Third Time's a Charm?

This is my third attempt at posting on my blog today. On the two previous attempts, I began to type but, in the end, opted to delete rather than publish. It isn't that I didn't have anything to say; they just did not feel right.

My day started frightfully well for a Monday morning. I was awake and alert well before the alarm would have blared in my ear. Before the kids had left for school, I had most of the house tidied. The laundry was washed, dried, and folded before noon, and my toilet is once again clean. It had been looking rather disgusting!

I was supposed to have helped in Abby's class this afternoon for their Halloween party. Last week, the teacher had sent home a paper requesting parent help. I filled it in and sent it back saying that I could bring a snack and help in the class. So, I showed up at the proper time today with snacks in hand and ready to help. My snacks were accepted, but my help wasn't needed. Apparently, there were enough parents already, and I felt summarily dismissed.

Disappointed. Yes, I was and am. Could she not have sent a note home with Abby saying that my help might not be necessary? I planned my day around being available to go to the school, and I was left with a gaping hole in my day instead. So, I left the school and started driving in the direction of Wal-Mart thinking that I could buy some things that I may or may not need. The only thing is that I don't have the money for anything right now, whether I need it or not. I was even beginning to convince myself to use my new credit card (which is mostly for booking purposes for sports tournaments, etc.). Thankfully, I came to my miserly senses by the time I was half-way to my destination and turned around to head home.

So, here I sit at home, in my dark kitchen, feeling somewhat bored and restless. Kane and the kids are out trick-or-treating, having opted out of the annual church carnival. I don't mind the solitude, but there's nothing worth watching on TV, I have no books I'm interested in reading at the moment, and my elbow hurts too much to play any computer games.

Yes, my elbow hurts. No, I do not know why. All I know is that I first noticed it this morning while turning the can opener as I went about opening a can of tomatoes, a can of tomato sauce, and a can of tomato paste for the spaghetti sauce I was making. Hours later, any rotating of my forearm causes pain and discomfort in my elbow. Right forearm, right elbow-just to clarify.

My doorbell just rang...the third set of trick-or-treaters so far tonight. The mental trick-or-treater addition just reminded me of my mother-in-law. We live in the house that Kane grew up in. His mom continued to live her until she died 8 years ago. Every Halloween, she would keep track of how many kids came knocking on her door for candy, and she'd comment every year on the dwindling numbers. For a long time, this neighbourhood was aging with many families having lived here since Kane was a child. Over the past year or two, there have been a lot of homes sold in this area to younger families. Maybe we'll see more kids this Halloween; not that I would know if our numbers were up or down. We've attended the carnival for years, never really been home to hand out candy before.

Did you know?

Something I've learned...have you ever paid attention to the cardboard tubes inside your toilet paper rolls? I have. Too much time on my hands, I know. When I remove the empty tube from a brand name toilet paper, the cardboard is thin and weak. However, when I remove the empty tube from a no-name brand, the cardboard is much thicker and stronger. Why is that? Surely it costs more money to have thicker cardboard? Couldn't you put that extra money into making the toilet paper softer or stronger?

Burning Expressions

I burned myself yesterday at work. I was rinsing something in the sink which happens to be right next to the coffee machines in the drive-thru. As I pulled back from the sink, something on me caught on the filter basket. Everything happened so quickly; I can't really recall what I was rinsing in the sink or even how I could have snagged the basket, but I did. Unfortunately, a fresh pot of coffee was brewing, so the basket was full of hot water and coffee grounds. I was splashed from chest to feet and was burned on my left forearm and right hand/wrist. Thankfully, the burns aren't too bad, but they sure did hurt for a few hours!

Of course, yesterday was the day that I was rushing straight from work to Sam's hockey game. Being mostly sensible, I had planned ahead and instructed Kane to bring me a change of clothes when he picked me up. Boy, am I ever glad I did! It would not have been fun to walk around the hockey rink in my work uniform with coffee splotches all over.

Sam played right wing yesterday for the first time this season; he's been on defense up until now. We lost the game, but it was close and could have gone either way. Even though the other team was probably better skilled, we held our own against them. Sam had an assist on our team's first goal!

I have been less than thrilled with Sam's coach from the moment we learned whose team Sam was on this year. This coach was Sam's assistant coach two years ago-Sam's bad year of hockey. At the beginning of this season, Kane did broach his concerns with Coach to clear the air. Coach assured Kane that this year would be different, and he blamed the problems in our previous experience on the fact that he was only the assistant. I was hopeful after hearing this, but I was still reluctant to hold any respect for this man.

As I sit here today, I feel much the same way. I have seen little details on the ice that have me hopeful for a good season, but I am also seeing things that reinforce my lack of respect for him. Only this time, he can't make the excuse that he is only the assistant!

He told the team that they, the kids, would vote for the team's captain and assistants. Sam reported to us after that K. was captain, B. and C. were assistants. At yesterday's game, Kane and I noticed that the captain's "C" on J. (who is the coach's son) and the assistant's "A" on K., B., and C. According to Sam, J. had only received one vote. Hmmm...When Kane asked the team manager why J. had the "C" on his jersey, he was told that "C" is for 'coach's kid'. Yes, I think we figured that out two years ago.

The coach's kid is a one-man show. He doesn't pass. Almost never, and when he does pass, it is to one of his close buddies: K. or B. The three of them have played on the same team for at least three or four years, if not longer.

I don't like to sit by B.'s mom, because it isn't good for my blood pressure. Her son is a one-trick pony. He has an awesome shot! Really, he does, but he also doesn't know how to pass, and he very rarely works as a team player. When B. is on the ice and has the puck, his mom is shouting, very loudly, for him to shoot the puck. If someone else has the puck, she is yelling just as loudly for that person to pass the puck. I find it quite hilarious, in a warped kind of way, that she yells for everyone to pass but her son. No wonder he doesn't pass.

Speaking of which, two years ago, Coach told Kane that he doesn't believe in teaching kids to pass the puck. Instead, he thinks that kids should take the puck themselves. I do agree with his philosophy to a point. Kids should feel confident in taking the puck, but if every player held to this mantra, where would teamwork fit into the game? Look at some of the best hockey players and top scorers in the game-do they pass the puck? Or, do they keep it for themselves?

When Sam had his very first assist way back in his first year playing hockey, he was disappointed that it was only an assist and not a goal. At the time, he had an NHL hockey record book from the library, so I opened it up and showed him the stats on one of his favourite players, Wayne Gretzky. Wayne Gretzky was arguably the best hockey player ever! He broke records and scored a heck of a lot of goals, but he had far more assists than he did goals! Gretzky understood that hockey was a team sport rather than an individual one. This was the point I wanted Sam to understand!

I am a competitive person. Maybe you know that about me, or maybe you don't. I'm quite able to temper my competitiveness in the spirit of fun and fair play. As much as I want to win, I want the contest to be fair. I want it to be fun. And really, that is the way it should be.

Predictable

Why am I not surprised that I was asked if I could come in to work on Monday and stay later on Tuesday? For the record, I said no to both. If I had said yes to Monday, I would have worked 9 out of 10 days; I just can't do that! Well, I could, but I need time away from work, time to do things at home. Besides, I already promised Abby that I'd help in her class that day. As for staying later on Tuesday, I've made it clear from the start that I cannot stay past 2pm on weekdays and that hasn't changed.

A co-worker and I were commiserating together after our shifts today. We both think (hope) things will get better once more staff are hired and trained. The sooner the better! She doesn't mind all the hours; she's full time and doesn't have kids. However, I am only supposed to be part-time, and I do have kids, which is why I am part-time. My kids have activities to be driven to after school. They need help with homework. I do have a life outside of Tim Horton's walls. Right now, it feels like I live at work. In the past week, I've already worked six shifts, and I have two more days of work before I get a day off (which they wanted me to work).

I said no today, because I need to do laundry, clean my kitchen, vacuum and dust, and clean my bathroom. I would like to bake cookies or muffins, so my kids have something to add to their lunches. I need to go shopping for granola bars and juice boxes; I'm out! I have three file folders of registration forms to enter into the computer. I have books to read and return to the library; I missed a couple of books being held, because I didn't make it to the library on time. I want to cook supper for my family. Real suppers instead of pre-cooked chicken burgers that just need heating or hot dogs. I would like to feel rested at the end of the day instead of exhausted. I would love to go for lunch with a friend.

So, my Monday day off is safe, but how safe is Wednesday and Thursday? I know that they'll ask me to come in, but I need to say no. For sanity's sake.

Too Much Work and Not Enough Play

I hate to start yet another post with a comment on my exhaustion, but it can't be helped. It's true! I am.

I was supposed to have three days off this week, but that has now been reduced to only one day. In fact, by the end of this week, I will have worked 8 out of 9 days. Thankfully, I'm not putting in 8 hour shifts every day, but I don't think that makes much of a difference. I am still left feeling tired, and I am falling behind at home.

The problem is that we're short-staffed. We're hiring. Desperately. Many of us are being asked to come in on our days off or to work longer than originally scheduled. I don't mind doing that once in a while, but this seems to be the norm lately. Yesterday, I was asked to come in an hour early today. While at work today, I was asked to come in tomorrow on my day off and to come in two hours early on Saturday. They wanted me to stay later on Saturday, too, but I said no. Prior commitment. (Sam has a hockey game which starts 45 minutes after I'm off. I end up missing enough of his games because of work.)

I am also going to have to talk to the owner about working on Sundays. I don't mind working Sundays; I don't even mind working Sunday mornings. I just don't want to work Sunday mornings every single week! I haven't been to church since September 25th, and I'd really like to go sometimes. I won't be at church this Sunday, nor the Sunday after.

When I was hired, I was asked how many hours a week I would like to have. 16-20 was my answer. Assuming there are no more changes to my schedule for this pay period, I will have worked 51 hours in two weeks.

In a Fog

Last night the weatherman said today would be sunny and warm. Hmmm...I just got home from work, and it is cool, grey and foggy; almost drizzly feeling. Not that I mind too much.

I am trying to decide on what to make for supper tonight, but I'm feeling crunched for time. I have barely walked in the door and changed into human clothes, Casey and Abby will be walking in the door within the next ten minutes, and I promised to pick Sam up from school at 3:09pm. We'll be back home by 3:20, but we need to leave for hockey practice by 4:15, which means supper needs to be ready and consumed in advance of our departure. (We can't afford to eat at the arena concession everytime Sam steps on the ice.)

Kane has offered to stay home with Casey and Abby on the assumption that he is finished work in time. If he's not, they come with Sam and I. If he was going to be home, I could give Kane instructions for supper, leaving me to worry about feeding Sam. If only I knew for sure! I don't, so I need to be prepared just in case Kane isn't here, because it is quite likely he won't be. Do you understand why I am spinning my wheels here?!

I have ground beef in the fridge; I could make chili really quickly, and once made, could be eaten at different times. (We'll be gone before my parents get home for supper.) I have chicken burgers for my two kids that won't eat chili, and those will only take a few minutes to prepare. But then, do I really feel like making chili, let alone eating it? No, not really.

I need to get a grip! The first few weeks after starting my job went smoothly. I was able to effectively juggling working inside and outside the home. I had meals waiting in the crockpot on our crazy days. I was organized! Since the teachers went on strike, I have slipped into zombie mode. It has been a struggle to cook day by day, let alone plan ahead. With our dryer conked out, laundry has backed up. Thankfully, Kane has kept the kitchen organized and clean, but other areas of the house desperately need attention.

How much can I fit into tomorrow? I don't work but from 2:30pm to 7pm will be crazy.

Here's what I need to do tomorrow:
-laundry, even if I need to go to a laundromat to do it!
-put supper in the crockpot (we're having lentil barley stew)
-clean the bathroom
-clean out the veggie bins in the fridge (I noticed a mushy cucumber last night)

Here's what I might do, if I have time:
-dust
-vacuum
-work on baseball data entry
-clean my bedroom

Tired and True

I am tired and need a day off to catch up on stuff at home, to put my feet up, and maybe even have a nap. That could have been yesterday, but I said yes when asked to come in for a few hours. I will not say yes if asked to come in on my only days off this week: Wednesday and Friday. I can't say yes; I need those days to breathe.

I realize that I have mentioned being tired and hating alarm clocks quite frequently. Both are true. I am a night owl. Alarm clocks are not a natural part of my vocabulary. Even though I am a night owl, I am a mother and I have a job outside the home. Both jobs require working hours that are not always compatible with night owl behaviour. Schools frown on kids being late for no other reason than mom wanted to sleep in. Employers don't look very highly on employees who fail to show up for a scheduled early morning shift. Of course, as any mom knows, being a mom is already a full-time job! Is it any wonder that I'm tired?

I am tired but not exhausted. There is a difference. I think.

Personality Quiz

Your Personality Is

Guardian (SJ) You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented. Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules. You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader. You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you. A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do. You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up. In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly. At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions. With others, you tend to be polite and formal. As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself. On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!

The Three Question Personality Test

Unloading

I am cold. We've had our furnace on for almost a month now, but we've been keeping it set quite low. Most of the time, donning a sweater or snuggling beneath a throw blanket is enough to keep the chills away. I'm sitting here in my work uniform waiting for the time to leave, and I am cold.

We've awoken to fog for the past few days. It is both beautiful and dreary. As a result, the air, especially in the mornings, has been damp and chilled. The afternoons have been sunnier and slightly warmer. Autumn is definitely here.

Over the weekend, Casey and Abby and a neighbour boy were consumed with some entrepreneurial spirit. They canvassed the neighbourhood in search of yards to rake. I am not sure how many customers they snagged, but they managed to rake in about $3 each. Really, it isn't a lot of money for raking and bagging leaves for at least two houses, but I admire their drive. Besides, if I deducted the cost of the bags they used from our shed, they wouldn't have made any money!

The kids are at school now. Once again, I had a moment of confusion when the alarm shattered my deep and lovely sleep. We managed to get our acts together in remarkably fine fashion. I would go so far as to say that we've never been such a well-oiled machine! How long will it last?

I did something this morning, and I am quite proud of it. Or really, I am pleased that I was able to figure it out on my own. Now that I am the webmaster for our baseball association, updating the website falls on my shoulders. From the start, I wasn't sure that I was sturdy enough to carry that weight; after all, I really don't know anything about computers or programs or websites. I have been trying to figure out how to edit the existing pages, so I could update the executive roster. Until this morning, I just couldn't figure it out. Not only did I figure it out, but I've already made some changes. I'd do a happy dance, but I have no rhythm.

That's one item I can cross off my mental list of things to do! I must have at least 479 other items left to work on. ;o)

I'm not so cold now. I kicked the thermostat up a couple of notches to take the chill off the air; I won't be here much longer anway. At work, I'll be more than warm enough.

The Return of the Teachers

The teachers' strike is over! With less than 12 hours notice, school will be in session tomorrow morning. Casey and Abby will be thrilled; Sam will not. (Secretly, I think Sam will be glad, but he wouldn't ever let that show.)

I am glad, though my body was really hoping for one last, much needed day to sleep in. After working early shifts this weekend, I desperately wanted to forget about setting my alarm tonight. Not going to happen now!

I was so unprepared to wake up early this morning that, when the alarm began to beep at me, my first thought was that I had left it "armed" from the day before. If I had a 'snooze' button on my alarm, I likely would have hit it, rolled over, and fallen back asleep. It is what I wanted to do, but clarity assailed my sleepy senses enough to remember that there was a reason my alarm was beeping at me. I had to be at work at 7:30; not quite as early as my 6am shift the day before, but early enough for someone who finds a schoolday wake up call of 7am too early!

So, even though I don't have to work until 11am tomorrow, my alarm will be set for 7am, and I will resent its' intrusion into my dreams.

Home Alone

I worked four hours today. There is still no school, so my kids were home alone while I was at work. For the first time; however, Kane did come home once or twice to check on them. And, he called, too. Sometimes, he worries more than I do!

The kids did fine. Actually, I think they rather enjoy this new freedom, although I do not. Sam is 12, old enough to watch the kids for a few hours. What concerns me is that Casey is physically slightly bigger than Sam, and he believes that he should have more authority than Sam. Basically, they butt heads frequently!

I did give very specific instruction before I left for work. A sheet was left beside the phone with all the relevant phone numbers and instructions. Don't answer the door. No friends in. No playing outside. This is what you can have for lunch. Blah, blah, blah. Oh yeah, no fighting! We even discussed what to do if someone got hurt or if a more dire emergency transpired.

I think I frightened Casey when I touched on the subject of 911. Of course, I didn't foresee a need for them to call 911, but I wanted to make sure they were aware of the importance of 911 in a dire emergency. So, I mentioned a serious injury or a fire as a time to call 911 (from the neighbour's house naturally). As we touched on the subject of a housefire, Casey commented that he would get Bear (his teddy) before leaving the house. Quite bluntly, I told him NO. His face drooped and his eyes began to tear; Casey has such a tender heart despite all his bluster. I reminded him that he is far more valuable and precious than Bear, and no one should ever search for, or go back in the house for, pets or toys or anything else, unless the firemen give the okay.



It is good to talk about these things, but I sure wish that teachers were back at work, so my kids could be in school learning instead of sitting in front of the TV at home alone.

Whistling while you work?

I am so glad to have no plans for tomorrow. No work. No school. No need for an alarm in the morning.

(Yeah, as much as I enjoy not hearing the beep of the alarm every weekday at 7am, I do wish that the kids DID have school tomorrow! We've had one full week of the teacher's strike and tomorrow is just another day of the same. How much longer will it go?)

I worked Friday, Saturday and today, and I am tired. Wiped out. Exhausted. I was asked to stay longer on Friday and asked to come in earlier today. Yesterday and today were eight hour shifts...my first in the past 12 1/2 years! I can't really say that I enjoyed these shifts.

Eight hours of work is a gigantic slice of the day. I have hardly seen my kids all weekend. I missed Sam's hockey game...again. I missed church...again. I missed going public skating with the kids today. Casey had a friend sleep-over, and I barely had any interaction with them. I haven't cooked a meal since supper on Thursday; even that was hardly worth mentioning. I haven't done any housework since Thursday either, but my husband has! God bless him!

Before I got this job, Kane told me that he would help out more around the house and such if I was working. I scoffed. I couldn't help it! It isn't that Kane completely avoids household work, because he's always helped out in little ways from time to time. However, I just had a difficult time imagining Kane stepping into the role of Mr. Mom. He's a great dad, and he does do dishes for me once in a while, but he still leaves more mess in his wake than he cleans. I had my doubts. Still do, but he has been making the effort.

Yesterday, Kane scrubbed the fronts of all the cupboards. He mopped the kitchen floor, did some grocery shopping, made the kids lunch, okayed a sleep-over (which I would have vetoed had I been home), took Sam to hockey, washed dishes, and dropped Sam off at youth. Today, he took the kids to church and public skating, made lunch, helped the kids with their newspaper route, and put air in the van's tires.

What did I do this weekend? I worked. I celebrated a friend's birthday. I had a bath and washed my uniform. That's about it.

What will I do tomorrow? First, I plan on sleeping in...hopefully, at least until 8am. Then, laundry, tidy the kitchen, bath, prepare supper, help the kids with some "school" work, read to my kids, read to myself, maybe take Sam to get his haircut (finally), and hang out with my girlfriends.

Tuesday, I work. Wednesday is free. Thursday is work. Friday is free but busy with kid things. Sam has a junior youth conference this coming weekend. I work Saturday and Sunday again. I'll miss church again. Next Sunday, too. I'm not very thrilled with that. I haven't been to church since the last Sunday in September, and I won't be at church for all of October. :o(

I just need to keep telling myself that this job is to bring in a little extra money to help pay off debts and get ahead financially.

Falling into a book

Another day without school. The weather outside is grey, cool, and damp. The kids went outside to play only to return within minutes. Too cold. Too wet.

Chores have been done. I am trying to come up with something creative for supper. I am failing. There isn't enough left over turkey to do much of anything, so I've pulled a package of ground beef from the freezer. Unless inspiration hits, we'll be having chili. That prospect doesn't exactly tempt my tastebuds, but it would work well with the weather.

I sat down last night and worked on making cards. I made several before running out of inspiration. I almost feel ready to crack open the scrapbooks again...

Today, I think will be a 'curl up with a book, blanket and hot chocolate' kind of day. I picked up a handful of books from the library the other night after hockey practice.
After the Night by Linda Howard
Dream Man by Linda Howard
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells
Sweet and Vicious by David Schickler
The Featherbed by John Miller

It doesn't look promising for school tomorrow either, but I have to work from 10am to 2pm. Mom has tomorrow off, so she can stay with the kids. Saturday morning will be an early one for me, followed by a long day. I work my first full, eight hour shift beginning at 6:30am! Ugh.

Give Thanks

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

We're having turkey for lunch.

Sam and I made pumpkin pie this afternoon. Tonight, I chopped onion and celery for the stuffing and prepared the Brussel sprouts.

Kane has offered to finish the stuffing in the morning and put the turkey in the oven, so that I can sleep in! Isn't he the best?! I'm always the one cooking the turkey, so I need to write out some instructions for him...by his request.

We're all tired today, I think. Kane and the kids were up by 5:30am, because Sam had a 6:30am hockey game. I was up by 6:15am, as I had to work at 7:30 and needed to walk there. Casey might have had a nap this afternoon; at the least, he had some quiet time. Kane had two short naps today. Sam just doesn't nap at all. Abby didn't nap either, but she'll be out quickly tonight. I don't nap often, and I didn't have time for one anyway. I worked until 1:00pm, but the the rest of the day has been spent baking, cleaning, and preparing for Thanksgiving. Now that I am beginning to simply sit, the exhaustion will ooze out of every pore.

Still, I have much to be thankful for. Here's a somewhat silly, somewhat serious list of what I'm thankful for:

-God's love, grace, mercy, forgiveness, His Son, His Word
-my relationship with God
-my husband who loves me just as I am, works hard to provide for us, loves our kids enough to get down on their level, and isn't afraid to help me with housework
-my kids who never fail to make me smile or make me proud
-my friends who also love me as I am and encourage and support me, pray for me, and bless me time and time again
-my home. It may not be everything I would love to have, but it keeps us warm in the winter and cool in the summer and dry when it's wet.
-Margaret Becker's music; I listen to her and find myself in the lyrics.
-my flannel sheets and pajamas and heat bag that keep me toasty warm in the winter
-my body pillow which supports me while I sleep
-long, hot bubble baths
-four distinct seasons
-Coca-Cola, in particular, diet coke with lime
-for my grandpa's organ sitting in my living room and my minimal ability to peck my way through a hymn book
-for our new church home. We still don't know many people, but we feel comfortable and welcomed there, and we're starting to get more involved. It feels like home.
-for an older, wiser friend who got me hooked on journaling over 15 years ago
-my favourite, and only, pair of jeans
-my favourite sweater
-my favourite books
-the NHL is back!
-that we're getting a 'new to us' van in a week or two which will have more room, captain's seats, and a working tape deck!
-that one of my girlfriends is in town for a few days and I'm able to visit with her twice
-my new job which meets my needs within my schedule
-my computer which makes some things easier, complicates other things, and provides hours of mindless entertainment
-that the kids will be going to bed very soon, so I can finally relax in relative quiet
-that my bedtime is only two or three hours away!

The Drop of the Puck

Hockey season has officially begun. The NHL season opened this past Wednesday, and today was Sam's first game of the year. Unfortunately, Sam's favourite NHL player, Mats Sundin, was injured about 8 minutes into his team's game and will be out for 4-6 weeks. Ouch! Seriously, wear a visor!

Sam's game ended in a 5-5 tie this morning. The game was alright, fairly even, and seemingly put together considering we've only had one practice. He plays again tomorrow morning, but I'll miss that one due to work.

I hate missing my kids' sports. Guess I just need to get over it.

Random Thoughts

Why do some people treat employees so horribly? Is it necessary to talk to the person serving you as if this person was stupid or incompetent? The customer is always right; any employee has this rule drilled into his/her head from the get-go. Some customers seem to believe that this gives them the right to treat servers like trash. I hate it.

Obviously, I had a customer treat me this way today. I'm just going to vent a little steam and slough it off. There is just no pleasing some people.
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Teachers in my province erected a picket line today, which meant that there was no school today. Thankfully, my mom was able to keep my kids at her workplace for the four hours that I had to work today. She put them to work peeling vegetables and dusting. I work tomorrow and Sunday, but my next weekday shift isn't until next Friday. Hopefully, this teachers' strike is over by then!

I hate this strike, too. Who is being hurt the most? The kids, especially those who struggle in school. I know that Abby, and even Casey, would be able to catch up easily enough and handle an increased workload, if the strike extends for some time. Sam is a completely different story.
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I am thankful to have Monday off as this is our Thanksgiving weekend. Kane was willing to cook the turkey if I had had to work during the day. He won't need to do that now, but maybe I can sweet talk him into helping. The experience would do him good.

I love turkey! And, all the fixings. Well, those that are tradition for our family: mashed potatoes, gravy, Brussel sprouts, stuffing, pumpkin pie.
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Sam has two hockey games this weekend. I'll be able to see his first game tomorrow, but I'll miss Sunday's game because of work. We're not overly thrilled with who Sam's coach is this year; the last person we wanted actually. But, as we have told Sam, we will work with what we're given and do the best we can. This coach picked Sam, so obviously there is something he values in Sam! Perhaps this year with this coach will be a better experience than our last.

Interpretation

As I bathed this afternoon, I had a 'lightbulb turning on' kind of moment.

Many months ago, I had a vivid dream about my friend and his decision to leave his wife. (I'll call him Joe.) In my dream, there was a circle of people sitting in a room. Joe stood in the middle, while I was outside the circle in the shadows. The people in the circle were not Joe's family, nor were they his old, close friends; they were the people he worked with and hung out with in his 'new' life.

Joe's purpose for this meeting was to tell his "friends" that he had made bad choices and was repenting of them. He was turning his life around. As he looked at each one of these people, Joe said, "It's not because of you that I have reached this place." Then, Joe pointed to me and said, "It is because of her."

After this dream, I kept it to myself for a long time. I wasn't completely sure what to make of it. I have many dreams; each unique, exciting, and often vivid, but never so clearly connected to a real situation with people I know personally. And, I was embarrassed by the comment about my involvement.

However, I always assumed that this dream was for my friend and her husband; for reconciliation. When I finally did share my dream with my friend, I held back the part where Joe pointed me out, again because it embarrassed me. I didn't want this dream to be about me, nor did I want to see personal glory for any change in Joe. I still don't.

Yet, today, a light flashed above my head as I lathered shampoo in my hair. Perhaps, the message of my dream wasn't necessarily meant for my friends, but for me!

Not that I am a wonder woman or a miracle worker, but that I have a strong desire to keep the lines of communication open and to continue being a friend to Joe, despite disagreeing with his choices.

Even with this personal discovery, I am fearful about it. What if this dream was only a dream? Maybe God wasn't speaking to me while I slept...after all, I'm not the best example of one of His children. Why would He speak to me at all?

Because, perfect or imperfect, I am one of His children, and He uses His children in mighty and mysterious ways. Sometimes, He uses the least likely person. Often, these insignificant people do big things for God!

Do I feel big? Hardly. Do I feel worthy of being spoken to by God? Not at all. Do I want to be used by Him for His glory? Absolutely!

This was found in one of my grandpa's photo albums. I'm not sure how old I was when I wrote this...could have been 6 or 7 or even 8. 

Melancholy

I am sad today. For reasons beyond my control and out of my reach. It is hard to pick up the pieces of a broken heart.