Sam's team has the teal jerseys. Sam is playing right wing and wears #11.




















Dad and Abby playing MarioKart Double Dash in our hotel room.








During Saturday's afternoon game, Abby fell asleep on the bench...the joys of being dragged to her brother's games and practices!






I was just experimenting with the camera, doing some black & white, some sepia. Sam is wearing #11.

Weekend Warriors

Well, we're back from Kamloops. The tournament was alright; we lost every game, but Sam played well and had an assist. The team played better than usual for a couple of the games, but in general, nothing has changed.

My hopes for enjoying the social aspect of the weekend soured rather quickly after listening to two of the coaches' wives during our first game. We lost that game 8-2. It didn't take long for these women to start hanging their heads after every goal scored against us. Then, they started the comments. "Any other goalie would have stopped that!" "Wouldn't it be nice to have a goalie on the team?"

Those comments were bad enough, but what really went too far was when one of the women turned to the opposition's parents and vented. She said to the other team's parents, "We don't have a goalie." This took one of the opposing moms by surprise. She answered with, "Oh, you don't have your regular goalie here?" The response? "He is our regular goalie, but he's NOT a goalie, in case you hadn't noticed! He's scared of the puck."

I sat on that cold, hard bench for the rest of the game in shock. I could not believe that these two women were behaving in such a way. Well, maybe I could, because my opinion of them wasn't very high to begin with, but honestly! No, we don't have the best goalie in the league, but our goalie works hard and does his best. He gets virtually no support. Our defense is non-existent most of the time, while our players swarm after the puck like novice players. Wouldn't it be nice to see our team play as a team?! That's what I would like to see, but it doesn't appear to be happening.

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After two of our coaches' kids were given the honour of MVP on Friday, it was nice to see two regular kids receive that honour for yesterday's games. Not that a coach's kid is not deserving of being an MVP, but I always enjoy seeing kids rewarded for playing their best even when they aren't the best player on the team. So many times, the coaches' children are the captains and assistant captains. Too many times to count, the captains and the assistants are awarded the MVP, because they are the "star" or stand-out players. Fair enough. But what about the kid who plays the best game of his life but doesn't score a goal? I'd rather see the MVP go to a player like that any day!

And you know, it makes a huge difference to that kid! After our third game, our MVP was one of those unsung players. He did work hard that game and scored a goal; I don't believe he had scored before yesterday. During our fourth game, that kid played hard and gave extra effort. I've never seen him play with such passion or determination! I fully believe that he was infused with new confidence after receiving that MVP. Did the head coach's son play any harder after winning the MVP for the first game? As a spectator, I would have to say no. He expects to win an MVP and has won many before.

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The hotel messed up our reservation. I had reserved a room with a kitchenette, but they were going to give us a standard room without a kitchenette. Not good enough when you came prepared for cooking your own meals! So, they upgraded us to a suite for the same price as a standard room. Our suite was very nice. Two queen beds were in a separate room from the living room and kitchen.

With five people in our family, sleeping arrangements can be finicky. Casey and Abby are both quite squirmy, so Sam hates sharing a bed with either of them. In fact, Sam would rather sleep on the floor than share a bed. The suite had a hide-a-bed in the living room, so we had beds for five. Sam needed a better night's sleep Friday night, so we let him have the hide-a-bed to himself for one night. Kane and Casey shared one queen bed, while Abby and I shared the other.

I did not sleep well that night. Kane snored. Abby ground her teeth and kicked me most of the night. At one point, a light turned on, waking me up. (I need darkness to sleep.) It was Sam making a trip to the bathroom. Casey often grinds his teeth or talks, but I didn't hear a peep from him...though the snoring and grinding on either side of me could have masked his noise!

Saturday night, we changed things slightly. Casey was promised the hide-a-bed to himself, but Sam didn't want to share a bed with anyone. So, Sam slept on the floor in the living room; there was certainly enough room for that! For some reason, Kane wanted one bed to himself, so I was stuck with Abby again. Thankfully, the only noise I had to contend with was Kane's snoring. I should be used to that by now, but I'm not. He can snore to his heart's content after I'm asleep, just not before that point. Trouble is that he always falls asleep very quickly; I don't.

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We had a bit of excitement Saturday night when the mom of one our players slipped on the ice outside the hotel and fell, breaking her wrist or arm; I'm not really sure. I wasn't outside when it happened, and I'm glad. Apparently, the break pierced the skin. One of my favourite authors has a series of books about a medical examiner; I can read all about autopsies. I can watch it on TV, but I'm not as keen on seeing stuff like that in real life. At any rate, she was taken to the hospital and was to have surgery this morning.

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And now we're home! It's back to work and back to school tomorrow. Kane and I also need to go vote tomorrow. Abby's birthday is Thursday, but her party will be Saturday. I haven't given a single thought to her party beyond discussing the time frame with Kane tonight. I'm sure Abby has everything planned out already...

I took my mom's digital camera with us this weekend, maybe tomorrow I can put some photos up. Hopefully, I was able to get some decent shots.

Randomonium

*the owl pellet lab that Sam spent hours working on last week...he received a 4/5! Hopefully, he will see how hard work pays off.

*interesting stuff going on at http://www.castanet.net regarding the suspension of a hockey player and his mother over a letter to the editor. Check out the letters and the sports forum! KMHA has already removed their guest book from their website; guess they didn't like all the negative feedback they were getting from all across Canada and even from some states. The story has even made it to the Sportsnet forums...will Don Cherry get his hands on it? I'm sure he will.

*we need to get a VCR! Ours died months ago, and we've never bothered to replace it; after all, dvds are taking over the world. But, we're left with movies on VHS that we cannot watch anymore, and we're left unable to record beloved programs. There aren't many TV shows that I absolutely must watch. Well, "many" may be a relative number, but those shows are Smallville, 24, and Lost. I like a handful of other shows, but if I miss one...I miss it.

*I need a digital camera. The other night I took 5 rolls of film in to be developed, which left me with at least 13 or so rolls waiting at home! Of the rolls developed, two were from early 2002, one from late 2003, and the final two from July 2004. I wonder how old the remaining rolls are?

*I bought Casey and Abby new pants last week. For reasons beyond my control, they continue to grow. Either that or their pants shrink. Now, I look at Abby, and she suddenly seems older and more mature, bigger. Because of new jeans?! I've threatened living in a box until she's 20...

*The Olympics are coming! I'm getting excited. Just how bad will the time difference be?

*I get three days off in a row; four if you count my unexpected day off today. I also get to watch my son play hockey all weekend!

*Speaking of hockey, I like Alexander Ovechkin. Even more so than Sidney Crosby. Sorry, but it's true.

*Sam and I have our own little hockey pool going. We picked a bunch of players each, and we're going by the most total points and the best goals against average for our goalies. We haven't checked our stats for a while, but we don't have a prize waiting at the end anyway. My players are Bertuzzi, Naslund, Ovechkin, Horcoff, Spezza, St. Louis, Phaneuf, Kaberle, Sopel, Ohlund, Brodeur, Cloutier (I know...lousey choice!), Theodore, and Giguere. Sam's picks are: Mogilny, Yashin, Jagr, Forsberg, Crosby, Sundin, Thorton, Drury, Koivu, and Spezza. Wait a sec...I don't know who else is on his list. Oh well...I'm going to win anyway.

*With everything that I need to do before we leave tomorrow, I've done almost none of it! Instead, I've been somewhat glued to the computer, keeping up-to-date on the minor hockey fiasco. I worked on a couple of scrapbook pages using some of my new-old photos. I had lunch late. I've nagged Sam to work on homework. I've taken his temperature. I've made a list of what I need to pack. I've written in my journal. Time well wasted!

*I work well under pressure anyway. Besides, it was what I had expected before Sam woke up sick.

Sick Day

We thought Sam's fever had broken last night around 9:30, but I guess we were wrong. He woke this morning, or rather we woke him up and discovered that his skin was just as hot as it had been before. A check with the thermometer confirmed it. 102.5 or there about.

So, I called in and am missing another day of work because of a child's illness. I feel absolutely horrible about it, though I appreciate the unexpected day off, because I know it puts my co-workers and managers in a bind. There's no one able to cover my shift. But what can I do? I have a kid too sick to go to school, and while he's old enough to stay home by himself, I'm not comfortable with that while he is sick with a fever.

Of course, this is yet another missed day of school for Sam, which I feel even worse about than my missing work. He can't afford to miss school for two reasons. There is only a week left in this term, and he struggles enough with his work already.

But here we are...me still in my pjs instead of my work uniform and Sam on the futon watching an old Abbot and Costello movie, sipping apple juice.

Sick & Tired

Only 18 days into the new year, and I'm scratching my head, trying to understand what is going on. My kids don't get sick very often, but the past two weeks have been quite weird. First, Sam had a fever and sore throat for a couple of days. He missed two days of school. Then, Casey came down with pink eye, followed quickly by Sam. Both boys missed one day of school (thankfully, we had a weekend in there to absorb some of those contagious days!). Last Saturday, Casey spent the night vomiting.

Today, I picked Sam up from school. He no sooner opened the van door than he announced that he was cold and tired. In fact, he wanted to have a nap when he got home! Nap? Sam?! Those two words just don't go together. But, he did have a nap before supper, and he is, in fact, in bed for the night already. He went back to bed before 7pm.

He was looking forward to going to youth group tonight, despite being tired and having a fever. Yes, he has a fever, too. Even up until it was time to walk out the door, he was wanting and determined to go. Then, he wavered just enough for our parental wisdom and logic to penetrate his stubbornness. He caved and crawled into bed.

Hopefully, he'll feel better in the morning. He cannot afford any more sick days from school, and we're leaving Friday for the hockey tournament.

Road Trip

We're going to Kamloops this weekend for a Pee Wee hockey tournament. We are guaranteed four games; only the top 4 teams will play on Sunday. Miracles can happen in the world of sports, but we, as in Kane and I, have already taken our team out of the running for one of those top spots. Since the season began way back in October, we have won only one game. Our team has no unity. There are three or four players on the team who act as individuals, thinking that they are hockey superstars at the tender age of 11. Ironically or not, these same kids belong to our coaches. Our head coach must see this team as a showcase for his son, because he only sees fit to lay the blame for our losses at the goalie's feet.

But I could go on that little rant for a very long time...suffice it to say that many parents on the team, us included, have written off this season already. And really, aside from this tournament and our final tournament in March, we only have 9 games left in the season! As much as I love hockey, I can't wait for this season to end.

So, we hold no hope for placing in this tournament. Kane was so sure that we'd be finished after our final game on Saturday, that he was quite prepared to cancel our hotel reservation for that evening and come home early. I could see the financial logic in that decision, but I couldn't give up that final gasp of hope. We would have to check out Saturday morning, and our final game wouldn't be over until 4:45pm. What if we pulled off the miraculous?

We talked last night about our options. Stay both nights or only one. It wasn't a long discussion; we're staying both nights. My logic sees it this way...on Friday, we play at 3:15pm and 6:45pm. There really won't be very much, if any, time to enjoy the pool on Friday. If we checked out Saturday morning, we would still not be able to enjoy the pool. Saturday, we play at 10:00am and 3:15pm. Even if we lose every game, staying that extra night allows us time to relax, enjoy the pool, and take our time. Why drive home at night after a long day, when we can drive home the next day, rested and with all the time we need?

Of course, as far as out-of-town tournaments go, I always find them somewhat stressful when it comes to the social interaction with teammates and their families. I'm not the outgoing, social person that my husband is; I like my space sometimes. I have no problem being friendly with strangers and interacting with them, but some strangers require more patience, more work, more something. In four years of hockey and two years of all-star baseball, we've had good families and bad families on our teams. This year, there are several adults that I would prefer not to spend time with, but there are also many adults that I simply don't know.

It's kind of weird really just how divided our team is this year. There are kids on the team whose names I couldn't say. I couldn't match up every parent with their child, even if I knew all the kids' names. Some parents either don't come to games or practices very often, or they keep to themselves. Of course, I have no respect for our coaches, which makes hanging out with them rather uncomfortable and tedious. Some of the boys on the team can be somewhat cliquish, but generally, kids are just kids. Hopefully, the kids will have fun and bond over the weekend.

Funny People

People are funny creatures. Myself included.

Yesterday at work a fellow employee commented on the number of yogurts that we've been selling lately. I piped up with a comment on the power of advertising. Tim Horton's is "featuring" their yogurt and berries for the month of January, which means a lot of TV advertising and signage. The price is the same, and we've carried this item for a long time. Yet suddenly, people have this urge to buy this item they may never have bought before.

Last week, I was at the grocery store to purchase milk, something I do with regular frequency. This particular time, I paused and considered, because there was only one jug of 2% left, but it wasn't my usual brand. Hmmm. So, I decided on a whim to buy a jug of 1% milk. Kane almost went into shock when he next opened the fridge! You see, I have bought 2% for years, not liking the watery taste or look of lower fat milks. But I realized something that day...I realized how foolish I had been! All these years I've bought 2% milk, even though Kane would have preferred 1% or even skim milk, but I almost never actually drink milk! When I drink a glass of milk, I feel icky after, so I don't drink it. On occasion, I will have a glass of chocolate milk, but even that can make me feel less than happy. Eating cereal is also something that I rarely do. Why have I insisted on buy what I want when I never personally consume it?!

So, I've made the switch to 1%. Kane is happy, and my kids have barely even noticed. I think Sam discovered the difference after looking at the label, but he still drinks just as milk as he ever did. But, here I sit, wondering how many other ways I am behaving foolishly for no other reason than habit.

It Finally Happened!

Sam scored his first goal of this season!

I was impressed with Sam's play today. He was positioning himself well, getting in front of the net, and skating hard to stay with the play. Hard work in front of the net paid off, and Sam was able to score off of his own rebound.

His team played one of the girls' teams. Midget girls from what I've been told. We still lost and badly. Final score was at least 6 to 2...they stop putting up goals when there is a big difference. Sam scored our second goal.

Sam was disappointed after the game, because none of his coaches said anything to him about his goal. No comments whatsoever. I think Sam was appeased though later this afternoon while attending a major midget tournament game when one of the "hot shots" on his team said that Sam's goal was the best one in the entire game!

I don't know if it was the best, but it is the only one that I remember. Of course, I'm slightly biased.

Motivation

I am feeling a little battered from the blows of hindsight and doubt. Last night was a long one for Sam as he plodded along with his homework. I had chosen to stay home from care group, knowing that Sam would need a helping hand. I even sacrificed one of my favourite TV shows, CSI.

Hours later, by the time Sam had finished one class' work, he was feeling overwhelmed and weary. I was allowing my frustration to morph into tenderness and concern. We both found some tears in our eyes after separating from a long hug; I was surprised at how easily he let me embrace him.

Sam struggles with many aspects of school, but he is a smart kid. Doubts assault me. Did we make a mistake homeschooling him? Sometimes, I'm not sure anymore. Did I make mistakes as his teacher? Most certainly. I am human, but mistakes are made by everyone and everywhere. Could I truly write-off all his homeschooled years as a terrible choice? I don't think so.

Sam does struggle with reading, writing, and some aspects of math. He's seen some improvement over the past year and a bit, but the struggles are still present. I remember my first meeting with Sam's learning assistance teacher last year in his first year back in public school. She was a nice lady, but I couldn't help but feel condemnation and blame for Sam's educational shortcomings. This past fall, when Abby entered public school, I was surprised and somewhat offended to learn that the LA teacher had assessed Abby, expecting to find the same problems that Sam had. Had she bothered to ask me about Abby first, she wouldn't have wasted her time! The teacher was quite impressed and informed me that Abby wouldn't need to spend anytime in learning assistance. Gee, thanks.

As insulting as I could take that exchange, I also found a glimmer of hope there. Maybe, I didn't need to take all the blame for Sam's struggles. Maybe, he comes by those struggles naturally. After all, we aren't all rocket scientists or math geniuses. I know I'm not.

How well I remember feeling overwhelmed and lost in math classes once I reached junior high. My junior high grades were high enough to see me on the honour roll, and when I moved on to high school in grade 10, I was placed in advanced English, Science, and Algebra classes. I could have applied myself more, especially in English, but the Science and Algebra classes could have been taught in Greek. I came out of them with okay grades but didn't step foot into an advanced class during my last two years of high school.

As a parent, it is difficult to think, or even accept, that your child is less than perfect. Even though I know my kids aren't perfect, knowing there's a problem still stings and wounds my pride. As if it is my fault that Casey had encopresis as a pre-schooler or that Sam hates reading, likes Pepsi and the Toronto Maple Leafs! I can accept the Maple Leafs, but Pepsi?! Not only does that wound my Coca-Cola pride, but it assaults my senses.

Seriously though, Sam would still struggle whether he had been in public school all along or not. A look back at his kindergarten report card reminds me of that truth. So, I reminded Sam last night of the goals that he made after his last report card. This school year, I see so much improvement in Sam; big and small. He is more willing to put out the effort. He genuinely wants to improve, not just because we want him to but because he wants to. Those are big, giant steps for Sam! He will need to work very hard to reach his goals, and he'll likely always need to work at to have academic success. But I know he can do it...if he truly wants to.

Another term is nearly over...two weeks from today. I don't think he'll see much improvement on the next report card, but we start fresh each day. Four years ago, Sam desperately wanted to play hockey, although he really had never skated before. We signed him up, bought equipment, and took him to his first evaluation. I knew there was tremendous potential for his enthusiasm and confidence to be trampled, crushed, and destroyed. He was 9 years old and had never skated, on the ice with kids that had been skating and playing hockey since they could walk.

I sat in the stands that day and watched Sam fall and get up, gingerly stepping his way around the ice. Half way through the evaluation, he was so tired that he needed to take a break. After, he was so excited! Yes, it had been hard work, but he loved it. We were blessed with an awesome coach that year. This was the same coach that took Sam under his wing during evaluations and made a point of cheering him on. By the end of that first year of hockey, Sam could skate forwards and backwards. You would never know that he hadn't been skating for years! He had several assists and his very first goal on the last game of the season!

This is the determination and work ethic that we'd love to see Sam apply to his education! Sam doesn't believe school and sports can be looked at the same way, but they can. Sam just needs the right people encouraging, challenging, and pushing him along; parents aren't always "good" enough for the job, in his eyes. His English teacher seems to be one of those people. Hopefully, he'll find the motivation he needs to succeed at whatever level he can. He may never be an A student, but improving his work and study habits and being better organized will see improvement in every area of his life. Improved marks are just the icing on the cake!

Older. Slower.

My birthday was on the 4th, but I haven't yet written anything about that evening out with my girlfriends. Can I blame it on age? If age doesn't work, sick kids and busy schedule should cover it.

So, the girls and I met at Moxie's Classic Grill for dinner. It was really nice to have all six of us together in one place, especially as that hasn't happened for a while. The food was good, and it was good to just hang out together.

My friends blessed me with some wonderful gifts.

From Courtnay, I received a ceramic tealight thing (sorry I can't think of the proper name) with some tealight candles and vanilla scented oil. I've already been enjoying the smell of vanilla wafting through my house!

From Niki, I received a Coca-Cola 1000 piece puzzle. It suits me perfectly; I love puzzles and Coca-Cola. I started working on the puzzle on Friday, but I'm not finished quite yet. Every winter, I get into a puzzle frame of mind, but this is the first puzzle that I've worked on so far this season.

From Kimberley, I received two beautiful leather-bound journals. I journal as frequently as I remember to do so. These journals will be put to good use in the not too distant future, and even when they're full, I will still enjoy them as I read back and reflect.

From Karen, I received a book that has been on my 'want' list for a while now. It is called The Sound of Paper by Julia Cameron, and it is an excellent book for anyone who loves to write. I first heard of this book a couple of years ago after seeing it mentioned on the website of one of my favourite authors. Then, several months ago, I came across it at the library, while I was randomly browsing the non-fiction rows. I brought it home and fell in love instantly! Karen also gave me a funky pen, because everyone needs one, and a couple of scrapbooking items!

From Debbie, I received a pair of fleece pajamas, a 2 litre bottle of Diet Coke with lime, a box of microwave popcorn, and some gum. Alas, the Diet Coke is long since gone; I am so addicted to that stuff! Another addiction is Sudoku; Deb bought me a Sudoku puzzle book, too. The gum was a variety that I wouldn't have bought myself, but it was actually quite good. The pjs are wonderfully comfortable and warm. I love them!

I love my gifts. They are all perfect. Thank you, girls!

Girls' Night Out

This past Friday night, Abby and I went to see Hilary Duff in concert! We arrived about forty minutes before showtime, and we were immediately sucked into the merchandise table mob. I wanted to get something for Abby, but there was no way that I was spending $40 for a t-shirt. So, I bought her a tote bag with "Hilary Duff" stamped on the side. It was still too expensive, in my opinion, but it was more palatable to me.

Eventually, we were able to navigate our way to our seats, and I was pleasantly surprised that they were actually decent. We didn't have to wait too long before the opening act took to the stage. Hello Operator is a group of young men from Toronto with an 80's style. While I thought they had a good sound and enjoyed their music, I was really bored and could have slept if it weren't so noisy. I kept asking Abby if she didn't want to go home, but she kept saying no. I don't know why?!

About thirty minutes of the opening act and then time for intermission. Roughly a half hour later, the lights finally dimmed and the volume suddenly spiked as an arena full of pre-teen girls began to scream. Thankfully, most of Hilary's songs were from the one CD that Abby owns, so we were at least familiar with the songs. The concert was fun and loud.

I'm no fuddy-duddy when it comes to music, but I began plugging my ears about 5 songs before the end of the concert. Amazingly, I could hear the singing better with my fingers in my ears than I could without them there!

And so, Abby experienced her first concert and saw her favourite actress/singer! It was fun. It was good. Was it worth $60 a ticket? I doubt it, but the experience was priceless.

My New Least Favourite Colour

Sam might be coming down with pink eye now, too. His right eye is beginning to look a little puffy and pink. Not good. Getting eye drops into his eye was more difficult than getting tears from the Sphinx! Just wait until he realizes that I'll need to give drops 4x a day...

Casey's left eye is now beginning to itch, so we've added that eye to the drop schedule. I expected this though, because Casey is a toucher. He is forever touching his face, his eyes, anything and everything. If one eye was bothering him, he'd touch it and go on to the other without even blinking. ;o)

Abby's eyes are currently fine. So are my eyes and Kane's. Hopefully, we'll manage to avoid being contaminated.

Comedy of Errors

So, I was occupied with a puzzle earlier this afternoon, when I decided maybe I'd better check the time. It was 2:30.

Oops!

I had told Abby that I would pick her up from school, since Casey had floor hockey until 3:30. School was out at 2:30.

I hurriedly put on my shoes and jacket, while grabbing the pork roast from the fridge and throwing it in the oven. I was going to put it in right before I picked Abby up anyway; I just didn't have the time to do anything special with it anymore. I had planned on walking to the school, but I had to change that plan, too. Desperation makes us do silly things...by the time I found a parking spot and walked to Abby's class, I could have walked from home! Of course, she wasn't in her class anymore, so I walked until we caught up with each other.

Sam went back to school today after being home sick for two days. His throat is still sore, his voice hoarse, but his fever is gone and he feels better. I promised to pick him up after school, too. Sam tends to be forgetful about certain things, and I wanted to make sure that he sought out any missed work.

By the time we had searched out teachers in a crowded school (Sam had forgotten), it was almost 3:30, and I decided I had better pick Casey up after his floor hockey. We hadn't communicated about the floor hockey, but I usually pick him up from that. We arrived just in time.

I took one look at Casey and knew something wasn't right. His right eye was puffy and red and oozy. Yuck.

So, I dropped Sam and Abby off at home with grandma with instructions to deliver their newspapers and peel potatoes for supper. I took Casey to the doctor for the verdict of pink eye and a prescription. After picking up the eye drops, we arrived back home at 5:00.

Thankfully, Kane was home and had helped Sam finish the potatoes. Casey immediately broke into tears when he told Kane about his pink eye. I gave Casey his first dose of eye drops amid much drama and hysterics. Sam is the stoic sick person, Casey is the whiney and melodramatic sick person.

I'm eating supper as I type; no time in my suddenly crazy day. Abby and I are off to see Hilary Duff's concert in a very short while.

Home from School

Well, Sam is not feeling better today. In fact, he's home from school with a slight fever, headache, and sore throat. He looks terrible and is lying on the sofa like a wet noodle.

I was supposed to work today. Sam is old enough to stay home alone, but I asked him what he would prefer. He wanted me to be here with him! It warms my heart to know that he still needs his mom. Of course, I know he still needs me, but he doesn't always think that he does. For him to admit it, that's pretty big! I'll take it!!

So, instead of a crazy day at work on my birthday, I am home with a sick son. Actually, it is kind of nice to be home with just Sam and to have him so quiet and easy-going. I think I might just work on some scrapbooking today. Maybe I'll bake myself a birthday cake, too.

Happy Birthday to Me

It has been an interesting couple of days. Work has been weird, frustrating at times with less staff but crazy hordes of grouchy customers. The cold that has been knocking on my door has been kept relatively at bay. I have a stuffy nose, but I'm otherwise fine. Sam complained of a headache this morning, but he came home from school with a sore throat and hoarse voice. He says that he feels fine, but he chose to stay home from hockey practice.

Sam is the stoic one. He would rather walk across burning coals than take medicine, I think. He refused my offer of any sort of pain reliever this morning, and I know better than to ask him to take anything for his throat. It just wouldn't happen. Hopefully, he can fight off whatever is trying to invade and conquer.

Tomorrow is my birthday! I have to remind myself that I'm turning 34...I think I'm mentally stuck back on 32. Don't know why though. Maybe I just can't believe how old I really am...not that 34 is OLD. Instead, I find myself with moments of confusion. Do I really have a child who is 12 years old? How could that possibly be?! Have I really been married for 13 years? What happened to all that time?

So, it is my birthday. I had my hair cut today, and I'm going out for dinner with my girlfriends tomorrow night. My kids gave me birthday cards tonight and a Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul book. It will make me cry, because that's what emotional stories do to me.

New Year's Resolutions

A new year is rapidly approaching. January 1st is simply another date on the calendar, yet we place such a burden of hope and expectation upon it. We see the beginning of a new year as a slate wiped clean of mistakes and trials. The reality is that our past errors and the troubles we've gone through cannot be put out the door for a yearly garbage pick-up. Instead, those things we would desperately love to leave behind grab hold of us and tag along.

The new year is also a time for making vows and promises that we know we will not keep, but we make them anyway. Why is that? Are our good intentions more important to us than results? Sadly, we tend to brush off our resolution failures as if they were merely crumbs on our lap. We joke about making resolutions, and we joke about failing to keep them. I can't help but feel that the joke is really on us.

Over the past few years, I have been discovering changes within myself. New Year's eve parties just don't have the same appeal to me anymore, and while I still make resolutions (of a sort), I'm finding my focus changing. I still enjoy a good party. I still want to lose weight and get in shape, but these goals exist because of battles within my soul. My resolutions have taken on a more internal nature.

I still look forward to a new year of possibilities, but I also take the time to reflect, to look back. Have I grown? What have I learned this year? Not only do I see my own progress, but I can see God's hand at work. We may not always recognize God's hand in the moment, but looking back allows us to see it much more clearly. This was an answer to prayer! This is where He carried me. This is how He used me, or this is where He used someone to bless me.

And so, here are my goals for 2006:

1. I want to continue to grow and mature in my relationship with God. I did spend more time in the Word in 2005 than I have in the past, but I need to continue to set aside that quiet time with God.

2. I want to be a better wife and mom. I am not bad at either, but improvement is always welcome. As my kids get older and life happens, I am learning that, sometimes, I need to make adjustments or re-evaluate the way that I parent or react or respond or think.

3. I want to be a better steward of my life in all the areas that encompass it; finances and health are the main ones. Who doesn't need more physical activity and a healthier lifestyle? Who doesn't need to keep a close eye on their wallet?

4. Simplify! This makes my list every year; it is my heart's cry. I have made progress here, too. I see it and feel it, but I know that I still have too many things that clutter my life. Clutter can be physical, emotional or spiritual. Just as I remove the physical clutter from my house, I need to keep the spiritual clutter in check, as well.

This far have I come. What awaits me in 2006, besides another birthday?

I guess I'll just wait and see!

Christmas Vacation

Finally a chance to sit down and recap our Christmas...

In a nutshell, it was nice; different but good.

We left home last Friday morning. The roads were in good shape, and the weather was fine until we cleared the mountains. Then, we had rain for a while off and on. We made good time and arrived at the ferry terminal three hours early for our reservation. Thankfully, we were able to get on the next ferry, so we only had a short wait.

The ferry ride was about 90 minutes; exciting in a way, but also a bit boring. It was raining and getting dark, so we didn't spend much time on the outer deck. Our return ferry trip felt quicker, but I think it was just more interesting. The sun was shining for that trip, so we did spend some time on the outer deck.

When we arrived on the Island, it was dark and raining hard and there was lots of traffic. We didn't have a map, but we did have directions. We did well for most of the directions, but we did get lost at one point having exited the highway at the wrong spot. However, we only really lost about a half hour, and we did manage to find our way to the in-laws. (We bought a map the next morning.)

It was good to finally arrive, to shed the jackets and shoes, and relax. It's a little stressful driving in a foreign area in the dark and pouring rain. We had supper, chatted, and settled in. The next morning was Christmas eve. We went with my brother-in-law to help with some last minute shopping in the morning. After supper, we went for a walk around the neighbourhood, looking at Christmas lights and decorations. Sam remarked on more than one occasion how it felt like a horror movie because of the dark and fog. Yes, there was a lot of fog, and the air just had this quiet, almost eerie feel to it, but it was also very calming.

Christmas day was nice, too. The kids weren't up as early as I thought they might be. We opened presents, had a late breakfast, and watched a couple of movies. The kids played outside for a while, and we had turkey dinner. The food was good, although it did feel strange for me to be on the sidelines instead of doing all the cooking.

We left Victoria on Boxing day morning to catch the 1pm ferry. Once we hit the mainland, we drove into Vancouver to spend the night at a friend's home. We had a good visit with our friends.

During the course of our trip, we were both under and over the Fraser River. The kids had been excited about driving through a tunnel under the river, but they were disappointed to discover that there were no windows in it! Really, I would much prefer my tunnels to be strong and reinforced.

Yesterday morning, we left our friend's home and began to head for home. We stopped at Kane's cousin's place for a quick visit. Of course, there really isn't such a thing as a quick visit with Kane's cousin, but we did manage to get out of there after about an hour and a half. Then, we began the drive home.

The weather on our return was not as nice as on our approach. We had a lot of rain. On the Coquihalla highway, we had snow for a short while. At one point, we had heavy fog, too. Still, we made it home around 6pm, safe and sound but tired. I also had a killer headache which had started while we were visiting Kane's cousin and slowly worsened.

I guess I could also say that we walked through the Empress Hotel and walked up to the Parliament buildings, while we were in Victoria. We really didn't have enough time to do anything touristy, but we'd like to get back in the summer.

Twas the night before...

Before I get caught up in all the hustle and bustle of last minute packing and travel details, I just want to say, "Merry Christmas!"

I won't be updating my blog while we're away, because I won't have a computer to do so. However, I will be bringing my journal.

We're back home either on the 26th or the 27th, though it is looking like it will be the 27th. I work on the 28th, so I might not be updating before then.

Count Down

Only 4 more sleeps until Christmas! I can't believe it is so close already...I think I'm still back in October.

Today should be an interesting day. Last night, we rented a video game for the kids to play today. They were told that they could play it when they woke up this morning. So, what time did they get up?

5:00 am!!!!

Kane wasn't very impressed. Of course, he was a tad grouchy about it, as he didn't get to sleep until around 2:30am. He was angry enough to tear down the hall with a bellow and a roar, but he was tired enough not to force them back to bed. So, all my kids have been up since 5, and they're going to bed early tonight!

Abby is playing at a friend's house today. I just put a batch of cookies in the oven. This is the last of any baking that I will be doing for the rest of this year. The plan is to take it with us on Friday, but Kane has been munching away on the biscotti. I pulled the suitcase out yesterday, so I need to work on packing. All the presents are wrapped but one. Well, another gift hasn't been wrapped yet, because it is still in transit. It should arrive on Friday, but we'll be gone by then. Sam will need to wait until we return before receiving that present.

I work tomorrow, so I'd like to get as much done today as I can. Yet to do:
-clean out the van
-finish packing
-box up the presents
-reserve a spot on the ferry for our return
-take in our empty beverage containers for refund
-finish cleaning the kitchen
-scoop the cat litter/ change the hamster bedding
-gather stuff for the kids' entertainment while traveling

I think that is it...at least until something else pops up.

We're leaving Friday morning.

Weekend Synopsis

Sam's 6:30am Saturday morning hockey game was cancelled. Unfortunately, the ice scheduler neglected to let our coaches know that our game was being dropped to accommodate a midget tournament, so a whole whack of parents (including me) were less than thrilled. I don't wake up at 5:30 in the morning unless I have a very good reason. Losing that extra couple of hours of sleep messed me up for the rest of the day.

Casey's birthday party on Saturday afternoon was a success. In his eyes. I am thankful to have worked for most of his party. The final hour that I was home for was more than enough birthday party for me! Remember that I was operating on little sleep, then try walking into chaos. Six 10 year old boys, a 12 year old boy, and a 7 year old girl with Kane at the helm results in a loud, whirlwind affair. My house looked like the Tasmanian Devil had gone for a stroll through it.

Yesterday, our family lit the advent candle in church. The kids did well. They weren't looking forward to talking in front of everyone once, let alone for two services, but they spoke clearly and well.

Last night was our church Christmas dinner. Being still new to the church, we're not sure what normal is when it comes to affairs like this. It was alright, but we left rather hungry. With about two-thirds of the people through the line, they ran out of turkey. We were in the final third. All the side dishes were cold by the time we dished up, and even then, the pickings were slim. I'm just glad that the tickets were reasonably cheap; otherwise, we'd feel very disappointed for what we got.

After the dinner, we went to see The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. I liked it. They did a great job on the movie, staying fairly faithful to the book. Of course, now we have this ongoing argument between Sam and Casey as to who is like King Peter or King Edmund. Both want to be King Peter, but I have to admit that Casey really is much more like Edmund.

Less than a week until Christmas! I think I'm finally just about ready. Of course, I need to prepare and pack for our trip, but that will be the easy part.

Christmas Poems by Casey

Just like last year, everyone in Casey's class had to write a poem for Christmas. I really enjoyed last year's poem...

Jesus' Birthday

The true meaning of Christmas is Jesus' Birthday.
They made Christmas on Jesus' Birthday because that is when he was born.
Jesus is the man who made Christmas.
He is the living God.
He is the only God.
Jesus' Birthday is the twenty-fifth of December.
And my birthday is the twenty-third.

This year's poem has a similar tone to it, but it is sweet and cute, nonetheless.

Christmas

Christmas is about Jesus.
Jesus' birthday is the twenty-fifth
And mine is the twenty-third
Even though I like presents
I don't know if you do
Even though we can't see him
He is still alive.

Appetizing Aromas and Joyful Noises

The rest of the house feels chilled, but the kitchen is toasty warm and filled with wonderful smells. I've been baking!

I was struck with the thought to bring baking with us when we go to my brother-in-law's for Christmas. Honestly, I have no idea if my sister-in-law does very much baking. We aren't close by any stretch of the imagination, but it is a good thing to do.

So, I made rolled ginger cookies; an annual tradition. I love this recipe, because it is similar to gingerbread but not as strong in flavour. The kids love to decorate the cookies, but they'll have to wait until tomorrow for that.

I also tried a new recipe called Mocha Bites. I came across it in December's issue of Canadian Living magazine( http://www.canadianliving.com ). It looked like a good recipe to use for a cookie exchange, but for reasons beyond my control, I couldn't take part in our annual exchange this year. Still, it sounded like an interesting recipe, and it tastes okay...for having coffee in it. I do not drink coffee, nor do I like the taste. I take my coffee Crisp.

Next up, blueberry muffins and blueberry pie. Just because I have a lot of frozen blueberries.

If I can pick up some more flour tomorrow, then I am hoping to make some biscotti.

Yesterday was Abby's class Christmas concert. My attempts to take some photos were rather in vain. Of course, Abby was standing at the back of the group with someone standing directly in front of her. Even if I could have moved, difficult in the crowded gymnasium, I would have had no clearer a shot.

Last night, Sam had his band concert. Once again, Sam was at the back of the group, sitting directly behind a boy taller than Sam, and in direct line with the conductor. Of course, I was also sitting in direct line with the conductor! We'll just need to wait and see if any of the pictures are of any value. The concert was great. The grade 7's played well, but I really enjoyed the grade 9 jazz band and the final song played by the grade 9 concert band: The Lord of the Rings. Oh, and Sam looked very sharp in his black pants and white dress shirt, but don't tell him that.

Tonight, Casey's class is performing their guitar concert. Every year, Mr. Averill teaches his class the guitar, and they put on a concert for their parents. As Mr. Averill teaches a grade 4/5 split, this is Casey's second year learning the guitar. Last year's concert was so entertaining; I'm looking forward to all the same jokes and songs.

You are a Brainy Girl!

Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books. You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more. For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests. A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds. You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life. Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

You Are a Very Good Girl

You are 90% Good and 10% Bad You're a perfect angel - almost impossibly so Don't you ever feel like being a little bad?!?

Are You a Good Girl or a Bad Girl?

You Can Hang With the Guys and the Girls

You've struck a good balance between girlie and laid back. You can keep it casual but when you dress up, you are as girly as the next girl.

How Girlie Are You?

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

In the Mood for Some Quizzes

You Are A Lily

You are a nurturer and all around natural therapist. People see you as their rock. And they are able to depend on you. You are a soothing influence. You can make people feel better with a few words. Your caring has more of an impact than even you realize.

What Flower Are You?

A Who Down in Whoville

Another overdue bill notice arrived in the mail today. How I hate the feeling of being squeezed by money pressures. It seems that we just keep struggling to keep our heads above water. When we start to think that the water level is receding, something breaks down and the water comes rushing back in at an alarming rate.

These past few months have seemed extraordinarily tight, even though I am now working and bringing in a small income. How can that be?! My income is supposed to be put towards reducing our debt load, but we haven't even been able to begin using my income for that purpose yet.

Christmas is in 12 days, and we are far from prepared. So far, I have only one gift purchased. Casey's birthday party is on Saturday, and I have no present and no supplies for the party yet. Bills are overdue, and there really is no money. We're supposed to go away for Christmas (courtesy of the in-laws), but I'm silently stressing.

I'm not ready for Christmas! Never have I been so ill-prepared, which adds another burr to my already chafed skin. I am the organized one; the one who makes lists and plans ahead. But not this year. Not this time.

My favourite Christmas story, aside from the birth of Jesus, is How The Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss. At the end of the day, the Grinch could not steal Christmas, nor stop it from coming. He stole all the presents, the food, the Christmas trees and decorations, but the spirit of Christmas wasn't truly found in them. While the Grinch waited to hear weeping on Christmas morning, he heard instead only joyful singing! His heart grew three sizes that day, because he finally "got" it. It was the Grinch's "light bulb" moment.

This children's story speaks so loud and clear about the spiritual as well. No one, no thing could stop Jesus from being born. It did not matter that Jesus was born in a stable instead of a maternity ward. Herod couldn't stop the King of Kings from being born, even though he slaughtered many children in that process. Satan could not sway Jesus from His calling, no matter the temptation laid before Him.

Now here I sit, some 2000 years later, and I have choices to make, a life to live out. Will I be like the Grinch who lost sight of the real meaning of Christmas? Or, will I be like a Who, rejoicing in the Reason for the Season?

This Christmas might be sparse for us, but we are richly blessed in so many ways. We may not be overloaded with gifts, but we already have the best Gift, an eternal one. Christmas Day may not look the way we want it to, but may we never get so wrapped up in the wrappings, that we lose sight of Jesus. I want to be singing songs down in Whoville, instead of sulking on my lonely mountain with a bag full of traditions and trappings.

We Won!

Hey! Sam's team finally won a game! Of course, I was at work on Sunday and missed it, but it sounds like the team played an awesome game. There was actually passing and teamwork...amazing what happens when you include those concepts in your play.

Mighty Casey Has Struck Out

I should have known...

Of course, Casey wouldn't, couldn't have his melt-down yesterday while I was at work! No, that would be too easy on me. Instead, he saved the melt-down for after supper today. Casey ran up behind Sam and gave him a shove. Supposedly, Sam had "cheated" during their little hockey game five minutes previously, and thus deserved it. Then, after being appropriately punished and restored, Casey decided to throw two dice at Abby's head, although he claims that he didn't throw them; he only dropped them on her head!

Act and react. If caught, deny everything. If that doesn't work, cast blame on the victim and claim amnesia!

*I included this photo of Casey for the simple reason that it makes me smile...Casey's personal protection plan.

Zombie in the House

Last night, Sam attended the annual junior youth all-nighter! The very nature of the event was to be up all night long, and Sam fulfilled that obligation. I knew that he would; he's a night owl like his mom. However, when Kane picked him up at 8:00am, Sam was talking a mile a minute and rapidly fading. No sooner did he get home than he crawled into bed for a nap. Kane woke Sam up around 1:30pm, but he couldn't get Sam physically out of bed for an hour.

Casey spent last night at a friend's house. As I drove him over, I reminded Casey that he did not need to stay up all night just because it was a sleep-over. I also reminded him of how ornery he becomes when suffering from lack of sleep. He agreed with me and promised to get some sleep.

So, Kane picked me up from work at 5pm, and I learned that Casey would be spending a second night at his friend's house. Uh oh. Kane assured me that he had talked to David's dad, the boys had slept a lot last night, and they would have Casey ready for pick-up by 8:00am. I think we'll even be taking David to church with us.

I wonder how much sleep Casey really did get last night, or how much he'll receive tonight? How many hours will he have spent in front of the TV screen playing Playstation? When his natural high wears off after church tomorrow, how far will he crash and burn?

Hmmm...I work tomorrow afternoon, so I could very well miss the entire crash and burn sequence!

Is it bad of me to have this smug feeling of glee?

Casey

Casey, Casey, Casey.

He came home from school yesterday bursting with good cheer; just like every other day. It wasn't until I was tucking him into bed that he gave the slightest indication that something was wrong.

"I'm going to hate tomorrow," he mumbled.

"And, why are you going to hate it?" I asked.

After some prodding and poking, the truth was revealed. Casey and another boy would have to stay inside during lunch recess today, because they were being punished. Aha!

Of course, with Casey being Casey, Kane and I still do not really know the 'rest of the story'. Obviously, it wasn't terribly serious, or the school would have called us.

I wish that we could take the words of our middle child at face value, but we just can't do that. He lies. He exaggerates. He twists and stretches the truth until it barely resembles what it started out as. Casey. My emotional son. The one that just might give me grey hair and sleepless nights.

Tonight, I drove Casey to a friend's for a sleepover. The drive took all of 5 minutes, but our conversation touched on competition, seeking personal glory, and people without hands or arms. Yes, I don't know where that last topic came from, but we discussed it, nonetheless! Even as he gathered his bag and pillow to step out of the van, he asked me, "What happens to make them have no hands?"

I don't think he even heard my answer; he was too busy rushing to his friend's door.

Shopping with Sam

In the process of putting current photos of the kids into Kane's wallet this morning, I couldn't help but "aah" over the old kindergarten photo of Sam. Of course, Sam only scrunched up his face and looked at me as if I were a strange alien species; he's a 12 year old boy, who doesn't like to be told how cute he was (or is).

I miss my babies, but I thoroughly love each step that they're in, when they're in it. Okay, I didn't enjoy sleepless nights or trying to give a three year old an enema and a suppository on a daily basis, but each age is unique. I am just as enthralled with my kids today as I was when they were infants.

Last night, I took Sam Christmas shopping. He has been spending his own money on gifts for as long as he has been delivering newspapers...I think about 4 years now. Sam is quite good with his money; he has no problem saving or making wise purchases. For the most part. (Casey is the complete opposite. Give Casey money, and he'll have it spent on cheap junk in no time.) While Sam is quite thrifty, he is also very generous. On his own initiative, he buys presents for more people than I would ever expect of him, and while I caution him not to spend all his money on gifts, he chafes under my restrictions.

Despite my low limit of approximately $5 per person, Sam managed to complete most of his shopping in the hour or so that we had last night. We browsed the toy section of Wal-Mart, but we didn't find too much of interest for the proper ages and the amount of money to spend. I told Sam that there were lots of possibilities that didn't include toys; he thought I was nuts! But, in the end, I think Sam did well.

Naturally, Casey is very anxious to go out and do his shopping now. Just the thought causes me stress! My two sons are complete opposites in looks and personalities. Maybe, I'll just take Casey to a dollar store...it might cut down on the battles and keep him on track better than my constant nagging.

Make Lemonade

My wonderful supervisor at work last night sent me home at 5pm, so that I could watch Sam play hockey! I love Ruth!

We lost the game. Big surprise...just another in a long list of losses. In fact, the only game we didn't lose was our very first game of the season, a 5-5 tie.

Frustration. It is everywhere. You can see frustration on the ice as our kids get a little chippier and the penalty minutes increase. You can hear it in the voices of the parents as they talk in small groups.

Kane and I are not happy with the coaching, and we are continuously hearing similar sentiments from other parents. Our goalie's mom was talking with us after the game while the kids changed. The coach had approached her once at practice to say that it wouldn't be long before the kids started getting upset with her son, because we're losing so many games.

Um, yeah, because our goalie is the only player out on the ice?! Don't we have 15 other players on the team who are equally responsible for the outcome of the game? And what role does coaching play in the performance of a team? Or, team unity and morale?

In professional sports, when a team doesn't perform well, the coach is quite often the first person to lose their head. I realize that our coaches are not professionals. They are not paid; they volunteer. Wonderful! Without volunteers, there wouldn't be a lot of programs and activities for anyone! Volunteers work hard and need to be recognized and appreciated. Yes.

However, as a coach, you can dictate the mood and tone of the team. We've seen good coaches and bad and mediocre. The good coaches are literally worth their weight in gold (or oil), while the bad ones can completely demoralize a player, a team, an entire season. We've had this particular coach before, two years ago. He did not impress us then, and there is little chance of that now.

What I find even more disturbing is that this man holds the title of Christian. Maybe he is a different person away from the hockey rink...I don't know. If so, I only find that more disappointing.

Grrrr. There is so much that I could say, but I should bite my tongue. I should. I should. I should.

Despite the lemons he's been handed this season, Sam continues to improve and make lemonade. He's a smart player, which surprises me. Just when has he learned how to position himself? As much as he loves hockey, he rarely watches more than the highlights...of course, unless the Leafs are on, but even then, he'll watch a few minutes, go play, and come back. Last year, Sam's coaches did work a bit on positioning but not a lot. Practice drills are monotonous and consistent. Year in, year out. Skate in circles. Pass the puck. Shoot the puck. Back and forth. Yet, somewhere, somehow, Sam has found a secret source of inside hockey information. He isn't the fastest skater, but he thinks things through and plays as a team player.

Win or lose, he makes me proud!

Run Away?

"There is no doubt that running away on a fresh, blue morning can be exhilarating."
Jean Rhys

Wish I could...

Hockey Day

Yet another hockey game played and lost. 6-1 was the final score. While I know that winning isn't everything, losing every game is not fun. Tension was running a little high for most of this game, and the referees kept their whistles handy. Unfortunately, while a lot of penalties were called, they weren't always the right call and many were still missed. Why did an opposing player get called for cross-checking, when it was our player that did the cross-checking? Everyone, from the coaches to the time keepers and spectators, were flabbergasted with that call. Later, one of our players intentionally kneed another player, but the offense went unnoticed by the officials, but I saw it. And then, after the end-of-game handshakes, two players started circling each other, swearing, and a punch was even thrown.

I've heard the rumblings from other parents, and I know how I feel about this year's coaches. One parent commented to another, after this game, our team had only 10 passes in the entire third period, while the other team had 10 passes in just one shift. We have too many individuals on our team and not enough players. Ironically, the individuals belong to our coaches and wear the letters "C" and "A".

Despite another loss, I think Sam played well. He had a handful of good opportunities and even a couple of break-aways. Sam isn't the fastest skater, and he's not the most confident with his stick, but he works hard and thinks. Of course, I am utterly and completely biased; he's my son! But watching Sam play, it is hard to imagine that four years ago, he could not even skate! His progress and success have been a result of his own drive and effort.

If only he'd extend the same effort and drive into other areas of his life, like school and helping around the house.

Sam has another game tonight; I won't be at that game. It will be a tough game. They're playing Sam's best friend's team, and they're undefeated, I think.

Lost Time

Hmmm...

I worked today. Abby had a friend over in the morning, and Kane took the kids to their cousin's birthday party in the afternoon. In other words, nothing was really done at home!

Tomorrow, I will be taking Sam to his hockey game in the morning, while Kane takes Casey and Abby to church. I go to work just after lunch, so Kane will take the kids to Sam's game in the evening. How much will get done tomorrow?

I don't sweat the housework very much, but I do have concerns about Sam's homework. It wasn't done yesterday. It wasn't done today. It needs to be done before Monday. If I'm not home, Kane doesn't always crack the whip.

And, Sam definitely needs someone cracking the whip! He really struggles with his schoolwork. Or more appropriately, he's never been interested in schoolwork, nor willing to put enough effort into it. We have begun to see small changes in Sam's attitudes (good changes) and a new willingness to apply a little more elbow grease (he does still groans though).

It is too late to be thinking about this...9:40pm isn't really late, but I'm tired. I don't want to nag; I'd like to be the fun parent sometimes. Why should dads get all the fun?

A corner of our backyard. 

Speak

Ever feel like you don't know what to say, or even how to say it? Welcome to my world! There are words and questions and statements swirling around inside my head, but the instant I actually need to say something, they're gone. Vanished like vapour on a windy day.

My journaling journey began with a gift from a friend on the celebration of my graduating from high school in June of 1990. The friend was a youth leader at church. The gift was a journal with a scripture passage written inside the cover:
Jeremiah 1:6, 7, 8.

"Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child." But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.

Fifteen years and five months later, I am still journaling, both in a journal and online. I still write. I also still question my effectiveness and my voice. Do I know how to speak or write? Who would want to listen to what I have to say? Is this really what I am supposed to say? Always more questions and doubts than answers!

The scripture passage given to me all those years ago has become well-loved and cherished. I want to be used by God, yet there is a part of me that cannot see why God would ever choose me to be His tool. I feel like I'm back in school, afraid to raise my hand to answer the teacher's question, afraid of looking stupid or foolish, afraid of looking like I know all the answers. But you know, more often than not, as I sat silent at my desk while someone else was called upon, I discovered that I knew more answers than I thought I did, and even when I didn't know the answer, I wasn't the only one who had been wrong.

I may not be a prophet, but God can use me, and He doesn't see my insecurities as a barrier to His message or His will.

A Christmas Carol

I popped our only Christmas CD into the player this morning, while I was dusting. Yes, we only have one CD of Christmas music. And, it is old...not ancient though. Actually, I quite enjoy this CD, a collection of carols sung by various contemporary Christian artists.

What I love about this CD is the fact that not all the songs are your run-of-the mill carols. In fact, some of my favourite songs are not traditional in any way. My absolute favourite is This Little Child by Scott Wesley Brown. Love it!

Here are the lyrics:

Who would have thought that long ago
So very far away
A little child would be born
And in a manger lay

And who would have thought this little child
Was born the King of kings
The son of just a carpenter
But for whom the angels sing

And who would have thought that as a child
And with other children play
This child with whom they laughed and sang
Would die for them some day

And who would have thought this little child
Would make the blind man see
Feed the hunger, make rich the poor
And set the sinner free

Oh, who would have thought this little child
Was who the prophets said
Would take away the sins of man
And rise up from the dead

Oh, I believe
And I will always sing
This little child
Is the King
Oh, I believe
And I will always sing
This little child
Is the King of kings

Many years have come and gone
Yet this world remains the same
Empires have been built and fallen
Only time has made a change

Nation against nation
Brother against brother
Men so filled with hatred
Killing one another

And over half the world is starving
While our banner of decency is torn
Debating over disarmament
Killing children before they're born

And fools who march to win their right
To justify their sin
Oh every nation that has fallen
Has fallen from within

Yet in the midst of the darkness
There is a Hope, a Light that burns
This little child, the King of kings
Someday will return

Oh, I believe
And I will always sing
This little child
Is the King
Oh, I believe
And I will always sing
This little child
Is the King of kings

Who would have thought this little child
Is who the prophets said
Will return to judge this world
The living and the dead

Oh, can't you see that long ago
So very far away
This little child, our only Hope
Was born a King that day

Wow! Powerful stuff. I'll take my one Christmas CD over a dozen variations of Jingle Bell Rock anyday.

Technology

It seems that our DVD player has decided to go the way of the dinosaur. Our VCR has been deceased for several months now; in fact, we tossed it. But back to the DVD player...

I noticed a couple of days ago that the power light kept going on and off, something that hasn't happened before. I bought a special CD to clean the machine and went to insert it Friday night. It wouldn't open. In fact, I couldn't get that dang machine to do anything! Looking at the troubleshooting section in the manual was a waste of time. There was no troubleshooting tips to cover the problems I was seeing. We've had the machine just long enough to have no warranty anymore, and you can purchase a new machine for very little these days. So, I think we'll just be tossing this one and buying a new, cheap one. Sometime.

I strongly dislike our society for creating technology that is so disposable. When it costs more to repair a machine than it does to buy a new one, there's something wrong. Most warranties are a joke, barely lasting long enough for a person to figure out how to use the machine! Or the remote control.

Beginning to look like Christmas

Yesterday was the "big game" for Canadian Football League fans, and what a big game it was! I was disappointed that my team didn't make it to the final, but I was all set to cheer for the Edmonton Eskimos to defeat the Montreal Alouettes. It came down to double overtime! The game was a little boring up until the final few minutes of regulation time and then WOW! It was exciting, and the Eskimos did win.

I'm glad to be finished work for the day, although, as a mom, my work still continues! Not sure what I'll do over the next two days (I'm off), but housework and baking are at the top of the list. Laundry, of course, too.

Well, Kane and I made a decision last night. We're going to Victoria for Christmas with my brother-in-law, his wife, and daughter. The kids are excited, though I think they're more excited about the ferry ride than they are about the actual visit. I can't say that I blame them...having never been on a ferry, I'm quite excited about that, too. And, I would be very excited about spending our first Christmas away from home if it weren't for the in-laws. The plan is to leave here on Dec. 23 and head back on Boxing Day, so we'll only be there for two full days. We can survive that, right?!

I thought for sure Kane wouldn't want to go to the trouble of putting up a Christmas tree since we're not going to be here, but I was wrong. He still thinks we can do that. Okay. Maybe I can pull out the decorations on one of my days off this week.

fititallinoneday

Today is the only day off I have this week. I would like nothing more than to take a nap, read a book, lose myself in a computer game, do anything other than housework, but housework can only be put off for so long. Even though my shifts this week are not overly long, they are just long enough to put a bit knot in the middle of my day. The knots can be untangled without too much fuss; I guess I'm still not used to not having all the free time that I want.

So, today is a day crammedfullofstuff. Laundry has been started. I've done some general tidying in the kitchen and living room. The garbage, recycling, and yard waste are sitting at the curb for pick-up. I do need to get to the library at some point today, and I need to plan supper for tonight and tomorrow, as well as a snack to bring to our care group on Thursday.

As I float around the house, I keep finding new tasks to add to my mental to-do list. The problem is that most of these new tasks are more fun than the tasks that are already on the list. I'd rather sort through a stack of photos than scrub the toilet. I most definitely prefer to sort through recipes clipped from magazines than dust and vacuum.

Sam has hockey practice tonight which is why I need to figure out supper soon. We either eat really early or really late. Guess I need to check my fridge, freezer and pantry...

Currently Reading: The Romanov Prophecy

Being interested the history and nature of many things Russian, a book caught my eye at the library the other day. I had never heard of it before, nor the author, but the title drew me in. The Romanov Prophecy by Steve Berry. Great book! I have already put a hold on his two other books, though I think only one of them deals with Russian material.

The Romanov Prophecy dealt with the long debated missing (possibly surviving) children of Tsar Nicholas II. The story is a work of fiction set in the modern day. Fast paced, plausible story with just the right mix of truth and fiction.

The book that I am now eagerly anticipating is The Amber Room. Instantly, I know that this book also deals with Russian history, as the Amber Room was a work of art in one of the royal palaces...walls paneled with high-quality amber. I remembered that the panels went missing during World War II, and I had vague recollections of panels either now being found or re-created. Intriguing story! Adding a suspenseful fictional plot to the mix will make for great reading.

100th Post

This is my 100th post at blogger.com, but I sure didn't expect it to be a gripe. It has to be; I'm in a mood.

The owner of the Tim Horton's where I work own two stores. The one where I work is a full-sized restaurant; the other is located inside a gas station, which translates into very small. For the most part, the staff at each store is unique to each store, but there are times when a Glenmore (full-sized restaurant) employee works at the Spall location. When I was hired, I was asked about the possibility of my working at either location, and I was okay with the idea. However, in the two months that I've been in their employ, I've only worked in the Glenmore location.

Until today. For some reason, out of the blue, I was scheduled to work for five hours at the Spall location today. For the past week, I've been leary of this shift; maybe even a little afraid. Most Glenmore employees that I've talked to hate working at Spall. Okay. How bad could it be?

So, I walked in to the Spall store this morning, not knowing a single person, or even where to find a single thing. I think only two people (managers) bothered to introduce themselves to me; the other employees seemed to want to ignore me. Except for one. This one employee seemed to think that I was stupid and untrained. She saw fit to talk down to me while "instructing" me on things like how to sweep the floor or take an order. She also repeatedly commented that things are 'different here', different as in busier and better than Glenmore. If I wasn't such a gentle person, I could have wrung her neck a dozen times over!

Later in my shift, one of the employees finally talked to me...to say, "You're from Glenmore, aren't you!" His implication was obvious: I was from Glenmore, therefore I didn't know squat!

Never has five hours crept by so slowly! During my break, a familiar Glenmore face arrived for work. She asked how I was doing, and my response was less than enthusiastic. She, on the other hand, loves working at the Spall store; in fact, prefers it!

The Spall location is insanely busy and small and cramped. The busyness I don't mind. I do mind being treated like an idiot though. Sure, I didn't know where anything was, but I know how to sweep a floor. I know how to take orders. I know how to make a pot of coffee or tea. If your store has a particular way of doing something, I do not have a crystal ball or the ability to read minds, so simply tell me. If you don't tell me, I'll just do it the way I have already been trained. If you don't like it, bite me!

But, my shift there is done. I don't know if this was just a one time thing, or if I might be getting more shifts there. I hope not, but I'll try to keep an open mind for a little bit longer. Even though nobody really made any effort to talk to me, they generally seemed like okay people with the exception of that one woman. Then again, she seems to rub a lot of people the wrong way. If I do end up working there again, and I have a similar experience, then I might just need to ask my boss to not schedule me there again.

Sure, I need the money, but I am not so desperate for this particular job that I have to put up with crap. Lots of places are hiring. They may be minimum wage jobs, but I am completely fine with that.

Wear and Tear

You know you're getting old when your body starts falling apart.

My elbow still hurts. Last night, my left wrist hurt for a while. (I so do not need tendonitis on each side of my body, thank you very much.) And, my neck is a little sore today...must have slept on it wrong, I guess.

Crazy Days and Hilary Duff

My elbow felt less sore on Sunday and Monday, but yesterday it began to hurt more prominently again. Still, it isn't the same throbbing pain. This is a little more difficult to describe: deeper, stiffer, blunter.

I bought tickets yesterday for Abby and I to see Hilary Duff in concert in January. It will be Abby's Christmas present, and I can't wait to see the look on her face when she opens that present! It will be so much fun. Okay, yes, I am trying to psych myself up for attending a concert comprised of mostly teeny-boppers! It will be fun. Honest.

I am enjoying a rare three days off in a row. Actually, it ended up being four, as I called in sick on Monday. I really did not want to give up my shift, but I wouldn't have been able to do my job anyway. So, I did nothing on Monday but lie around.

Yesterday, I felt much better and caught up on housework and laundry.

Today, I have plans to do some baking, before I go insane this afternoon trying to be in two different places at almost the same time. Abby has her music club at 3:30pm, Sam has an orthodontic appointment at 3:20pm, and Sam isn't finished school until 3:10pm. The school is almost smack dab in the middle with the church and the orthodontist at polar opposites. Yikes!

I have a plan in mind, assuming that everything falls into place. I am hoping to drop Abby off around 3pm, on the assumption that someone will be at the church at that time. Then, I'll go pick Sam up from school and take him to the orthodontist. It would work, but it depends on someone else being at the church. Shouldn't be a problem though...

Tennis elbow, anyone?

My elbow still hurts. I am self-diagnosing tendonitis because that is how it feels. I do get tendonitis in my left wrist from time to time, so I think I can recognize the pain, numbness, and stiffness.

I don't have a fear of doctors; I just don't like to go see the doctor unless I am desperate. It is probably quite silly, but I always get the impression from someone, whether a nurse or doctor, that I am simply wasting their time. I could be a hypochondriac, if I wanted to be. My body is always feeling aches and pains and such, but I refuse to run to the doctor for any of them. Instead, I ignore or research.

With every coffee filter I dumped today and every cup of coffee poured, I felt the pain in my elbow. It can't be helped; I'm right handed, and of course, my right elbow is the offender.

Maybe I'm reluctant to go see the doctor this time, because I know that rest is a big part of the treatment for tendonitis. When my wrist is having a flare-up, rest is no problem; I rarely use my left arm. However, I cannot simply stop using my right arm. I use it all the time, every day! And now, I use it at work. I doubt there is any work I can do at my job that doesn't involve using my arm, and I haven't worked there long enough to merit a leave of absence.

So, I am resting it as often as I can, and I am applying ice and heat as frequently as possible. I do need to remember to take some ibuprofen though...I tend to forget that.

I have three more days of work in a row before my next days off. Surprise, surprise! I get three days off in a row next week: Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday! Do you think three days rest will do the trick?

No. I didn't think so either.

I'll Raise You...

Hey! I got a raise yesterday. Unexpectedly.

The first raise isn't supposed to happen until your three month review. I have only been there for nearly two months, but the owners are so impressed with how well I am doing, that they decided to give me my raise now. Effective on Friday's paycheque!

Cool.

Reading, Writing, and 'Rithmetic

I received a phone call yesterday from Sam's homeroom/English teacher. Mr. C. wanted to discuss his concerns over Sam's spelling. According to Mr. C., Sam's spelling is quite unique. Yes, it certainly is!

Sam has always been a very reluctant reader and writer. His spelling has been bad for years. Last year, being in the public system, he was finally able to get some extra help from someone other than mom. His reading, writing, and spelling improved marginally, but he was still very reluctant. Asking him to write a paragraph would be torturous for him, and you'd be lucky to get three simple sentences.

Last week, Sam had two writing assignments in English that blew me away! First, he had been given a letter written by a grade 8 student, and Sam had to write a letter back. Sam asked me what he should write, I tried to give him some broad ideas but left it in his hands. I expected to see a very short and simple letter without any real content to speak of, but I was so wrong.
Sam had written a page long letter full of fantastic content (but atrocious spelling).

The second assignment was to write about the school library. Sam told me they were required to write 5 pages, but I am not sure that is accurate. Again, Sam didn't know what to write, and I expected very little output. Sam wrote a page and a half, and the content was amazing! Well, it wouldn't be amazing if he hadn't written it. Still, the spelling was really bad. I had no problem reading it, but Kane really struggled to decode the spelling.

So, talking on the phone with Mr. C., he began by saying that usually bad spelling is grouped in with bad punctuation and content, but that's not the case with Sam. I laughed a little and commented on how funny that was to me, knowing how much of a struggle writing is for Sam. I also let Mr. C. know that Sam has never before written so much or so well EVER! He was quite surprised by that news. He said that the content was good, and the punctuation was fine; in fact, he gave Sam a mark of 13/16 for the library assignment. For a moment, I wondered if we were talking about the same child.

Mr. C. seems like a great teacher. He talked one on one with Sam about his spelling and came away with the impression that Sam would really like to work on his spelling. Music to my ears! Mr. C. was also sensitive to the fact that Sam might not like being singled out in class with extra spelling work, so he was hoping to have my help at home. Absolutely! I have been longing for the day when Sam was mentally ready to work at spelling and writing; it has always been more difficult than pulling teeth from an alligator. Mr. C. went on to say that he wanted to approach Sam with some suggestions first and let Sam be the one to take the initiative. Great idea!

So, when I picked Sam up from school, I casually asked him if he'd received his library assignment back yet. He told me his mark and went on to say that Mr. C. had said he was going to show it to some writing teachers (learning assistance) to get some ideas for working on spelling. I asked Sam what he thought of that. "It's okay," he said. Today, he should come home with a list of 1000 common words, which the two of us will work through every day with oral reading and spelling tests. Really, this isn't a new concept. I've tried this approach with Sam before, but maybe, now that he seems willing to work at it, the outcome will be different.

If only we could get him interested in learning his times tables now!