had to buy school supplies and gym shoes! I paid $37 for Abby's fees and that included almost all of her supplies!
11. There is very little worth watching on TV on weekdays. I don't watch soap operas, and I dislike most game shows. I enjoy some cooking shows and some shows on HGTV, but those shows tend to repeat through the day. None of the interesting sports are on in the morning or early afternoon, and half the movies are ones I've seen a million times or have no interest in seeing. When you spend most of your day laying on the sofa for a week, it would be nice to find something exciting to watch. I've done a lot of reading but can only do so much of that.
12. The boys are going golfing tomorrow with grandma and grandpa. Sam thinks that he will own the course.
13. We went to watch the Rockets exhibition game tonight on the spur of the moment. Sam was already going with a friend. We got great seats and enjoyed the evening.

Crash

Casey and I were headed to the dentist around 4:40pm on Thursday, September 6. He had an appointment for 5pm. We were heading south on Glenmore Drive. Immediately after crossing the Glenmore/Bernard/Spall intersection, we had to stop behind the backed up rush hour traffic. There hadn't been any vehicle directly behind me while I had been driving. We stopped and I soon noticed a red truck pulling a trailer speeding toward me in my rear view mirror. I knew in a heartbeat that we were going to be hit, and boy were we hit!



I don't believe the other driver had enough time to slow down and, in my opinion, he didn't. We were hit hard and pushed into the vehicle in front of us. I heard the crunch of metal and the shatter of glass and in an instant my head and neck were hurting. Casey was freaked out, crying and also complaining about his head. I didn't cry right away. Despite my uncontrollable shaking, I managed to drive the van out of the way of traffic and find my license and registration for the police officer who was on the scene immediately. He was the car in front of the car I was pushed into.
There wasn't any visible damage that I could see to the car in front of me; however, I did lose my front license plate and managed to lose all my anti-freeze making the van undriveable. Casey calmed down quickly enough, but I would be shaking for quite some time. It took a while before I even noticed all the damage to my van. The captain's seat directly behind mine was lying askew ripped from its' anchor. Both front seats were permanently reclined. I didn't notice some damage until Kane and I went to the tow yard on Saturday.

We're still waiting to hear from ICBC, but we expect the van to be written off. The driver's side has a lot of buckling all the way up to my door. The rear hatch has tears in several places as well as the dents. The radiator, the seats, the rear window, the bumpers...it was rather surreal to walk around the van at the yard, touching the dents and seeing the damage after the adrenaline and emotion had drained away.

Casey seems to be fine. He repeatedly tells me that he's perfectly okay, but once in a while he will admit to having a slight headache. He's a kid though and much too busy to be slowed down. I'm doing okay considering how hard we must have been hit. Strangely, the airbag didn't go off and we didn't hit our heads on the dashboard. My neck is still stiff and sore, but I am finding it easier to lift my head up from the pillow now. I couldn't do that Thursday night or even Friday. My head still hurts, especially when I am in a vertical position rather than horizontal. I went with Kane to the doctor on Saturday. He had to get his stitches removed and he wanted me to be looked at again. The doctor I saw Thursday night was fine but wasn't willing to commit to drugs or time off work. He gave me the option to come back in a day or two if I needed those things which was nice but frustrating. We saw a different doctor on Saturday and he was much better. I've seen him before and found him to be more thorough than some of the other doctors at our clinic. Neither doctor believes that I have any pinched nerves which is good. However, this doctor did prescribe me an anti-flammatory and a muscle relaxant and gave me a referral for massage and a note excusing me from work up to and including the 17th. He also had me book an appointment for follow-up on the 17th.

Basically, I think that I could go to work and carry on with life as if everything was normal, but I know that I would feel like crap by the end of the day. My headache has increased in the few minutes that I've been sitting here typing this blog, and it will be time for me to crawl back into my nest on the futon. I've also been sleeping a lot, even without the muscle relaxant. It's all for the best, I'm sure.

So, we play the waiting game now. What will ICBC say about the van? If they write it off, how much will they offer us?




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Sunday

Edited on Monday

Yeah, it's another boring housework post, but I need to update my progress if even just to keep me motivated.

-clean linen closet (done)
-dust living room (done), dining room (done), master bedroom, bathroom (done), computer desk (done), framed photos (done)/art on the walls (done)
-clean inside the fridge
-clean outside of fridge, top to bottom (done)
-wash the shower curtain (done)
-mop kitchen, hall, stairs, bathroom, and all three bedrooms
-clean the tub and all the bathroom tiles (done)
-wash light fixtures in all rooms (dining room done)
-wash fingerprints off of walls and door jambs in all rooms
-clean all the windows (done)
-wash the futon cover (done)
-mend my quilts
-if I get that mending done, wash the quilts
-re-organize/purge bookshelves (done)
-wipe out inside of all kitchen and bathroom cupboards (done half of the kitchen)
-wash cupboard fronts in bathroom and kitchen
-clean, purge and organize kitchen (done) & bathroom drawers (done)
-dust cobwebs from all corners of ceilings (done)
-scrub bathroom ceiling with bleach to kill/remove mould
-take glass jars to recycling depot
-take empty beverage containers to bottle depot
-organize/purge storage room under the stairs
-clean, purge and sort laundry room cupboards
-clean outside of washer and dryer
-sort and organize pantry (done)
-pack summer clothes
-purge Abby's clothes (done)
-clean the carpet

I even had enough time today to bake cookies. I just finished dusting the living/dining room, and it is nearly 9:00pm. Normally, I do not do housework at this time of night, but I am motivated by the length of my 'to-do' list and the limited number of days to cross those items off.

Saturday

Kane hit his head on a hinge in his work van this morning while I was at work. Apparently, there was a lot of blood! He ended up with six or seven stitches.

I'm off work now until next Saturday! Yeah!

The kids are making tacos for supper tonight. I informed them last week that they are responsible for supper when I work on Saturdays from now on. Normally, Kane will share that responsibility with them, but he might be in a bit of pain by that time today.

I no longer need to wake up between 5-6am except for Saturdays! :o)

I'm tired.