It's Wednesday. The middle of the week. I worked a four hour shift today, which was too short to merit a break but long enough to work up a sweat and a sore back. The good news is that tomorrow is a day off! Life is busy, exhaustion arrives and never truly leaves, and my mind feels overworked...

But, there are things I want to say while I remember them. There's no real sense of order or importance; I haven't had enough caffeine to make too much sense yet.

-I love my husband. He holds my hand when we walk together. He opens the van door for me and holds doors open for me to enter first. He helps with the dishes, which is really an asset with the dishwasher out of order! He makes a great omelet, too.

-I am liking my water pik. After having my teeth cleaned a few weeks ago, on the dentist's recommendation, I bought a water pik. I hate flossing, so this gadget has become my favourite new tool. On the dental flip side though, I have become highly aware of how frequently I keep my teeth together. Not a good thing, according to my dentist. At rest, your teeth should not touch! I suppose that this new awareness is a good thing, but it is seriously affecting my sleep patterns. Even in my sleep, I am consciously aware of where my teeth are at now. I just want to sleep and dream about anything but my teeth.

-We watched When a Stranger Calls last night. (no baseball!) It wasn't really what I would have liked to watch, but the selection at the video store was rather lacking. The movie was alright, predictable though, and just suspenseful enough to keep the adrenaline coursing through my body. In the end though, it was just another formula movie with scenes that make me comment on stupid characters and obvious plotlines. Maybe, if I truly were in a scary situation, I wouldn't be as sharp as I am simply observing the situation, but I highly doubt that I'd leave the safety of a house to run outside looking for help. In the dark. Through the woods. But, that's just me!

-I haven't had any time to sit and do any writing for quite a while now. Frustration! Double frustrating when there are words and phrases floating through my head with no where to go but out my ear and into space. I should, could keep a notebook and pen handy in the van or by the bed. Trouble is that the good ideas always pop in when I'm unable to take that opportunity in hand, like while I am at work. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to pause life once in a while?

-Canadian Superstore has the absolute best blueberry bagels! Trust me...they actually taste like blueberry.

Brokedown Appliance

It was bound to happen someday...our dishwasher has broken. I don't know exactly how old it is, but I do know that it has been in this house for more than fourteen years. Realistically, this dishwasher is likely about twenty years old, which raises the big question. Is it worth repairing? We don't know the answer to that. We don't even know what is wrong with the machine in the first place. It could quite easily cost as much as half the price of a new base model, but would we truly want to repair such an old appliance? New machines are more efficient and require less energy which converts to long term savings.

I guess we'll need to try and find time to do some comparison shopping. We can't afford a big, fancy dishwasher with all the bells and whistles, but I'm sure that even the machines at the cheaper end of the spectrum have different options available. It would be quite nice to have almost all of our appliances matching. We bought a new refrigerator when we moved in here in 1997; it is white. Our microwave is also white. The stove, which is probably almost as old as the dishwasher, is an almond colour. Our now defunct dishwasher is a lovely shade of gold.

In the meantime, I guess I need to be more diligent about washing dishes by hand. I have no choice really. With seven people in this house, dirty dishes pile up quickly. I hate washing dishes!! Sounds like a good time to get the kids more involved...

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

We just got home after our third baseball game in yet another tournament. Casey's team is playing in a neighbouring association's Mosquito tournament, and have we played well! So far, we are undefeated, finishing first in our pool. Tomorrow, we are guaranteed one more game, and if we win that one, we're in the championship game. It would be awesome to make it to that final game, but I am just so impressed with our team's effort. Winning is just the icing on the cake!

We froze during the game last night, but thankfully the rain held off. This morning, I looked out the window and noted the ground was wet, but despite clouds, we stayed dry again. In fact, the sun even made fools of us all. Parents showed up with layers of clothing on their backs, but it was sunny and hot by our 3pm game. I knew I should have worn capris this morning; instead, I wore jeans and a hoodie.

So, if Casey's team wins tomorrow morning, I am presented with some complications. Sam will return from his youth camping trip around 2pm and will need to be picked up from the church. No problem there; the final game starts at 3:30pm. However, Sam has his own game starting across town at 5pm, meaning he needs to be there by 4:15-4:30pm. Since Kane is Casey's coach, I would need to transport Sam to his game and miss most of Casey's. I wouldn't even have the option of dropping Sam off early and heading back to Casey's game, because Abby has a practice at 6pm. The good news is that another mom on our team has been helping scorekeep this weekend, so she should be able to do the job...assuming we make it to that final game. If we don't, then it really doesn't matter. :o)

You know, I think this is the first time that any team my kids have been on has played so well in a tournament scenario (well, Abby's tadpole team was undefeated a couple of weeks ago, but there were no play-offs in that tournament). We do have a couple of skilled ball players, but we do not have a stacked team by any stretch of the imagination. There are 3 or 4 kids on Casey's team who have never played baseball before, so Kane and I are so excited to see the development occuring and playing out on the field. That's what baseball is all about!

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

Another night of baseball, another grey and overcast day. Both Sam and Abby play ball tonight. Will we get wet, or will we stay dry?

I love the rain. I really do, but I'm ready to see some sunshine again. If we didn't have to be out at the ballpark every night, I wouldn't mind all this rain. We certainly need all the moisture, and I don't even mind being out in it once in a while; just not all the time.

It's not raining at this very moment, but the sky looks a little ominous. Even if it were to start raining, we'd still likely be playing. Sam played in pouring rain Monday night. Anyone sliding into home plate would have needed a snorkel and flippers.

A Long, Long Weekend

It has been a long weekend, and not just because it is a holiday long weekend. Our baseball association hosts a Mosquito tournament every May long weekend. So, we played, or rather, watched Casey play a lot of ball. The first two games of the tournament Saturday morning were delayed on account of heavy rain. After pumping out puddles and a lot of raking, we played our first game in the rain. The rain stopped shortly before our second game of the day, and the sun came out to play.

Sunday was hot and sunny. I tried to stay out of the sun. Really, I did, but I wound up sunburned on my forearms and face, nonetheless. Casey played two ballgames, and the boys won the Gamecube game they wanted in the silent auction.

We had only one game this morning, and the rain was back. Thankfully, it was only a drizzle which came and went and came and went. We weren't back home until about 3:00pm, and I went to work on a late lunch/early supper. We ate, we watched TV, Kane napped, and Sam practiced trombone. Now, Kane and the boys are at Sam's ballgame. Abby is in the bathtub, and here I am.

I really hate missing my kids' games, but Abby didn't want to go, and she needed a bath. As much as I want to watch my son play, I am exhausted. I've reached the point in this crazy baseball season where I can't keep track of the days anymore. Is it the 19th or the 20th? I'm a day behind most of the time now; it's a good thing I keep my daytimer in perfect running order! What would we do without it?!

Tonight is the season finale for 24. Will Jack save the world again? Of course, he will. The bigger question is will I be able to keep my eyes open while he does it.

A Driveway with a View

I needed to use up the last couple shots in the camera, so I stood at the end of my driveway and snapped this one. I'll never get tired of the beauty of God's creation.



This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike2.5 Canada License.

Tadpole Tournament

Mother's Day weekend is traditionally the Tadpole baseball tournament, and this year was no exception. The weather was hot and sunny. Abby has been practicing her cartwheels for the past couple of weeks and took advantage of the big grassy park before a game.
















For the first time in RMBA history, or so we've been told, we had an all-girl infield! Abby played shortstop that inning and is stopping the ball in the photo.














Here's Abby up to bat. She has been hitting very well so far this season, even hitting a double in a regular game Monday night.





This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike2.5 Canada License.

Keep Moving or Drop

I won't write about yesterday and spilling tea and chili and wanting to slap a co-worker. Instead, I am going to talk about today.

"Don't be fooled by the calendar. There are only so many days in the year as you make use of."
Charles Richards

It is a day off, although my boss has called three times and left a message on my voice mail twice. He probably also tried to call me on my cell phone. Persistent fellow, but I've got call display! In one of the messages, he asked if I could work on Thursday. I can do that; just not today, please.

It is now 11:00am, and I've been busy. The last load of laundry is in the dryer, the dishwasher is waiting to be unloaded and clean dishes are drying on the dishrack. I have a couple of loaves of banana bread just about ready to come out of the oven, I've swept the floors and tidied the living room.

My stomach is telling me it's time to eat lunch before I do anything else. I'm entertaining thoughts of baking some muffins yet today; there are still some ripe bananas to use up. Then, the rest of the afternoon is free to relax...mostly. Supper needs to be ready very early today, but it can still wait until the kids are finished school.

Abby has a ballgame tonight across the dreaded bridge. This will be her fifth straight day of baseball, and I will need to wash her uniform tomorrow as she has team photos. Casey has team photos tonight, and Sam's are tomorrow before his game.

A nap is sounding more enticing by the minute...

Mothers

"The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one."
-Jill Churchill


Mother's Day is rapidly approaching. For me, it just wouldn't be Mother's Day without a baseball tournament to attend and so, we'll be spending several hours at the ballpark for Abby's mid-season tournament. I think I'll keep Casey away from the bleachers this Mother's Day; I don't need a broken tooth for a gift. We typically don't really do much for this special day or Father's Day. The kids might make something at school or the opposite parent will remind them to make one at home the night before. Sometimes, there might even be a small gift, but we really just keep things low-key.

Still, it is nice to feel appreciated, at least for one day. While I know my family loves and appreciates me, it is easy to feel lost beneath the piles of laundry and dirty dishes or to feel squished between errands, appointments, and this activity or that one. Moms do a lot, we put up with a lot, and we give a lot. Sometimes, what we receive in return just doesn't seem to add up correctly. But, as I keep telling my husband, it's the little things that matter most. Flowers are lovely, but I'd be thrilled if the kids (and 'big kid') picked up after themselves. An expensive gift prettily wrapped is nice, but nothing warms my heart as much as hearing my kids say that they love me. Being taken out for dinner is a treat, but I would just as soon see my husband and kids make the effort to put a meal together for me at home. It doesn't need to be gourmet or perfect. It's the thought and effort behind it that count.

And just like that one of my sons snarks at me, and I am irritated. He thinks that life is so unfair. Well son, it is unfair. Deal with it. He can pout and growl at me all he wants; he'll still want me to tuck him into bed tonight, and I'll still love to do it.

Angela and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

Yesterday was not a good day. Not completely anyway. The sun was shining, and it was much warmer; we didn't freeze at baseball last night. I got a bit of tidying done, including vacuuming. I made puffed wheat squares which don't hold together the way I remember them as a kid. So, those were the positives.

Maybe the day wasn't really terrible and horrible, but I sure was in a snarky mood! I've been frustrated for several days over a problem with our baseball website. The timing is terrible; we're in the midst of our season, and the problem was within a program that is used frequently. At last, it looked like everything was back to normal yesterday...until I went to make some changes. It works, but it's still not where I need it to be, and I don't know how to fix it.

Of course, being home all day yesterday left me with plenty of time to stew over my problems with Sam's ball team. It still bothers me, but I'm not feeling quite so close to the boiling point today.

The other day, I had washed a pink t-shirt of mine along with some other clothes. I was surprised to see a rather large blotchy stain on the front when I put it on yesterday. Where it came from I don't know. It certainly wasn't there when I put it in the wash. I did laundry yesterday, too, so I washed the shirt again, spraying it with stain remover. After the wash cycle, I pulled it out for a visual inspection. Not only was that stain still there, but there were more! Lots more...all over the place, and nothing wrong with all the other clothes in that load. More stain remover and another wash cycle made no difference to the shirt, but I was quite irritated. The shirt is ruined, and I didn't spill a drop on it. I'm still fuming about that.

While driving to pick Sam up from school, a wonderful lady in a white SUV cut me off. "Cut me off" might not be an accurate description. A vehicle was stopped on the side of the road in my lane, I had enough time to change lanes comfortably, so I shoulder checked and signaled. The white SUV was directly behind me and began to signal a lane change at the same time as I did. There was enough space between us to allow us both to change lanes, but this driver decided it wasn't good enough to be behind me. She greatly increased her speed so much that I was forced to cut back into my lane to avoid a collision. Then, she whipped right past me. I confess I let loose a few words that I typically don't say. Stupid idiot! And no, those aren't the words I was talking about.

I received an email last night regarding a baseball tournament and the need to find parent volunteers for a whack of things. Okay, no problem, except the email listed time slots to be filled by each team without mention of which team we were. I assumed we were the same number as we normally are, but no. When I asked then for clarification as to what number we were, instead of being told the answer, I was told that information would come with our tournament package. Yeah, okay, then why send out these emails in a panic and a huff with a rapidly approaching deadline to have the volunteers in place when you haven't given out the package yet?! Or, should I add mind reader to my list of abilities?

See how snarky I was?

On our way to baseball last night, I realized that I had forgotten to bring some photos for a parent that I've been holding onto for a month or so now.

Also on the way to baseball, we went through a Tim Horton's drive-thru for a cafe mocha for Kane, a French vanilla smoothee for me, and a box of timbits. As we pulled away, I opened the box eagerly anticipating a honey cruller timbit with my name on it. Wrong. There wasn't a single honey cruller timbit; proof that this just wasn't my day.

And now it is a new day, full of wondrous possibilities. Right? Yeah sure.

"If you follow every dream, you might get lost."

Ironically, this is a line from a song playing on my CD player at this very moment. It's actually not a bad song, but I can't help but find that line rather amusing in a warped kind of way.

Back to today...let's see. I had thought I might bake, but now I'm thinking I'm too lazy for that today. There's no pressing housework until after school when I need to get supper going. There are no errands to run-thank goodness! There is Diet Coke black cherry vanilla in my fridge calling my name. Resistance is futile. Maybe I'll scrapbook or read or start a puzzle...could I fit a nap in there? So many possibilities, so little time.

Mad Dogs Drool

Time to put on my mother bear face and let loose a few growls...simply because if I don't, I might implode.

I love sports. I love watching my kids play sports, but I absolutely hate the politics of sports. There is no escaping it; it's everywhere.

Sam really wanted to make the peewee 'AA' baseball team this year. We knew that he was certainly capable, but we know that he isn't the best ball player in his age group. He made one of the two 'AA' teams. He's happy. We're happy. Right? Yes and no.

I don't want to be a whiny parent. I don't want to be the type of parent who pushes her child for my own glory or benefit. However, I get so frustrated watching a game and seeing favouritism and unfairness and politics. So what if this is a 'AA' team! It is still a house league, not All-Star, not the major leagues. House!

I've watched Sam sit on the bench for at least one, often two innings every game. There are only 11 players on the team, they field 9 players, and they play 5 to 7 innings. It's going to happen that some players sit every game, even a player or two sitting twice, but why the same kid every game? Has Sam been playing horribly? Made lots of errors? Nope. Quite the opposite really. The coaches' kids and the "star" players have made so many errors in the past few games it makes my head spin.

Besides sitting two innings, Sam has also seemingly been relegated to the outfield with the occasional turn at second base. I haven't heard Sam complain about this yet, but I know that he is disappointed. He's got quick hands and loves the infield. He wants to pitch. He loves being the catcher or first base. It's just not happening.

Also, the coach has mentioned that his batting line up is based on batting performance. Fine. Sam has been the last batter for a few games now, too. He hadn't been doing well at bat before, but he did just fine on Sunday; on base every time with walks and singles. Where was he on the line up last night? Last again. He also was on base every at bat last night, so we'll wait and see where he bats on Wednesday.

Honestly, I don't care where Sam falls in the batting line up. He gets to bat. Whether he's in the top four, middle or bottom is irrelevant. As long as he gets on base and generates offense, batting order really doesn't make a difference. He's always been a consistent batter. I think most of his struggles up until now have arisen from being told to bunt when he wasn't comfortable doing that and simply needing a boost of confidence in the batter's box. I took him into the batting cage Saturday morning before his game and worked on bunting specifically but also just connecting with the ball. He did very well in the batting cage, and I believe it was the boost he needed for his confidence. He hasn't struck out since.

I had to leave the game early last night. Kane stayed to watch the final few innings. After the game, he talked to one of the coaches about these issues that we've been feeling, but he worded them in such a way as to not be critical. He asked why Sam is always sitting two innings and what Sam could work on in order to be able to play other positions. The response...well, the line up tonight was a rush job, we really wanted to win this game, Sam's playing better, blah, blah, blah.

I'll apologize now, but that was a crap answer. How could the line up be rushed or pieced together when it is the same line up that you play every game? Of course we wanted to win that game, but what does that have to do with playing kids fairly? I'm sure you want to win every game, but you still have 11 players on the team. Sam's playing better?! I know he's not the fastest runner, he doesn't have the hardest throw or the biggest hits, but just how bad do they think he was playing? Other players have made so many silly, careless errors. Sam hasn't yet. He will at some point because everyone does sooner or later. Sam's not the only player to have not batted well. Until Sunday, our team as a whole had no offense. I don't know...I guess I just find that comment rather insulting. Well actually, I found the whole response insulting.

One player was dropped from the team just prior to last weekend and replaced with a player from a 'A' team. It wasn't a surprise to us as we had heard rumblings for a while about how this player really shouldn't have made 'AA' to begin with. Gee, hmmm...isn't our coach the director for peewee? Isn't that why there are evaluations before the season starts so you can assess a player's abilities? Personally, I don't like cutting a player once he's made a team and played several games with the team. It stinks.

So, I wonder where Sam will play on Wednesday. Will he be in a new position because Kane stirred the pot? Or will he still be sitting, field and second base? If Sam was playing poorly, we'd understand this better. Kane told the coach this, too. But, we're just not seeing Sam play any more poorly than anyone else.

So what is it?

Try It, You'll Like It!

Sam is such a fussy eater. When it comes to food, he is quite particular about what he likes or does not like based on texture, appearance, taste, and of course, everything needs to line up with his mental list of food rules. It can't be too "wet". Two separate items cannot touch on his plate. He loves cheese but won't eat a cheeseburger. And so it goes.

I'm not the kind of parent who forces her children to eat everything that is prepared for a meal. I have vivid memories of gagging down liver drowned in ketchup. I was required to eat a stuffed mushroom cap for my 16th birthday, even though I absolutely detest mushrooms. I seem to remember being required to try calamari when my parents took me out for dinner for my graduation. I've been pulled kicking and screaming down that road, and I hated it. So, I can understand that there are foods that my kids will not like and will refuse to eat. No problem. However, I do encourage the kids to try new foods, because you never know whether you'll like it unless you first try it. Right? Also, there are some foods that my kids often "have" to eat, at least a little bit of, because they do have to eat some a healthy variety of food. I don't particularly care for green peppers or onions, but I will eat them if they are in a dish.

Casey and Abby can be picky, but they are more willing to try something once. Sam is more stubborn, rarely even willing to take a little taste. He can rarely even be bribed to try something new! He's the same way with medicine. He'd rather suffer with a sore throat, a cough or a headache than take something to help alleviate the symptoms.

On Sunday, on our way to baseball, Kane and I stopped for some drinks from the Blenz coffee shop in our neighbourhood. Kane had a strawberry fruitchillo, while I decided to try their matcha green tea chillo. I was intrigued by this green tea drink, but also a little nervous. I'm not really a tea drinker; in fact, I've never even tried green tea, hot or cold. But, I tried it, and it was okay, good enough that I would possibly order it again. Of course, Abby wanted a taste, and Casey wanted a taste. Both liked it. I offered a taste to Sam, who was naturally reluctant. I pushed it, and he relented.

"Okay," he said, "The next time we go to that coffee shop, I want one of those okay!"

This morning, Sam was complaining of a stuffy nose. Gee Sam, I've been offering you allergy medicine for a couple of weeks now! Again, he began to resist, but I think he was suffering just enough to keep that door ajar. I showed him the bottle, reminded him that he had taken some of the exact same stuff last year after being stung by a wasp and not complained about the taste. He relented.

Guess what! He liked it.

You know, kids, this is why moms always tell you to try something new before forming an opinion!

Caught in a Secret

While at work yesterday, I served a mom from Sam's hockey team. She has recently created a local magazine for the 'boomer' generation, at least I think that is the correct generational label. All I know for sure is that this magazine is aimed towards people older than I am.

As I served this woman, she mentioned that Kane had let her in on a little secret. Clueless, I smiled and asked what secret that might be. I wasn't aware of any secrets that Kane might be passing along. It seems that Kane told this woman that I write poetry, and perhaps I might be interested in submitting some for her magazine sometime.

Oh, he told you that, did he?

Ack! I managed to make her extra large double double, while internal panic alarms flashed and buzzed.

Sure, maybe I could do that someday. Polite smile.

It isn't that I don't want to share my writing; it's that the thought terrifies me! I'm getting better, more willing to open my hands and let my heart go, but it isn't easy to do. Maybe it is just one of those things that will always produce equally strong yet equally opposite reactions within me. I'd love to be "published", but that outcome isn't something that drives me to write. I think it would be great to have my work "out there", yet with that comes rejection and criticism. I'm familiar with both and know that there is a time, place and purpose for them, but they still sting.

But, even as I continue to feel like a deer caught in the glare of headlights, I've also begun to entertain the possibility. Just maybe.