It's Crystal's Fault

I have been hooked on journaling since June 1990, when a dear friend gave me a journal as a graduation gift. That would be the red journal at the bottom of the stack. Nineteen and a half years and more than a dozen journals later, I am still putting my thoughts, heart and soul onto paper. Some entries are fluffy, while others are whiny, and yet others are the ramblings of a broken heart. The words written within those pages might not interest most people, nor will they win me any awards, but I find the entire process of writing and re-reading my own life story very rewarding.

I am always excited to start fresh in a new journal. Choosing a new journal can be a challenge. I am too reluctant to spend lots of money on a fancy book with leather cover, but I still want my journal to have some character. My newly purchased journal is sitting on the top of the stack, and I cannot wait to open to the first page and put pen to paper.





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O Christmas Tree

The tree is up and decorated, looking lovely now that we have wrestled and struggled and figured and spent more money! It seems that the plastic tree stand that I bought last year, to replace our lovely, old and rusted iron stand, was simply more hassle than it was supportive. After numerous attempts last night and a trip to Home Depot for washers and shims, we still had a tree that was ever attempting to topple over. So, we took it in the wallet and found a new stand this morning.

It is not the lovely iron sort that I hoped to find, and it was more money than Kane wanted to spend on a replacement item. In the end though, I think it was money well-spent. After all, a good tree stand will last for years and years, so if it lasts us even only 5 years, then it is only costing us $8.00 a year!

And you know, as much as esthetically I wanted an iron stand, this one is absolutely perfect! It was a breeze to assemble (and it can be easily taken apart and tucked into the box!), and there are no irritating screws to turn endlessly and hopelessly, as you dig into the tree trunk in a vain effort to effectively anchor the tree. Easy-peasy, done! I love it.

So, we had an adventure with the tree this Christmas. It isn't easy to keep fiddling with the stand or even to completely change stands when the tree is completely decorated, but we did it. The tree is upright, not leaning like the Tower of Pisa, and there isn't even a hint that tipping is in its' future.

If anyone wants a green plastic Christmas tree stand, then I have got one for you! Only used for last Christmas and about 18 hours this year.

Did It!

Not only did I manage to blog every day for the entire month of November, but I also managed to figure out how to put a NaBloPoMo badge on my blog! Yeah me! (And isn't it just the cutest! In a dark side kind of way.)

In all the years that I have been blogging, I have never once, before now, posted so many consecutive entries. It feels amazing to have succeeded, and I found the entire process to be much easier than I had anticipated. Sure some entries were short or uninteresting to everyone but myself, but the act of forcing myself to write something every day was a wonderful stretch of the mental muscles.

The NaBloPoMo theme for December is MITZVAH. When I first saw the theme, I was stumped and decided that I just wouldn't follow the theme. What is a mitzvah anyway? All I really know is that Jewish boys celebrate a bar mitzvah and girls a bat mitzvah, but what those celebrations are is even an elusive generalization rather than concrete fact. So, I googled it.

According to Wikipedia, mitzvah means commandment and is used in Judaism to refer to the 613 commandments given in the Torah and the seven rabbinic commandments added later.

Oh joy! I'd love to blog about rules and laws and commandments...not so much! But wait-there is more.

Mitzvah has also come to express an act of human kindness.

Ah, now that is a big and juicy topic to chew on for the month of December!

The End of November

Headaches suck!

And I have a major, full-blown, nasty one right now.

Thinking is too difficult in such a state, but I have my final post for the month of November. I'm in too much pain to feel much excitement about successfully posting every day for the entire month...maybe tomorrow I can cheer.

Doctor, Doctor

I did it. I called to make an appointment with my doctor, although I can't get in until December 16th. The reception did say that I was welcome to drop in and see another doctor though if I didn't want to wait that long, and such an offer is rather tempting to me.

I have a love/hate relationship with my doctor, at least on my end. My doctor is a nice guy, laid back, down to earth, and a fellow believer. In fact, we used to attend the same church, so there is a level of relationship there, even if it is quite minimal.

On the other hand, I find myself frequently frustrated with my doctor, because he seldom seems to take my ailments seriously. I don't mind not having pills pushed on me for every cough, sneeze or ache, but I do mind having real aches and pains casually dismissed.

I am not the sort of person who sees the doctor on a revolving door basis. It might not be the best practice, but I generally wait until I am desperate before going to see the doctor, any doctor, not just this one. So, if I go to the doctor with ankle pain that has been going on for six months, please don't tell me that it is only a sprain and sprains can take six weeks to heal! There is a bit of a difference between six weeks and six months, and I think I can figure that out on my own. He didn't even touch my ankle! I waited forever in the waiting room only to be quickly "seen" and told to rest and ice my "sprained" ankle. I figured out on my own that what I needed was a new pair of shoes for work...no more pain! Now why couldn't my doctor take a couple of minutes to take my concern seriously and maybe think outside the box to find the reason for the pain?

Such is only one experience, but it illustrates so clearly why I am reluctant to see my doctor unless I am nearly on death's door. But I have questions and concerns that I would like answers for, and I will never truly know unless I ask. It just sucks that I have to ask my doctor.

I made an appointment with my doctor, because I assumed that the clinic doctors would prefer I see my own doctor since this isn't a desperate situation. Call me a coward for not wanting to discuss this with my doctor, but I really do feel it is easier to see one of the clinic doctors instead. I just might take the receptionist up on her offer to drop in this week.

It could all be nothing, at least nothing but getting older, but I have been wondering about hormones and thyroid issues. I have headaches very often, and I attribute that to being rear-ended two years ago, but it could be something more. I am tired all the time, even after a solid, good night's sleep! My motivation and energy are frequently lacking or easily zapped. I lose a lot of hair on a daily basis. It's not noticeably thin, but I don't know if it is normal to lose that much. Some of my hair is becoming quite coarse, and I have dark facial hair growing on my chin and jaw. My cycle used to be like clockwork but has been rather wonky for the past couple of years. My weight has been slowly creeping upward and nothing I do brings it back down. Quite often my mind seems a little fuzzy, and I seem to forget minor details more often than normal.

It could be nothing! And part of me is afraid that it really is nothing but a normal part of aging. I certainly don't want to waste my time or the doctor's time on something that is nothing, but it would be nice to know whether this is normal or not. Some of my "symptoms" can point towards hypothyroidism just as easily as they could point towards the fact that I am not so young anymore. I just want to know.

A Good Day

Today was one of those days when virtually everything goes the way it should, and days like that simply do not happen all that often, especially at work, which is where my wonderful day occurred! It feels strange to say that work was so great today in light of how terrible the environment has been there lately, but it was a super sweet day.

Nobody called in sick. Everyone showed up for their shift on time. There was no boss to get in the way and ruffle feathers. The usual Saturday morning manager had the day off, which meant that my stress load was reduced as I didn't need to pick up her slack. The day started off slow, as far as customers go, but it soon picked up and was actually a busier day than it seemed to be. Breaks and chores were done in a timely fashion.

Now if only every day was so good!

Welcome to the Jungle

I really enjoyed my three days off work. I accomplished a fair bit: lots of baking, some cleaning, crafts. It was so good!

Then today I had to work, and it was not so good. Apparently, work has not been a nice place all week long. I am glad to have missed the worst of it! Today was somewhat more mellow than the previous days; however, there was no joy in going to work, only dread. There was also little joy to be found in the work itself, and that truly bothers me.

Most of the time I am relatively protected from the drama and turmoil that tends to break out amongst the full-time staff, mainly because I seldom do anything to put myself between the cross-hairs. But storms cause a lot of damage, even to areas not directly in their paths, and so it is with metaphorical storms! I might not take a direct hit, but I am still pelted by flying debris as I struggle to move against the wind.

There are a lot of metaphors which would apply for my workplace these days...storm, jungle, day-care/preschool, hell...you get the idea. Nobody wants to be there. Nobody.

And yet, tomorrow will be a better day! I can say that with completely confidence only because tomorrow is Saturday. My boss is out of town. A manager has the day off. The problem employees do not work on Saturdays. I will be running the show, and I am so excited! We could end up being utterly short-staffed and crazy busy, but it will still be a better day than most working weekdays!

Bake Off

Well, my Christmas shopping list might not be dwindling, but I am making headway on the baking! Yesterday I made chocolate sugar cookies, which will be decorated with royal icing at some point in the near future. Today I am working on three different cookies: rosemary nut shortbread, white chocolate biscotti, and chocolate-pistachio biscotti. At some point I want to make my Earl Grey chocolate truffles and maybe some other cookies, too.

The sad part of it all, or the good part depending on the point of view, is that I am doing all this baking, and it is not even for my cookie exchange in a couple of weeks, the baking needed for Abby's class Christmas party, or for the two dozen cookies I promised to provide for Abby's drama production in mid-December! There is still lots of baking in my future! I have not done so much holiday baking for years.

And it isn't just the quantity that boggles my mind! I am also baking things that I tend to avoid, like rolled cookies. I've never even made royal icing before, but now I am planning on doing exactly that to decorate the rolled cookies already made and the ones I still plan on making. Rosemary nut shortbread? Sounds a little gourmet for my normal baking habits, but it sounds delicious and easy. How could I resist? Although the price of pine nuts is almost enough to swear me off that recipe for the rest of my life! The same goes for the pistachios, too.

But, they'll all taste good!

Bump, Set, Spike, or Something Like That

These photos are from a couple of weeks ago, when Abby's grade 6 "team" played volleyball against another elementary school. From a spectator's point of view, the games were entertaining, although not on the same level as watching Casey's grade 9 team play, but fun, nonetheless. There is something about watching young kids just learning a game that warms the heart in all the right places, even if you feel like cringing.

This afternoon is another game at another school. I sure wish the girls had some home games, but somehow the boys team seems to have snagged them all.

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Self-Portrait

I hate having my picture taken. Really. I do.

The problem is that my self-image is weak and my insecurities strong. However, there are moments, here and there, where I feel like I belong in this skin, and I am comfortable. Those moments are rare, but that feeling of knowing exactly who I am is a powerful one. I like it.

And so I am challenging myself to find more of those 'Ta-Da!' moments when everything is perfectly aligned within me. I am challenging myself to drop some of the masks that I hide behind, to show the real me. It is time to step in front of the camera.

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The Final Countdown

It is one month until Casey's 14th birthday and very nearly one month until Christmas! I feel so incredibly unprepared.

Ideally, I like to plan ahead, make my lists and work on tucking away gifts in advance, but I have found my response time slowing down over the past few years. Whether or not this is the furthest behind I've ever been, I do not know, but it feels as if I am so far behind that I am almost back at last Christmas!

Of course, perception is typically a lot more frightening than reality, just like objects appear closer in the side mirrors! Sure, I have a lot to do before the big day, but I am further out of the starting gate than I give myself credit for. I do have a couple of gifts tucked away, and I have just about completed my gifts for my friends. Still...

A couple of gifts tucked away is a far cry from what I actually need to get! Christmas cards need to be made and written in and mailed. Decorations need to be dragged out of storage and space found for the tree. Oh, and baking!

I guess I had better get started on my lists!

Dutch Blitz

Since September, Sunday nights have been Family Fun Nights at the Thompson house. I came up the plan as a way to keep our family connected in a fun, easy-going manner. With the kids getting older, and busier, quality family time sometimes feels elusive or, at best, a struggle to fit into the crowded schedule. Sunday nights are the one night of the week that is mostly free, and so we began a new tradition.

I expected some resistance. Abby was keen on the idea as I knew that she would be. The boys grumbled and whined just a little that first Sunday night, but they were soon caught up in the fun of playing a card game together. And the kids have never looked back! In fact, I would go so far as to say that the kids look forward to Family Night, and the prospect of cleaning the kitchen together after supper before playing our games doesn't even phase them overly much. Okay, so they might not be loving the clean up part of the night, but I figure that the family that plays together can also clean together, at least for 10 minutes one night a week!

We have done a variety of things on our Sunday nights. We have played board games and card games. We played games together on the Wii. We went to the EnergyPlex.

Since we began our Family Nights, I have been eager to find a Dutch Blitz card game. I looked at Toys 'R Us and Wal-Mart and a couple other game type stores with no success. Until today! Yeah!

I grew up playing Dutch Blitz and was eager to teach it to my kids, so tonight we played it. It was so much fun. Casey wound up being the ultimate winner at the end of the night, but we all had moments of success and humiliating failure.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike2.5 Canada License.

Charlie Brown's Christmas

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Frantic Friday

I have been dreading this day all week, simply because it is jam-packed with little room for breathing, and I don't really like days like that too much.

Here is what the day looks like:

6:30am-alarm rings (waaaay too early, but it had to be done)
-wake up Abby and Sam, let Casey sleep for another half hour
7:00am-apply heavy make-up to Abby's face and make sure she has everything she needs for the day
7:05 ish-Kane leaves with Sam and Abby
-first stop Tim Horton's for a coffee, then to drop Sam off at his school for an early band rehearsal, and then to drop Abby off at the community theatre for her school dress rehearsal
7:30is-the phone rings. It is my boss asking if I can come in to work at 8:30 instead of at 10am. I agree. Reluctantly.
7:55am-Casey leaves for school.
8:00am-I leave for work.
2:00pm-I finished work and stopped at IGA for more milk (the third gallon in three days!) Before leaving work, I called Kane to ask him to pick up Sam from school, as Sam had a spare last block.
2:30ish-I arrive at home, change, chug a Diet Coke (need the caffeine), and catch up on email/Facebook/blog. Okay, so I did have a bit of breathing room in the day; it's just not enough!
4:00pm-Sam has his tennis lesson.
5:00pm-Sam is finished tennis and needs to be picked up.
6:00pm-Abby needs to be at the community theatre, in costume and make-up. Doors open for the show.
6:30pm-the first performance of Charlie Brown's Christmas presented by Abby's school with Abby playing the role of Pigpen
7:30pm-second performance with Abby in the choir this time around. Maybe I can be dropped off at home, but someone will need to pick Abby up once the show is over around 8pm.
9:00pm-hopefully I am about to tuck myself into bed, so that I can hopefully get a good night's sleep for my full work day tomorrow

Thankfully, I made a pot of lentil barley soup yesterday, and since Kane didn't get home from work until 11pm last night, there is lots of soup left to reheat for supper tonight. The kids won't eat it, but there are fixings for sandwiches.

Beginning to Look Like Christmas

I am not ready for Christmas. November is winding down, and I have barely even given Christmas shopping a moment of consideration. I am not ready. I am not yet in the mood.

Abby, on the other hand, has been thinking about Christmas since spring. She has been rehearsing for Charlie Brown's Christmas since early September, and she has even completed some of her Christmas gift shopping/making.

In a way, our two worlds will collide tomorrow with the Charlie Brown's Christmas performances. I loved watching this television classic as a child, and I love it still as an adult. It ranks right up there with the classic How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Abby will be Pigpen in the first performance and part of the choir in the second show. I will sit in the audience, taking photos and enjoying every minute of the show. I'll be reminded once more of the true meaning of Christmas, and the Charlie Brown inside of me will find a bit of joy as we head into the holiday season.

Life as an Amputee

I think about C a lot. It isn't that my thoughts are consumed by C, because they aren't. There is enough water under that bridge now, so that I can sometimes go an entire day without my thoughts drifting in her direction. It is just that I find it impossible to expunge her completely from my heart.

How does one go about that anyway? Is it even possible to erase a former best friend's existence from the very centre of what makes you YOU? When does a decade of memories cease to be remembered?

Throughout my house are little tangible reminders of the one who was once such an important part of my life.

-my very first Willow Tree figure given to me on my 30th birthday
-a little clay bowl handmade given to me one Christmas
-a diffuser with vanilla and gingerbread oils from another Christmas
-a throw blanket from a birthday
-Coca-Cola canisters given just because
-various mugs
-a group photo sitting on the bookshelf
-a memory box full of cards and notes, handwritten words of friendship and love

Even if I could box up all those objects and throw them away, I still would not be free of my memories of C. I am thankful, at least, that time softens the rough, sharp edges of pain. Sadness remains, and always questions and wondering.

Does she ever find her thoughts drifting my way, the way my thoughts drift towards her? Does she still cling to her own tangible mementos of our history, or has she tossed them away like she discarded me? Does she ever question her decisions, her actions?

Of course, I do not know the answers to those questions. I may never know, and I think I am okay with that. The past cannot be changed, and, although I may sometimes doubt myself, I don't think I would make too many changes if I could go back in time. There is a broader purpose here, even if I am at a loss to understand it. Someday I might have an "Aha!" moment, but that is not today. I do not understand how someone could completely turn her back on those who were her closest friends. Hitting a few potholes I can understand. Going through a rough patch I can understand. But this, this is something different. It is an amputation.

Amputees are said to experience phantom pains in their missing limbs. I guess I could say that phantom pains are what I am experiencing. This pain is not real. It hurts but not deeply, not anymore. There is sorrow over what has been lost and cannot be replaced, but there is also adaptation, moving on with life. I have learned to function, to live without C in my life. It doesn't feel quite right, but a casual observer would be hard-pressed to spot the difference. Maybe there is a psychological limp in my step...

Maybe, just maybe, there is a limp in C's step, too.

Sweatshop

What does it mean when I am sweating buckets after a mere half hour of rather light cleaning in Sam's room? I mean really! All I did was put a clean sheet on his bed, picked up a few clothes, threw a few things into the recycling bin or the garbage bin, and did a little shuffling around. I don't think I even broke a sweat cleaning Casey's room, and I put a lot more effort into that room! I've been sitting for ten minutes already, and I still feel overly hot and sweaty, like I just ran a marathon.

I didn't sleep well last night, so I am uber tired. There is the ever-present cough/phlegm/stuffy nose, but I don't "feel" sick. Except that my sweat glands are working overtime with so little to show for it but a sheen on my skin. Weirdness!

Sleepyhead

It figures! I have three consecutive days off and lots to do around the house, and I am so incredibly tired and unmotivated this morning. The phone rang at 5:20 AM, ripping me from a very good sleep.

It was a manager from work wondering where I left the key for the cupboard where the extra cash drawers are kept. Unfortunately for me, I think she forgot that I was not the last person to use the key, because the tills get changed again late at night. Then she asked if I wanted to work today. Uh, let me think about it in my half-asleep state of mind...no!

A return to slumber land did not come easily, and the ring of the alarm came way too soon. I feel like I have been dragging my hacking carcass around all morning, while all I want to do is veg out on the sofa with a comfy throw blanket and season 2 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I could do that, but I have things to do.

Laundry is a work in progress. I've already made a trek to Wal-Mart for milk, a few groceries, and the new Star Trek DVD. The kitchen, dining room and living room have been tidied a bit, but there is still more to be done.

Sam's room needs purging and cleaning, although I probably won't get to it today. Tomorrow. I have the brilliant (or stupid) idea to make scalloped potatoes and ham for supper, which would be super yummy and fine, except for the actual process of 'making' the scalloped potatoes. Oh, am I feeling lazy today!

I could put off some of these things for tomorrow or Thursday. Really, I could and without stressing about it overly much, but the trouble with postponement is that the result is always accumulation. Little bites are easier to swallow than big ones, or so they say, whoever 'they' are. Also, the feelings of laziness and being tired seldom evaporate so quickly. I am much more likely to wake up tomorrow just as tired as I did today, especially since I am still under the weather, so to speak.

So, I will attempt a compromise of sorts. I've got the laundry and I've done some tidying done. I'll even make the big dinner. I might even do more purging somewhere, maybe even start in Sam's room. Then, in the morning, I will finish Sam's room, and the afternoon can be for curling up in front of the TV.

Sounds like a plan!

Cough & Hack

I am tired of this cough, tired of only getting a good night's sleep with the aid of night-time cough & cold medication. The medication knocks me out, makes me loopy, and the morning "hangover" is no fun either. But on the other hand, I hate the feeling of a pound of phlegm stuck in my throat. I hate coughing so hard that my chest hurts, and I am gasping for breath. I don't like taking my own Kleenex box to work with me, but the cheap toilet paper is a little rough for frequent nose-blowing. I am keeping Neo-Citran, Kleenex, Tylenol, Strepsil and Halls in business, too. Most of all I hate being plagued by this cough, when I am otherwise hale and hearty.

Abby and I went to the big, annual craft sale today, and I must say that I came away rather disappointed. We went to the same event last year, and this year's seemed to be lacking in comparison. While I have no idea how many vendors were actually in attendance, I do know that there were a great deal less than the previous year. Even the crowd of people was significantly thinner than last year. After wandering past every table twice, I managed to spend only $7.50. Sure, there were several things that caught my eye, but in the end I would have been buying them for myself, which kind of defeats the purpose of going to a craft sale to do some Christmas shopping.

Party On

It was a pretty good day at work. I've been home for almost an hour. I've showered and prettified myself. I've even taken a few moments to relax, catch up on email and Facebook, and downed a Diet Coke. In a few minutes I am back out the door. To a birthday party for a co-worker. She is 25 today, going on 10. Seriously! But I like her, and so I am going to this party, even though it really isn't what I want to do on a Saturday night. It will be fine though.

Progress

So after posting to my blog yesterday, I decided to clean Casey's bedroom. At a glance his room was not too bad, but I knew that there was a lot of clutter lurking in nooks and crannies. I began in the closet by removing everything from the shelves and wiping out the dust. With my handy-dandy three bag system of garbage, recycling, and thrift store donations, it wasn't long before the closet was a lean, mean, organized machine! I am kind of envious, because there is still quite a bit of usable space in the closet.

I tackled the bed next. There are two drawers under the bed, so I emptied, purged and re-filled those. Plus, I also did some scoping under the bed, while I had one of the drawers pulled out from the bed. I was amazed by what I pulled out from that abyss, especially when I realized that those items could only be under the bed if they were intentionally put there. There is just no way that anything thicker than a marble can innocently lose itself under that bed! I pulled out from under the bed: a 10 lb dumbbell, a lunch bag (complete with empty juice box and two ziploc bags full of mouldy, unidentifiable food), two empty shoe boxes, several unopened juice boxes, a football, a soccer ball, and a ton of last year's school work.

I made good progress in that room yesterday, although I ran out of time and there are still a few minor details to finish. The bedding, blankets included, are being washed today. I still have to take out of a bunch of sports paraphernalia (golf balls, tennis balls, baseballs, soccer balls, footballs, tennis racket, bike helmets, bike tire pump) and put them in the shed outside. Why those things were in Casey's bedroom in the first place is beyond me!

His room looks a lot better already, and I hope that he can maintain such a state of cleanliness. Really, it shouldn't be that difficult of a task! Right?

Beautiful Day

It's a beautiful day. The sky is blue, the sun is shining, and, although it is just a little on the chilly side, it is still nice enough to be outside and enjoy.

Okay, so I am not outside enjoying the day, but that is because I am too tired and have too much to do. Today and tomorrow are days off for me, and I really want them to be mostly productive days, even if they turn out to be not as productive as I want them to be.

I was up way too late last night, because of my nasty cough. It seems that a night without Neo-Citran is not a good thing. I do cough a fair bit during the day still, but the coughing goes to an extreme level once the sun goes down. I gave up on sleep somewhere around 1am, and made myself a cup of Neo-Citran in the hopes of being able to grab at least a few hours of restful sleep. About an hour later I was back in bed and managed to sleep until my alarm buzzed at 7am. It sure would have been nice if today was Sunday after all! Instead, I had to get up and get the kids up and moving towards school.

The problem with any sort of medication that makes me drowsy is the after-effect. The next morning has me feeling fuzzy and weak in the limbs, almost a little shaky, and this is usually the case even after a full night's sleep. So I was not feeling so hot this morning with slightly less than five hours of sleep. Shortly after the kids had all gone to school, I opted for a nap in my bed for a little more than an hour. That extra hour of sleep was so nice and so needed, but it wasn't nearly enough! Unfortunately, I couldn't sleep the day away and had to get up and moving.

I had a lunch meeting with my bosses today. They wanted to go over a bunch of things with me, just as they have been doing one-on-one with all the managers and supervisors over the past month. I am always a little nervous about such meetings, even when I know that there is nothing bad coming down the pipe, but it went well and all is good. It looks like I could be seeing a little bit more responsibility, which is both exciting and intimidating, but I can do it.

Now I am home and contemplating the next hour and a half or so until I need to pick Abby up from school and take her to her church program. It's really not enough time to get too immersed in any one project, because I find such interruptions are detrimental to my ultimate progress. However, I guess I can work on some purging and organizing.

I have also been thinking about the NaNoWriMo thing and how I just do not seem to be a novel writer. I like the concept behind NaNoWriMo, where you write like mad for one month, not to produce perfection but to simply be motivated to write. I dig that! It is the kind of motivation that I need and often thrive on, but I am not sure that a novel lies within me. I enjoy writing, though I may not be very good at it. I did manage to write over 5000 words, but it isn't a novel, per se, and I just can't see myself writing on that same vein for another 45, 000 words. But, I seem to be doing well with the NaBloPoMo!

Time Warp

It feels like Saturday today, but it is only Wednesday. I think the reason for my confusion is the fact that I worked a 7am to 3pm shift, which is not a shift I normally work on a week day. Unless it is summer, I only work a full shift on Saturdays. As well, since today is a statutory holiday, most of my co-workers were students and other part-timers, instead of the week day full-timers. A couple of times someone would make a comment about seeing me on Saturday, and I had to pause each time to think about what day of the week it was. Silly me!

As long as I don't forget to set my alarm tonight, so that the kids are up for school on time!

Motivation

I am always amazed by how quickly junk accumulates and reproduces within our home. Despite regular purging and organizing, we amass more stuff and my efforts to produce margins are trounced on by the growing clutter.

It is time to purge once again. Last week was supposed to be my area's thrift store donation pick-up, and I said that I would have my contribution ready. I over-estimated my motivation in the midst of my crazy work schedule and being sick. The truck pulled up outside my house last Thursday, but I had nothing set outside waiting for pick-up! In fact, I had nothing ready at all. I felt guilty for failing to be ready when I said that I would, but the timing just didn't work out the way that I thought that it would. How was I to know that I would be asked to start work early and come in on days off as often as I was the past two weeks?

Yesterday, after working all day, I came home and was surprised by a burst of energy and motivation to begin another round of purging/organizing. Kane put a bunch of things in storage for the winter, like fans and tennis rackets, while I packed up a bunch of puzzles destined for the thrift store.

There is a lot to do, and I would really like to get most, if not all, of it done before the end of November, so that the house is "ready" for the upheaval of Christmas decorating. Besides the routine removal of excess junk, we also have a few projects that have been on stand-by for some time. Sam's bedroom is still in need of drywall, a ceiling, and finishing. The rec room is in need of a ceiling and finishing. Casey has been promised a new paint job in his bedroom for some time as well. So much to do...

Energy!

Our church held a family event at EnergyPlex last night, and so we participated. The kids had fun, while the parents mostly sat around or chased after their children. Sam and Abby both gave the rock wall a try, although they did not make it all the way to the top. I think Casey could have made it if he had tried, but he didn't. The kids also had fun jumping into the foam pit. There was just a little too much speed and motion for my camera to focus properly for some of the pics, but that's okay. Someday I will get everything figured out!

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Sleepy-head

I slept well last night, really well and for nearly ten hours!

Most of my sleep for the past week has been helped along with a dose of Neo-Citran before bed. While I generally do not like to take medication unless necessary, I do want to be able to sleep at night rather than keeping myself and everyone else awake with a persistent, hacking cough. The trouble with these 'sleep-inducing' medications is that they leave me feeling rather odd the next morning, sluggish and weak-limbed. Also, after a couple of consecutive uses, the sleep-inducing effects seem to stop working, leaving me with the dilemma of being wide-awake in bed.

I have survived the past week without too much coughing at night and still being able to get enough rest. If only there was something effective to use during the day that wouldn't make me feel ill, because there are a number of 'day-time' remedies that just do not agree with me!

Friday night was the odd night of the week. Kane and I were out for a fundraiser, so I was up later than I normally am on a Friday night. I am used to being in bed by 9:00pm in order to be reasonably conscious for my early morning Saturday work shift, but I sacrificed an early bed time to go have some fun and support a good cause. Because of the lateness of my arrival back home, I did not have any Neo-Citran that night, and I did not sleep well at all. I think I still actually had a decent number of hours of sleep, but my rest was fitful and not so restful.

Last night, I made myself a steaming cup of Neo-Citran by 7:30pm, and it wasn't long before the medication assaulted my already tired body. I crawled into bed sometime around 9:30pm and fell asleep very quickly.

Kane came into the bedroom around 11:30pm. I woke up feeling like I had already been asleep for half the night instead of only two hours! I went back to sleep and didn't wake up until my alarm buzzed at 7:45am! While I did get up at that point in time, I could have quite easily hit the snooze button and fallen back asleep.

It isn't very often that I get such a good night's sleep, so I am thankful and rested. I obviously needed it, especially after how busy I have been the past couple of weeks and my current not-so-healthy state.

If You Give a Mouse Some Peanut Butter...

A week ago Friday I was sitting on the sofa, doing a Sudoku puzzle, while I had a few moments of down time before I had to pick up Sam from tennis and drop him and Casey off at the church. As I was sitting there, I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye in the area in the gap between the two sofa cushions not far from where I was sitting. I thought nothing of it, because I really was not focused on anything but my puzzle. Then there was another movement that made me think of a Whack-a-Mole game, and something finally clicked in my brain. In a heartbeat, I replayed the movements in my head and realized that whatever had been moving between the cushions was a blackish, greyish, brownish colour and had been literally popping up between the cushions. Having added the facts together, I let loose with a bit of a scream, while leaping from the sofa and landing on the coffee table!

Casey and Abby questioned my sanity, as I tentatively pulled the cushions from the sofa. Seeing nothing, I returned the cushions and moved from my perch on the table to the entry way across the room. The kids were still mocking me, until I screamed again when a little dark creature popped out from beneath the sofa! My scream must have frightened the mouse, because he darted back under the sofa. And so began a tedious game of "cat and mouse"! Pun intended.

Abby grabbed the cat, while Casey and I attempted to keep the mouse relatively contained. The mouse tried to escape from under the sofa to behind the bookshelf and back to the sofa and back to the bookcase and so on and so on. Maggie, the cat, took eager note of the mouse, but she was not quick enough to put me out of my misery.

It wasn't long until I had to leave. I called Kane to let him know of our little unwanted guest, so that he could deal with it when he got home...and hopefully before I got back home. Alas, the mouse was still at large by the time I returned, so we set a trap up behind the bookshelf and went out for dinner. When we returned, the mouse was caught!

I hate mice. I hate having mice in my house. I hate it even more when I can see the mice in my house!

I knew that there were mice before one attempted to kill me by cardiac arrest, because my parents had seen a mouse or two downstairs in their rooms. They set up a trap and had two successive kills before my mouse made its' appearance. So, I knew there were mice in the house. I didn't like it, but I was dealing with it...until I saw one inches from where I was sitting. I am still creeped out about that! Call me a wimp, but I won't sit on that sofa again for a long time!

In the meantime, there have been no more dead mice in any traps, nor any mouse sightings. I so hope that means that all the mice are gone from my house, but I can't be confident of that being fact. I can live with that, even if it makes me a little nervous about walking around without shoes on or opening drawers.

Falling Behind

I hate feeling sick. I hate being busy and feeling sick at the same time!

The things that I had hoped to do earlier in the week never got done. It is frustrating, because I would really like to be able to get everything done at once and I can't. I was supposed to have a bunch of stuff ready to be picked up yesterday for donations to a thrift store, but I never even got started. I feel bad about it. The pick-up driver came to the door yesterday, because nothing had been set outside, but I had nothing to give. Nothing ready to give anyway.

My house is a mess. Christmas is just around the corner, so I want to get cleaning and organizing and purging done before the decorations and tree come out. Will it happen? Possibly...

So Far, So Good

I have written over 4500 words so far for NaNoWriMo, which is probably more words than I ever reached in the two previous years of attempting the contest. Four thousand words is still a far cry from the 50, 000 needed to be successful, but I am pleased with my progress. I do not think what I am writing would technically qualify as a novel, but I'll just go where I am led and see what happens in the end.

And today's blog entry is the fifth for the month of November, which means that I am doing well so far for NaBloPoMo. My biggest challenge is to remember to blog on any given day, because sometimes time gets away from me and I might not think about my commitment to daily blogging until I am already snugly tucked into my bed. So far, so good! Today's blog post is the latest of the month, being written at 6:45pm, but at least I wasn't in bed yet.

Take Your Kid to Work Day

Today was Take Your Kid To Work Day; a day for grade nine students to go to work with a parent or family friend and experience the workplace. Casey came to work with me for a four hour shift. We were busy over lunch, so Casey was kept hopping. He did a great job of cleaning the dining room and washing the dishes. He was even given a cut of the tips, so he made nearly $2!

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Resistance is Futile

My body is succumbing to whatever this is that it has been fighting for more than a week now. The sore throat and cough have found a new ally in my stuffy/runny nose, and a headache has surfaced to tie everything together. I don't believe I slept too well last night between the coughing, the scratchy-dry throat, and the frequent nose-blowing requirements. I must remember to pick up some Neo-Citran today!

Monday Moanings

I am tired, my feet hurt, and it feels like I've already lived through a very long week and it is only Monday! As Mondays go this was not the worst I have ever lived through, but it has certainly been far from the best.

It started with Casey stumbling out of bed this morning and promptly falling back to sleep on the sofa, wrapped up in his fleece throw blanket. He had a good time at the youth camp out over the weekend, but he was complaining last night of not feeling well again. So, I called the school to record his absence. This was his third missed day of school since last Monday, but there is a lot of nasty stuff going around.

Then my phone rang, and I knew without looking at the call display that it was my workplace. Could I start at 8:00am instead of 9:00am? Normally, I cannot make it in until 8:30am, but things worked out well enough this morning for me to make it there at the requested time. Someone had called in sick late last night. I'm not sure why that was a last minute surprise, since this same person was sick all of last week and had a doctor's note to stay home. Go figure!

So we were short-staffed at work today to start with, and then another co-worker was sent home from work two hours into her shift, because she was experiencing major back pain. It's a good thing the two owners came in around lunch time, because we would have been down to 3 employees for a while!

As if being short-staffed wasn't bad enough, we were also forced to work around a couple of men and equipment for the entire day. We are getting new tills, so the guys were installing wires and cables and doing whatever it was they needed to do. Meanwhile, we tried our best to do our jobs, while dodging the boxes on the floor, the guy on the ladder in the doorway, and the ultra-expensive new till balanced on a stack of milk crates in the drive-thru corner. Fun, fun, fun.

The co-worker who called in sick late last night dropped by this afternoon to show a doctor's note excusing her from work for the rest of this week, too. Of course, that means that I was asked to once again give up a day off and come into work on Wednesday. As much as I wanted to say 'No', I couldn't. Wednesday is Take Your Child to Work Day, and I am taking Casey to work with me. Since I wasn't scheduled for that day, I was going to volunteer an hour or two of my time to do dishes and take care of the lobby with Casey. It's kind of hard to say no to a paid shift when you're going to be coming in anyway.

And lastly, I am fighting something. I've been dealing with a sore, scratchy, froggy throat for over a week, although some moments/days are better than others. I have also had a cough that can be persistent at times, like last Friday night when I coughed more than I slept. This morning I awoke to a stuffy nose, and it has been asking for attention most of the day. I am not sick enough to justify missing work, but if I continue to be pressed into extra hours of work, then I am going to have a difficult time fighting this thing off.

Writer's Block

It is the first of November. Already! Yikes!

And so begins a month of frantic writing...at least that's the plan. November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and also National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo). A few days ago, I was thinking that I could do both, but now that November is here I feel inadequate and like a failure before I even begin.

This is my first time for attempting NaBloPoMo, but I have never yet posted a blog every day for a month. I think the blog challenge will be the most difficult for that reason. At least for the novel challenge there is no daily requirement; I just need to write a story with 50 000 words and submit it before the end of the month.

No sweat, right?

Wake Up Call

I am trying to look both behind and ahead, but it seems like I am constantly stuck on today. There is so much going on that I am afraid of missing something, so I push the pause button on so many tasks and goals. Staying organized is like trying to climb a steep sand dune, sliding two steps back for every step upward. All my lists, charts and planners can only keep me quasi-organized...so long as I can remember to look at them often. Unfortunately, the things that tend to fall through the cracks first are often the most important!

I stayed home from church yesterday, because Casey was sick. Kane brought home an envelope for me from a friend with a note inside. The message was brief, but it hit me right between the eyes. There was no condemnation, no anger, no finger pointing, just a request for a shoulder to 'cry' on, some friendly support. I suddenly realized that I am so busy living life that I haven't been a very good friend of late.

There have been times when I feel somewhat neglected or lost in the shuffle, especially when I am not in regular contact with my friends. One friend seldom reaches out to 'touch' me, even when I have made the effort to initiate contact, and so I no longer try too hard and attempt not to care too much that I am not in her loop. Still, my heart desires to be a good friend to all my friends, but I fall flat on my face sometimes.

Blindsided

I was feeling rather good when I arrived at work this morning. When I saw the chaos surrounding me, I felt mostly good but a little frustrated, knowing that there doesn't need to be such disorder yet powerless to change it. So I plodded along, doing my job and trying to keep a firm grip on my good mood.

Toward the end of my shift I made a mistake. I innocently asked some questions about our new tip-sharing policies and was quickly snapped at. I tried to explain that I wasn't upset. I wasn't even completely disagreeing, but there are some flaws in the system which are benefiting only a few while leaving others with empty pockets. I do not think I deserve the same amount of tips as those that started work at 5am or 6 am. After all, I started work at 10am, but I went home with no tips at all. However, the employee who started at 8am and the employee that started at 9am both went home without tips, too. How is that fair? At the end of the day, I am not going to whine and complain or lose sleep over whether or not I get tips at my job. Honestly, even before this new sharing policy, there were more days where I got no tips than days that I got any tips worth getting excited about! It's just the nature of the fast food business. But, I didn't really appreciate the huffy response I got for raising a few questions.

So I left work feeling slightly deflated but generally fine. My head hurts, my back is sore, and I am not very excited about cleaning my kitchen or making supper.

I got home and gathered the mail from the mailbox. There was a greeting card-sized envelope with my name on it, hand-written, no less! Excitement bubbled up like an underground spring pushing up through the mud. No return address. Who could it be from? I so seldom get any personal mail I couldn't help but feel thrilled...until I opened it to find a card from a business trying to get my business. All that joy and excitement disappeared in the blink of an eye, leaving me vulnerable to sadness and self-pity.

Family

This photo was taken after our Thanksgiving lunch this past Sunday. Most are members of my family, but one of Kane's brothers is also in the photo. It was good to have family over for a good meal and fellowship.

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Thanksgiving

It is the beginning of Thanksgiving weekend, which is one of my favourite times of the year. Okay, I like any excuse to cook a big turkey meal! What can I say? I love cooking the big meals.


The photo is of an apple pie that I baked earlier this week. Unfortunately, it is no longer with us, having been consumed by the ravenous masses that occupy our home. It was very good, even if the crust was store-bought! I did attempt to make some pie pastry for a second apple pie, but my results were less than wonderful, resulting in a 'wrapper' pie. It wasn't even worth taking a picture of...I can bake lots of things, but pie pastry just seems to be beyond my grasp.


It will be a bit of a busy, crazy weekend. I am off work today, which meant I had last minute running around to do along with regular household stuff. I work a full day tomorrow from 7am to 3pm. After work, I will need to bake pumpkin pies and do some other prep work, so everything is ready to get the turkey in the oven in the morning. No rest for the weary! Sunday is when we'll be digging into the turkey, followed by slipping into near coma-like states after lunch. Monday I am back to work with another full and early day, 6am to 2pm. The nice thing about working Monday is that it is a stat holiday, so I will be working with the part-timers and there is no manager on until later in the day. There is always potential for disaster or chaos on days like that, but I would rather work one of those days than some of the bad days with the full-timers.


Thanksgiving Dinner Menu:

roast turkey, of course!
mashed potatoes
stuffing
gravy
Brussels sprouts
carrots, although I haven't decided if they will be cooked or raw or both
crescent rolls
ham
pickles, an important food group for my kids
pumpkin pie
and possible another dessert option
and my mom will likely make sweet potatoes, not something I enjoy


I have no idea who we can expect for company, but that seems to be the way works with our extended families. We could have anywhere from 7 to 18, although I highly doubt that our numbers will reach that high. My best guess is that we'll have 10-12, including ourselves.

Edited to add:

It looks like we can expect to have 15-17! My bad! I forgot that one of my sisters was living in town again...but it will all be good. Maybe we can even get a family photo with most of the extended family...



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Falling Forward

It's a cool and drizzly kind of day. The past couple of days had me feeling not so great physically. I may not be out of those gloomy woods quite yet, but my attitude is upbeat today. There is a pot of stew simmering on the stove for tonight's supper, and freshly baked banana bread is cooling on the counter. How can you tell it is Autumn?

I am realizing that I need to start remembering to grab a jacket when I head out the door later in the day, that my thin sweater just isn't enough to keep me warm when the sun goes down for the night. My feet are beginning to feel the chill, although I will hold off on wearing socks for as long as I possibly can! We turned the furnace on a few days ago, but we have it set low enough that it has barely kicked in. So far. I have pulled out my fleece pyjamas and magic bags to keep me toasty warm, and both quilts are in use instead of just the top sheet. The thought of an Iced Capp doesn't entice me the way it once did, and I find myself thinking about steaming mugs of Earl Grey tea instead.

As much as I realize that warm weather is passing us by with winter weather soon to arrive, I must say that I am also finding myself a little at odds with it. A part of my brain isn't ready for fall, let alone winter, thinking that we're still in the midst of summer. Sam is still playing tennis, although I came home from his last tennis session with icicles for fingers and toes! We are still watering our grass, new as it is, and doing yard work typically reserved for the spring. Our maple trees are typically late in dropping their leaves, so there isn't quite an aura of autumn around our house. At least not for one part of my brain...

Welcome to Fright Night!

Blogging and journaling tend to take a back seat to life, which is rather silly since journaling should flow out of life...



Here is an overview of my life this week, which is very much like every other week since mid-September. Keep in mind that my work schedule fluctuates from week to week.



Monday, September 28 (I just realized that was only yesterday! Just goes to show how overloaded I am...)
-drop Casey off at school at 8:20
-work 9:00 until 2:00
-home to shower & change and wait for Abby to get home from school
-several minutes of surprise, anger, dismay, frustration, and resignation when a friend came home with Abby, even though I had told the mother that this particular day would not work!
-2:50 leave the house for Abby's dental appointment with friend in tow; frantic cell phone calls en route for mother to pick her daughter up at the dentist's office
-meanwhile, Casey is finished school and beginning volleyball practice from 3:00 until roughly 4:30
-also meanwhile, Sam is finishing school and catching a ride with a teacher to the Rec. Centre for school tennis games from 4:00 until 5:00
-3:45ish Abby is finished having her teeth cleaned, but it takes ten minutes to sort through the paperwork before we can leave.
-4:00ish hit the Subway next door to the dental office for a sandwich for Sam and realize that I forgot to bring Sam's water jug with me
-change of plans...drop Abby off at home around 4:25 and pick up Sam's water jug
-arrive at the Rec. Centre to watch the last half hour of Sam's school tennis
-Sam has tennis lessons at the Rec. Centre (thank the Lord the lessons are at the same courts!) from 5:00 until 6:30, hence the Subway sandwich I brought along for Sam to quickly eat between his tennis sessions
-arrive home around 6:30 and scrounge in the fridge for some supper
-relax, because that was only one day!



Tuesday
-start a load of laundry, the dishwasher, and do some light tidying between 8:00 and 9:00am
-at 9:00 go to my work place to meet a co-worker. She had some plants to give me.
-9:30ish pick up a few grocery essentials
-10:00 arrive at library to return and pick-up books
-10:45 arrive back home to change loads of laundry, put away groceries, and unload plants
-11:00 have lunch
-put plants into the ground, etc.
-1:00 change loads of laundry
-enjoy some down-time for a little while
-most Tuesdays (but not today) Sam has an after school class from 3:30 until 5:00, so he would need to be picked up from school
-6:00 parent meeting at Sam's school


Wednesday, September 30
-no work today but probably a bit of running around scoping out camping equipment for Sam's Outdoor Ed. class trip mid-October
-maybe do some baking?! It will depend on how insane I am in the morning.
-Casey has volleyball practice again after school, same duration
-Sam has both school tennis and tennis lessons, same times as Monday
-Abby has a church pre-teen club from 6:30 until 8:00
-Kane has a men's church group from 7:00 until 9:00, which means I need to go pick Abby up at 8:00


Thursday, October 1
-I work 10:00 until 2:00
-Casey has a volleyball game from 4:45 to 6:45 at a school in a neighbouring city
-Abby has a church drama/music group from 3:30 until 4:45
-Sam has a dental appointment at 4:00, which means I will need to pick him up from school before I drop Abby off at church (hopefully! Abby's friend will likely complicate things.)
-after Sam's appointment (if it doesn't take too long), pick Abby up from church and head to Casey's volleyball


Friday, October 2
-no work today
-will likely need to catch up on laundry and housework and errands
-Casey is supposed to have a volleyball tournament today and on Saturday
-Abby has a babysitter's course tonight
-I'll be in bed by 9:00


Saturday, October 3
-I work 6:00am to 2:00pm
-Abby has a babysitter's course from 9:00 to 2:30
-Casey has a volleyball tournament


Sunday, October 4 is currently a free day! Hopefully, we'll make it to church and continue our new tradition of 'family night'. Other than that, it will be a day of relaxing and catching up.

Next week is more of the same, less the dental appointments (though there are at least a couple more scheduled in the near future), tournament, and babysitter's course. I don't know my work schedule for next week yet, and Sam wraps up both tennis sessions on October 7th. Abby's friend will be coming to our house after school until her mom is finished work. I am not sure if it will be an every day kind of thing or just a few times a week. The family is Korean, and I often struggle to understand the mother and vice-versa. She usually picks her daughter up around 3:30, which isn't normally a problem, but it is this week with the dental appointments!

From Blah to Yeah!

(Blogger apparently loads the photos in the opposite order that I do, so these are seen in reverse order.)

The front yard is looking good, but we still have work to do before I can say that it is a project completed.

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Bobcats and Back to School

Today is the first full day back to school!


The weather is grey, cool and rainy, but I love it. I feel optimistic and excited for the year, like I've just woken from a long, deep sleep.


The haircut helped, so did colouring my hair. I knew that I was frustrated and tired of my 'old' hair, but I am still surprised by how much I feel like a new person since the haircut!


The cooler weather helped. I like summer. I like the sunshine. But I love autumn more! As much as I prefer to be sockless and shoeless, I'd take cool, crisp fall weather any day.


The end of summer helped. I worked a lot over the summer, which is typical for my summers, but crazy. Returning to "regular" routines always feels like a breath of fresh air. Life won't be any less crazy, but at least there is routine to the madness and I don't need to get up at an obscene hour every day!


The bobcat in the front yard is helping! Kane and I have finally come to agreement on the basic plans for the front yard. As I type, the front yard has been leveled, and the first load of topsoil has been dropped off. By the end of the day, we will have the shaping of a yard with berms around the edges. There is still lots of work to do, but it is exciting to see progress and change.

After!

I like it! A lot! But it will probably never look exactly like this again. The hair-dresser straightened my hair (knowing that I am not likely to do it myself), so normally there would be a bit of wave and curl.

My head feels so much lighter, my hair feels healthier already, and this style should work with my extremely low-maintenance system. It is rather nice to have hair that feels weightless!





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Before

This is the 'before' picture, taken only minutes ago. It certainly isn't anything special, and I don't exactly like looking at photos of myself, but it is a reminder of what I look like at this moment in time. In four hours I will be sitting myself down in a hair-dresser's chair and placing my trust into a stranger's hands.

I cannot remember when I last had my haircut, except to say that it has been a very long time! I've been fretting over split ends since the spring, so I know that a haircut was overdue even months ago. The thing is that I can never fully decide what I want to do with my hair, and so I put it off and put it off until my hair drives me crazy and I can't stand it any longer. Probably not the best way to do things, but it is how I operate, at least with my hair.

I am looking forward to the haircut, although I still don't know what I want! When I booked my appointment, I said that I didn't know what I wanted, except for someone to take a look at my hair, my face shape, and create a new me. The voice on the other end of the phone seemed to understand my request and seemed eager to take on the challenge. Now I just hope that she is as good as her enthusiasm.

I don't think I am an overly vain person. I am not the type of person to primp and preen in front of the mirror. I do want to look nice, but I am not willing to spend loads of time and money on the effort. I am too cheap to make regular six week trips to the hair-dresser. While I do have some styling products in my bathroom cupboard, I can't be bothered to use them, except for special occasions. My hands are all thumbs when it comes to using curling irons and blow dryers, so I seldom use them. Okay, so I haven't used a curling iron in at least a decade and only own one because I bought one for my pre-teen daughter, but I have used my 20 year old blow dryer at least once in the past year. (Twice if you include using it to defrost my upright freezer!)

So, I am placing my hair into a stranger's hands. It is a little scary but exciting. There is a box of hair colour in my bathroom cupboard waiting to be applied to my new head of hair in a couple of days. Unfortunately, grey hairs are starting to show, but I wanted to wait until the split ends were gone before colouring.

'After' photos to come...

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